Feel Good 5 Friday … 10-12 pounders and No Turkey Trots

I’ve mentioned this before.

Turkey trots.

Haven’t participated in one and usually take to the road on my own designing my own race and hearing my footsteps as they rock they track. Only in adulthood years have I found Zen moments involving Saucony running shoes. I hated running when I was younger. Couldn’t stand it. But after college and kids, I realized that swimming, running, and obstacle racing bring out the better parts of me when I can’t make it to the beach.

The freeing sense of getting away, of moving forward, of making that giant push at the end is extremely satisfying. In truth, I don’t always wake up excited feeling like running is the greatest, but I do feel better every time after I’ve finished. Don’t regret it.

But Turkey Trots … I’m not big on them. I’ve done plenty of other races, just not that one. Maybe it’s more of a group event, you do with a whole lot of your people, wearing turkey costumes.

I’m not big on those, but I don’t think anybody was this year. However I still went on my run. 3.5 miles and that little extra was just in case I had to reach deep to tap the reserve. Thanksgiving provides for loads of material for any artist, but this year the dysfunction was at a minimum in part because we’re in the middle of a pandemic. Silver lining.

But even with the run, with the breathing and the sweat trickling down, with feeling tired, that good kind of tired, with being in that zone, the one that feels like a reward, I felt something missing. There was no where to go this week. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were busy with grocery shopping, kids school, my side project, and pandemic life. But I was not in a giant walk-in fridge-freezer taking inventory of turkeys as I had done for so many years in a row growing up. There were no index cards with orders for 12-14 free range turkeys. No moving or inventorying hundreds of boxes. No customers. No parking validations. No coffee breaks with my dad.

He’s been gone 10 years, but Thanksgiving is still the week and day that I remember him the most. Owning a poultry shop for years, you get to know what weeks are complete chaos and when the countdown needed to begin. And that was it for us. Thanksgiving. Late nights recording new orders with pops at the dinner table, while he drank his coffee.

Boxes. They weren’t my favorite. At the time I dreaded it. So much work. So many 14-16 pound birds. And now I remember it all the time. I can see his distinctive block printing, he only used Parker pens. His white butcher’s coat and collared shirt. His blue Diestel Farms cap and black Samsonite briefcase. His tired eyes but will to keep going because it needed to be done.

I thought about that all week long, 16-18 turkeys, and more so when I was eating the turkey and mashed potatoes on Thursday. The laziness of the day use to always hit us, more him than me. No waking up at 4 a.m. to drive to the shop and get ready for the rush. He’d sleep in on Thanksgiving. He always slept in on Thanksgiving and I thought about him as I rose to run.

Thought about all those details and it pained me to remember that it had been 10 years. But I kept walking with that hurt in my chest knowing it was there because he was loved and missed. Still. And grateful that I could remember the details and picture the moments in my mind. I’m lucky that way I guess. I tell the stories to the kids. They found the endless boxes of turkeys in the walk-in fridge and me freezing hilarious.

Ten years later, no more index cards, 18-20 pounders haunting me, or white butcher coats. Just green bean casserole, mac-and-cheese, fresh rolls, and pumpkin pie … and of course our own 10-12 pounder.

Buen Camino my friends …

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I’ll Be Your Man — Zac Brown Band

Something Just Like This — The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

Let My Love Open The Door — Peter Townshend

Vivo La Vida — Olga Tanon

Last Dollar — Tim McGraw

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Feel Good 5 Friday … On a Saturday

I missed my Wednesday calling … my Words on Wednesday. Twice. Not that anyone is counting really. Feel like I’m performing a one-woman show in a giant theater to an audience of five, but at least it’s an awesome five who bring good vibes and thoughtful conversation.

It’s weariness. I think that’s what’s biting me in ass on Wednesday nights. I need another trip to the CVS vitamin aisle to get some Vitameatavegimin. I feel like the older I get the earlier I go to bed. What is that? I used to stay up until 1 or 2 on a consistent basis. I got parenthood wearing me down now and my silver fox look gaining some ground. With the change of life I haven’t been consistent. I have spurts. But I only have a month left to get a first draft together. I need to whip myself in writer shape. I used to stop by this lady’s spot a while back … 4 a.m. Writer.

Yup.

That’s exactly what it sounds like.

I don’t know if I can hang with that though, I’ve never been a rise and shiner. My entire life the crack of dawn hurts, unless I’m in the Australian Outback. I didn’t feel a thing when I traveled to Ayers Rock. First time in my life that I was excited for 4 a.m. in whatever time zone. I was up to watch the sunrise, freezing with a runny nose, but it was one of the best moments of my life. Funny how weariness hits me more when I’m at home.

But I think I made up for it with a surge of writing. Good music and morning pages. I got turned onto Morning Pages by Tim Ferriss and Brian Koppelman, but I found the source … Julia Cameron.

It’s supposed to help with my creative recovery during this Bill Murray Groundhog Day Adventure we’re all trying to survive. You know, all the procrastination and putting everything and everyone else before your project. Handwritten morning pages in a notebook every day are supposed to empty out the clutter in your mind and free up some space for creative efforts later on in the day, get in the habit of writing no matter what or how I feel. The morning routine of the pages starts the creative gears moving, that along with other Julia Cameron tips. But it took a while for it to kick in, at least for me. But I’m grateful to have been able to make progress.

And as I mentioned before progress means you’re going forward, and forward is a direction.

And along with this spike in activity I was able to hear some jams during some quick dance breaks that helped keep the vibes going. I hadn’t heard a couple of these in a while and they made it to my playlist this week and I was feeling better because of them. I especially enjoyed the funny.

I don’t usually hear Thanksgiving Day songs, Christmas is creeping and trying to take over the waves. But this tune right here … right here at the 4-minute mark from The Roots is my favorite Thanksgiving Song. Ever. In November this makes my day. I get my James Brown Janelle Monet dance moves and it just feels good. Dancing and funny feels good.

So I’m sending it and the rest of my Feel Good 5 Friday out to you …

Buen Camino my friends!

The Queen of Hearts –Juice Newton

Give Me That Side Dish … Stuffing in a Dead Bird — The Roots (starts at 4:00)

Blinded by The Light — Manfred Mann

El Chico Del Apartamento 512 — Selena

Life is a Highway — Rascal Flatts

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Feel Good 5 Friday

Sometimes you just run out of patience and it’s only Wednesday.

I mean I had nothing left in the tank and what made matters worse was the judgement. You know, when people who have no business judging you, go on and preach and you stand there thinking whaaaaaaaaaat? Mannnn, you’re not even in the arena how you gonna judge me. Some people shouldn’t even let out a whisper because the hypocrisy of their voice might just have lightning strike.

The judgement sucks especially when I’m already my harshest critic.

Writers. Artists, Athletes. Parents. People in general

We all have that extra sass in the back pocket just in case we didn’t feel bad enough about how the day was going, you got that zinger. That inner dialogue playing tricks on you when what you need is the strength of your inner superhero, sometimes he’s just stuck in the costume change.

You’re gonna need to wait a minute

So there were a lot of mixed feelings and emotional hangovers rolling over in the middle of the week. Got me thanking the universe for boxing and the sunshine on my back as I ran in the mornings. The pandemic minimizes the getaways, but a quick staycation would be good. Might have to plan another nature escape in order to recharge our batteries. Sometimes staring at your vision board isn’t enough, you got to make your own postcard. Even if it’s not pinned to the board, the trip will still be memorable and important for your sanity, because moving forward is a pace. Doesn’t have to be fast, just forward.

But until then, the eclectic bunch of feel good tunes got me bopping my head and feeling the beat, instead of focusing on the frustration of the moment. Releasing negative energy and breathing in something better, that’s Feel Good 5 Friday.

Buen Camino my friends!

Real World — Matchbox 20

Camisa Negra — Juanes

Keep Ya Head Up — 2 Pac

Some Nights — Fun

Born to be Alive — Patrick Hernandez

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Feel Good 5 Friday … On Sunday Morning Yeah … Sunday

Sometimes the finish line takes a couple extra steps.

The running is smooth. You feel your heartbeat, freedom, and peace. Your best leg. The swimming is hard but you enjoy it. The feel of the water on your skin as you glide passed the ripples. You feel your inner Michael Phelps. But it’s the biking, the hills. Even though you’ve trained the biking still kicks your ass that’s why you don’t like Peloton. You do strength, running, and yoga workouts only.

But you manage to climb while your legs are burning. You keep pedaling. You remember that you do in fact enjoy bike riding, but racing is different.

This week has been a triathlon.

It’s been an incredibly stressful for everyone in The States but it all came to an end last night, with a few more loose ends. But in all the finish line can be seen.

Finally.

The rainbow comes out after the rain and we were able to watch.

Literally.

The kids and I took a walk and there it was … suspended between the clouds. Taking deep breaths and feeling good. You know I always enjoy a walk or run after it rains. No one really around. It’s quiet. But the best part is the scent. The smell of clean air and fresh earth gives off the peaceful vibes and the rainbow was just extra sprinkles on top.

Been a rollercoaster of a week and the playlist for the week reflects that …

Buen Camino my friends.

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Stevie Wonder — Higher Ground

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers — Waiting

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats — S.O.B.

Los Hermanos Flores – La Bala

The Beatles — Here Comes the Sun

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Words on Wednesday …

It happens when things don’t necessarily go your way. You’re late, your friend didn’t come through, you ran out of time, it wasn’t there anymore. These are all reasons we do it.

The emergency gift.

There are multiple bottles of wine and gift cards that I’ve purchased for the emergency gift. As a parent with two kids, timelines don’t always go from A to B. I am dragged in all kinds of directions and trying to Zen my way to having more patience as we rush out the door. Emergency bottle of wine or gift cards saved me. Incidentally, everyone that has gotten these emergency bottles welcomed it with a smile.

But just recently I came across an emergency gift that was stored away. I had bought it last minute to add to a group gift because what my friend had special ordered was not going to arrive on time. At least, that’s what she told me. And it wasn’t until after I had already purchased this, that my friend called and said … I got it! It arrived.

So I kept the emergency present with the intention of regifting it sometime in the future to someone who might really enjoy it. An addition to a present that would add a nice little pick-me-up.

I forgot about it until recently when I went looking for a book and found it on the closet floor. I opened up this unfamiliar box and then smiled when I saw what was inside.

It IS official.

I laughed because I imagined that’s how the girl would react when she opened up the box of goodies and this was one of them.

I realized, I am TOTALLY worthy of this gift myself! I should keep it. There’s no re-gifting this, I mean, I want I can buy another one for someone else. But this one right here, this one is mine. It’s the kind of gift I’d enjoy by myself. Just drinking tea late at night or early in the morning when no one is awake. I’d feel weird if someone else other than the kids saw me drinking out of it. It’s more a private celebratory moment. A pat on the back. A loud woo-hoo whisper. A quiet cartwheel moment, if there is such a thing, to share with myself and take a deep breath.

Yeah. That’s definitely my cup.

It’s good to have reminders of things you shouldn’t forget, especially during Covid when you might not feel at 100 every day. Then I thought I should be buying myself emergency gifts once a month. I should have my own special bottle of wine, chocolate, treat, or reward for little accomplishments.

That helps keep the motivation up, and I definitely need to take advantage of the momentum when it’s rolling my way. Unexpected emergency gifts provide a silver lining to the never ending Groundhog Day we’re all living in right now. They might just give us that extra boost needed. We’d probably give Bill Murray a run for his money.

Buen Camino …

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