It’s B.B.O.

11 Feb

I was channeling all my Columbo powers, but for some reason it wasn’t happening.

I looked behind the seats, under the driver seats, and in the cracks of every cushion. But I got nothing.

I had no idea where it was, but I knew it was there.

I tried to air it out by leaving the windows and doors open for a couple of hours, but the next day it just came back again. As soon as I opened the door, it smacked me in the face. I had it. I don’t know how I got it. But I did. I had it.





Bad Odor.

But not just regular B.O. it was as my good friend George Costanza says Beyond B.O. it was B.B.O.

And I didn’t know why.

I keep my dad’s truck in good condition, and  wash it about once a week. If the kids ever eat anything in there I make sure there is no trash or crumbs. I thought for some reason I had missed something, but no I didn’t. No matter where I looked, I couldn’t seem to find it. And then as I tried to rush the airing out process I turned on the air conditioner and there it was … the smell.

I had found the B.O.

It was caught in the air vents.

It was coming from the engine.

I thought I was glad to have found the source, until I found out what it really was … a rat.

A dead rat.

The bastard had made its way into the engine somewhere and got trapped.


It was one of the most disgusting and foul episodes I’ve had so far.

After being completely grossed out and having it removed, I aired it out for 24 hours.

It still smelled.

It still smelled.

I might give it another day of air, before turning to more drastic measures.

I feel like Jerry Seinfeld when he couldn’t get rid of the B.O. in his car. The B.O. from the valet, that contaminated every part of the car including the people who were in it. Poor Elaine, she had to put tomato juice in her hair.

I feel like I need ten gallons of tomato juice.

Wish me luck.



15 Responses to “It’s B.B.O.”

  1. bgddyjim February 12, 2015 at 4:05 AM #

    Oh noooooooo!!! Good luck, you’ll need it.

    • The Guat February 13, 2015 at 1:09 PM #

      Thanks. I’m in desperate need of luck as it’s been a little over 48 hours and it still smells. Phase II is next.

      • bgddyjim February 13, 2015 at 1:25 PM #

        Good luck, you’ll need it.

  2. susielindau February 12, 2015 at 6:21 AM #

    That is so nasty! I’d use bleach, in gallons!

    • The Guat February 13, 2015 at 1:10 PM #

      I know right? I need to go to Costco for some bleach.

  3. cravesadventure February 12, 2015 at 11:24 AM #

    Ewwww – as I was reading this I was thinking something in the air vents and then wham your story went to the poopy part – ewwww!!! You are going to need to change your air filter in the engine and then spray some Oust or Febreeze into the vents – my brother works in auto body and has taught me a few tricks. Wishing You the Best – Good Luck!

    • The Guat February 13, 2015 at 1:08 PM #

      Duuuuuuuuude I was hoping it was a cheese stick I hadn’t found, but no. And you know what! When he removed the rat he took out the air filter too it has been airing out without the filter or rat and it still smells! Might have to go to drastic measures.

  4. Apple Pie & Napalm February 12, 2015 at 1:40 PM #

    I was going through sympathy gags right there with you. We get a dead rat every now and then in the wall of the house and it’s agony. Pungent fellows.

    • The Guat February 13, 2015 at 1:11 PM #

      Duuuuuude not only do they freak me out when they are alive, they freak my freak with this disgusting smell of death. Hope you get no more in your walls.

  5. Angelia Sims February 13, 2015 at 10:57 AM #

    Oh G.A.W.D! That is some kind of awful!!! I hope you find something that works? FABREEZE in the engine????

  6. The Guat February 13, 2015 at 1:14 PM #

    It’s horrible. One of the most disgusting experiences to date. The Febreeze may work on the fabric but not inside the engine. I’m gonna have to resort to some serious tactical measures here. It’s BBO.

  7. lameadventures February 17, 2015 at 8:41 PM #

    That is monumentally horrific, Guat. How the hell did it get in the engine? Were you having your oil changed and it snuck in when no one was looking? Can your car mechanic advise you about any home grown methods to get rid of the stench?

    • The Guat March 12, 2015 at 12:21 AM #

      Dude this is a completely disastrous situation and if you can believe it … it still smells. And it’s been like forever that it’s been airing out. I thought it had gone away, but when I closed up the windows because it rained one day and then opened them up the next … like a punch in the face. Dude. They think something else died up in there so there on a quadrant search of what the hell else is sticking up the truck. Dude. Disaster, have no idea how they got in, but apparently it’s a common thing for them to die out in the particular spot where they found the first one, now they’re looking for the other. I need to get it detailed as soon as they find the root of the B.B.O. but I did get your links and tried them, but still smelled. Think it’s because there’s something else in there. Dude.

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