Accusations Suck

I just can’t stand it anymore.

I’m about to star in my own episode of Oxygen’s Snapped!

I’ve met my share of people from the close-talkers to the sidelers who often take credit for your hard work. But the one that really burned me and ignited a true Costanza Serenity-Now moment this week was the I-Know-You-Did-It Person.

 

Serenity Now!

 

They never ask you anything, they just automatically know that you are the one that messed things up even if you weren’t in the room, it was you. They’re negative and they’re nasty. You really don’t even want to be acquaintances but for some reason your paths have to cross with one of these crappy people, either at work, school, your kid’s school, and sometimes even within your family get-togethers.

You broke the copy machine, you wasted the ink cartridge and didn’t replace it, you erased the project files, you made the computer crash, you lost the keys, you broke the blender, or you made me make a mistake.

Familiar?

The I-Know-You-Did-It Person knows you did it because they’re also the It-Couldn’t-Have-Been-Me person because they never do anything wrong.  Ever. And this is where the burn comes.

Being around people like that can be so frustrating. They zap out all the juice from your Duracels and you’re constantly trying to replace them just to get through the day.

I usually have to eat some chocolate just to get over the encounter, because it gets under my skin no matter what Zen-like techniques I try. And I think I get all Costanza-style because of the accusation itself. That’s what kills me. Feels more like the accusation is trying to say something about your character and the lack of respect they have for you. If they respected you they would have just asked, but instead they come at you with that hostility, forgetting that they’re the ones probably responsible, or perhaps it was the noodlehead they hired.

At the end of the day I rid myself of the encounter by finishing the rest of the Ben & Jerry’s pint of chocolate awesomeness and binge watching House of Cards. Francis Underwood helps. He wouldn’t take this crap. He’s too busy to ever have a problem like this. He’s got bigger ones and I always love to watch his mind work. Maybe he’ll inspire something.

 

 

 

 

Relationship Advice … Costanza Style

 

Costanza Wisdom

 

 

40 Accidentally On Purpose Random Acts of Kindness Before 40 … No. 5

I don’t know if I was feeling bitter … more like burned out and disappointed rolled up in one.

It was a pretty crappy emotional cocktail.

It wouldn’t seem like much to a lot of people, but for me it was kind of something.

A Night Out.

That’s something. Definitely for someone who doesn’t get a lot of them as babysitting is a rare thing. A Night Out. It’s a simple moment that recharges your battery, but that didn’t happen for me last week. When I found out it wasn’t going to happen I got so burned out about the whole situation. But I didn’t stay home and sulk, although I felt like it.

Instead I went out with my kids and tried to have a family fun night at our favorite Italian restaurant. And what I found was an opportunity to make someone else’s Night Out much better.

Their date night actually.

While standing in line waiting for my order I overheard a couple, maybe in their early 70s, talking about the wine selection and not being really sure whether or not to buy a bottle. They talked about it being their night out and maybe splurging a little. As their linguine and clams came up they hadn’t decided what to do. I looked at the wine selection myself and grabbed the bottle of Malbec they were contemplating. They smiled and nodded their heads. I placed it on my tray.

“Is that any good?” They asked.

“Don’t know, but thought I’d give it a try. You guys seemed so interested. Thought I’d give it a chance.” I said.

They smiled at each other and put a bottle on their tray.

As they reached the front of the line, I waved at the cashier and pointed to the bottle.

“Hey, hey … that bottle is on me.”

 

40 before 40

 

 

They turned to look at me, confused.

“Have a great date night.” I said smiling.

“What?”

“Yeah … have a great date night. Drinks are one me.”

They gave me their thanks and walked to their table.

The bitterness, and burned out feeling was no longer there. I wasn’t upset or sad about missing out, because I had gained something by giving. I realized that just because I couldn’t have a Night Out myself, didn’t mean I couldn’t spread some happiness to those that were already out.

 

 

Way Back … Back To The Days of Leg Warmers, Neon Clothing and Aquanet Hairspray

A friend of mine recently celebrated her 40th birthday, but I imagine it didn’t play out the way she anticipated it.

At work with a double ear and throat infection.

I imagined she would have pictured something different for the big 4-0.

I don’t know. You hit 15, 16, 21, 30, 40, 50, 60 … Those are milestones you think about when you’re younger and you imagine certain things transpiring. Relaxing on a beach. A quiet dinner with family. A wild party with friends. A cake with candles. All sorts of things, but feeling crappy and knocking back some pretty intense antibiotics isn’t something high up on your list. I’m sure she’ll celebrate afterward, or maybe she partied during Valentine’s weekend, but either way I felt kind of bad.

Birthdays should come with a little silver lining, no matter how bad the storm. I felt bad about it and didn’t know how to improve her situation. I had sent her a card with all the loving bosom buddy words my Guat heart could muster and she did receive it before the big day, but considering the Debbie Downer that infections can create I thought I’d make her one of my famous mixed tapes … you know the kind you wish your boyfriend would have taken the time to create and put in your locker. Although her husband is a pretty awesome guy too, so I’m sure he found ways to make the birthday better.

But on behalf of the comadre code it was still my duty to spread a little sunshine. We’re all in it this year, every one us is hitting the big 4-0. So, I took her way back … back to the days of leg warmers, neon clothing, and Aquanet Hairspray, in hopes of making her smile.

Music from your childhood always makes you feel better, takes you to your teenage years, dances in the gym, Friday Night Lights moments, first Molly Ringwald experience, yearbook photos, and laugh out loud scenarios with your girlfriends.

So in an effort to brighten your weekday thought I’d share the mixed tape I made for my friend. Hope it takes you back to the days of Marty McFly.

 

This is Side A.

 

Crush on You — The Jets

 

Saving All My Love For You — Whitney Houston

 

Spring Love — Stevie B

 

Lady in Red — Chris DeBurgh

 

Total Eclipse of the Heart — Bonnie Tyler

 

You Are The First, My Last, My Everything — Barry White

 

In Your Eyes — Peter Gabriel

 

If You Were Here — Thompson Twins

 

Querida — Juan Gabriel

 

Quien Como Tu — Ana Gabriel

 

For All The Love Birds …

 

via despair.com

 

 

 

 

40 Accidentally On Purpose Random Acts of Kindness Before 40 … No. 4

I hate it when it happens.

Just sucks all the air out of my balloon, because nothing good comes out of it.

No.

Nothing.

You’re lying in bed all comfy cozy with your Martha Stewart quilt wrapped around you. Your pajamas are your best friends, and the cool side of the pillow feels like the best place to be at that very moment.

And then you realize what day it is and open your eyes.

You jolt out of bed only to stub your toe on a sharp corner of the dresser and your heart is beating even faster, because now it’s a race. You run out of the bedroom, put on some flip-flops, and grab the first hat in the closet to hide your morning hair.

You make a mad dash for it.

But once you make it to the street, you see it, and it’s too late.

The white envelope with red letters is hanging out underneath your windshield wipers.

Sigh.

You’ve just got a parking ticket.

An $85 dollar parking ticket courtesy of the city. Apparently, keeping the streets cleaned is pretty important. $85 dollars kind of important. That kind of importance really burns me out though. It’s money down the drain, money you never enjoyed spending. Money lost.

And it happens to people at least once a week. I mean there are signs up, but sometimes life it too hectic and crazy, so you forget about the street-sweeper and have a costly surprise waiting for you on the windshield.

This has happened to me and it sucks. So when I went out for my morning run yesterday, I noticed the black Mazda with its own windshield surprise. It made me sad for the owner. So in an effort to spread a little kindness their way, to alleviate the emotional blow caused by this unexpected financial deduction, I thought I’d leave my own little surprise, my own accidentally on purpose random act of kindness.

 

40 before 40

 

I put two lottery tickets, scratchers with the potential of giving you 1000 dollars a week for the rest of your life, in a blue envelope. And on the front I wrote: Sorry you got a ticket, hope this helps. I placed it under the windshield next to the ticket and went back home. I wanted to hide around the corner and wait to see the expression of the car owner, to see if it indeed helped at all. But I never saw them.

And even though I didn’t get a chance to see if the lottery tickets made them smile, I still smiled knowing that the bitterness of the ticket might have been sweetened a little by gesture.

The road to 40 is looking a little better, and I have this 40 Before 40 project to thank for it.

 

 

It’s B.B.O.

I was channeling all my Columbo powers, but for some reason it wasn’t happening.

I looked behind the seats, under the driver seats, and in the cracks of every cushion. But I got nothing.

I had no idea where it was, but I knew it was there.

I tried to air it out by leaving the windows and doors open for a couple of hours, but the next day it just came back again. As soon as I opened the door, it smacked me in the face. I had it. I don’t know how I got it. But I did. I had it.

B.O.

 

 

 

Bad Odor.

But not just regular B.O. it was as my good friend George Costanza says Beyond B.O. it was B.B.O.

And I didn’t know why.

I keep my dad’s truck in good condition, and  wash it about once a week. If the kids ever eat anything in there I make sure there is no trash or crumbs. I thought for some reason I had missed something, but no I didn’t. No matter where I looked, I couldn’t seem to find it. And then as I tried to rush the airing out process I turned on the air conditioner and there it was … the smell.

I had found the B.O.

It was caught in the air vents.

It was coming from the engine.

I thought I was glad to have found the source, until I found out what it really was … a rat.

A dead rat.

The bastard had made its way into the engine somewhere and got trapped.

Dude.

It was one of the most disgusting and foul episodes I’ve had so far.

After being completely grossed out and having it removed, I aired it out for 24 hours.

It still smelled.

It still smelled.

I might give it another day of air, before turning to more drastic measures.

I feel like Jerry Seinfeld when he couldn’t get rid of the B.O. in his car. The B.O. from the valet, that contaminated every part of the car including the people who were in it. Poor Elaine, she had to put tomato juice in her hair.

I feel like I need ten gallons of tomato juice.

Wish me luck.

 

Buen Camino

Not  a lot things make it on my list nowadays.

Nothing new.

Nothing of substance that grabs my attention or speaks to my Guat soul. Ordinary things that I meant to try often get penciled in, but extraordinary, no not recently.

But sometimes inspiration actually finds you.

It speaks to you through story or film.

And I was thankful that it did.

Everyone has something adventurous planned for their bucket list. Some adventures are based on food, others on travel. Some include both in one awesome adventure. I came across one yesterday and I’m proud to say that I added it to my list. Something I had never heard of, but apparently it’s a long-standing tradition that brings about a Paulo-Coelho-like insight to life. It wishes you a Buen Camino.

I want me some of that.

And it all happened because of Mr. Andrew Clark, Billy The Kid, Kirby Keger and Two Bit himself.

If you’ve never watched The Breakfast Club, Young Guns, St. Elmo’s Fire or The Outsiders you have no idea who I’m talking about, for those of you who have you know I’m talking about Emilio Estevez.

 

 

 

I recently watched his directorial efforts in the movie The Way, starring Martin Sheen. It’s a story about a father embarking on the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage in effort to find a connection with his recently deceased son and finish the adventure he started. The journey and self-discovery got to me and it got me thinking of doing something like this for myself. Some amazing travel adventure to add on to my future trip to Europe. A 500 mile trek across Spain ending in an amazing church in Santiago.

The way the film was shot, definitely sounded like my kind of adventure.

Kind of reminded of Reese Witherspoon’s latest Wild, which takes place on the Pacific Crest Trail, but I haven’t seen that yet. I imagine when I do it may inspire another adventure, one closer to home. But for now, I’m setting my sights on Spain and the journey where everyone I’ll encounter wishes me Buen Camino.

Any of you added something to your list?

 

My Mixed Tape

I like the idea of a playlist summarizing my week through songs. The Powers That Be at the Daily Post put out a challenge … describe your week through the power of a playlist.

It started off rough … but turned itself around.

This is my mixed tape.

 

MONDAY

If You’re Going Through Hell — Rodney Atkins

 

TUESDAY

Living On A Prayer — Jon Bon Jovi

 

WEDNESDAY
Roar — Katy Perry

 

THURSDAY
Whip It — Devo

 

FRIDAY
Staying Alive — The Bee Gees

 

How’s your week going?

 

My Radio Flyer Gets Lighter

I’ve been missing my Monday posts and for the most part it has nothing to do with the exciting adventurous existence of my not-so-glamorous life. It’s not so much because I’m doing something great or that I planned to shake things up a bit to appeal to Tuesday readers.

No.

It’s that people are putting rocks in my wagon.

Boulders.

And it’s effecting my uphill climb.

I’d realized it a couple of weeks ago when it started happening more frequently. But I am now coming to the conclusion that I need to avoid people like this, because they’re just not helping the whole situation.

Let me explain …

According to comedian Steve Harvey everyone has a wagon. A little red wagon. A Radio Flyer that you pull up this ginormous hill called life. You got the rope. It’s your haul, you’re responsible for your wagon. Now along the climb you got people who decide to come with you on this journey and they get into your wagon.

 

The Climb

 

After some time you realize that there are two types of people … the kind that help make this climb easier and the ones that are just extra weight dragging you down. The ones that help you are emptying out your wagon, letting you know of any obstacles coming your way, being a navigator and informing you know about storms, pushing it up while you pull, or getting off your wagon to brush away anything that might be on your road. Everyone on your wagon is doing something to help make the climb easier.

And then there are the others.

Whether it’s intentional or not, they have something in them that pulls you down. Some just sit on your wagon, contributing nothing positive. They’re just adding weight, like rocks. Then there are the others, who are filled with clouds of negativity and they make it rain on you. They don’t help with anything. In fact they just add to the struggle with their Debbie-Downer attitude, or hater mentality, which makes the journey more grueling.

And there you are … still pulling.

And pulling.

I realized … it’s time to stop the wagon and get rid of some rocks.

Here’s hoping your load gets lighter too.