Resilient

“The un-concealing of something we never imagined …” — Pete Rollins

Quote of the year.

I think that’s what Jyn Erso was thinking when she set out on that Rogue One journey.

Yup.

Most definitely.

I mean Darth Vader in charge of the Universe?

Definitely sounds like the dark path ahead.

Definitely freaking everyone out right now, definitely freaked everyone out in the Star Wars Galaxy. So they banded together, a motley crew indeed, of The Goonies proportions. A blind guy, with awesome ninja skills and a powerful sidekick, who believed in the power of The Force. A pilot who realized he was on the wrong side and decided to do the right thing and join The Resistance, a reprogrammed android who is surprisingly hilarious throughout the entire movie reminding us that we need laughter during strife, and an Intelligence Officer who served in the Alliance and chose to believe in Jyn, to believe in a cause bigger than him.

In time of conflict, ordinary people choose to do extraordinary things and in doing so create hope for the future. Even though they died, hope and resilience rose from a Darth Vader cloak of tyranny. Their idea for a better future endured. I mean all you need is an idea … and some ninja skills.

I mean look at Luke and Leia Skywalker for crying out loud. Princess Leia … what a great character. Rest In Peace.

We’re sure to have some Skywalker type of people in 2017. Some Jyn and Captain Cassian leaders out there who fight the good fight, head the resistance. and continue being a beacon of hope, continue being resilient.

Resilient. Something needed for 2017. Definitely need to endure. Hope is resilient.

I saw this awesome poster by my house … it definitely seemed fitting for the challenge.      TM & Lucasfilm LTD

 

“Rebellions are built on hope.” — Jyn Erso

 

 

Resilient Challenge Courtesy of The Daily Post

 

 

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Happy Festivus!

Happy Festivus people! In a Telemundo version of the Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength, it never occurred to me that I would get sick this holiday season, but what’s Festivus without the added bonus of a migraine followed by nausea and killer stomach aches.

Yup … there I was … scavenging the medicine cabinet for Sal de Uvas–you know my people’s Alka-Seltzer– during the Broncos vs. Chiefs game and praying that I wouldn’t throw up on the floor.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

It’s a terrible feeling when you know you have to but it’s not happening, your whole body is going through an internal battle, and you can feel its losing, and there on the horizon is bed time routine … just waiting to start.

I held out as long as I could, but in the end my son finished reading How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Both kids went to sleep quickly as they could tell mom was losing the battle, we all managed to fall asleep until my phone rang and it woke me.

I’m still losing the battle but feel that if I lay perfectly still with no sudden movements  it’s not that horrible. Listening to some tunes and watching The Ref helps. Slipper socks … medium. Ha! Dennis Leary cracks me up.

So I thought I’d try to pass along the good cheer … you know, just in case some of you were battling the Festivus nausea this year and needed some Christmas spirit headed your way … you know in case you wanted to feel like Hugh Grant dancing to  The Pointer Sisters in Love Actually.

Hope your Festivus was merry and filled with laughter … not nausea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Buen Camino my friends.

It Was Time To Find The Story …

I had to get a jump on it, between folding laundry and ironing clothes for tomorrow, I had to get on it. I had to muster up enough 5-hour energy on my own, the natural kind, the one that comes from heart and will power, not so much the one that came in the bottle. Otherwise I’d have no story this week, and with no story there is no record  …

You gotta have a record. I almost didn’t have one this week … the cool side of the pillow seemed to win most of the battles this week as I fell off the WordPress Wagon. Didn’t mean to of course. I’d like to say it was because of the holiday and all the Christmas spirit that was hanging around here, but no … no spirit. Just exhaustion.

But before the week ended I was able to summon the creative juices of finding the funny … I had to … otherwise the bitterness of the situation would fester into my Festivus celebration and I’d just turn into another angry chick.

But you know what?

Nothing is wrong with being an angry chick.

Absolutely nothing.

You just have to accept that, but I’m not always that angry chick. Most of the time I’m Zen, but anger strikes hard when people cross the line. So you have to hold tight to the things that matter to you … like dignity and self-respect and being able to tell a story before the powers of exhaustion kick in and you fall asleep at the computer.

Take for instance the chick that was suing me … she turned out to be a very angry individual who embellished the story quite a bit as she spoke in front of the judge. However the law happened to be on my side and I didn’t have to go into too much detail when it was my turn. So Judge Wapner dismissed it But I’ve learned that just because it was dismissed, doesn’t mean it’s over. She looks like the kind of person that might appeal … we’ll see. I didn’t get a good vibe from her as she walked out of the courtroom.

Or take for instance when someone flat out accused me of taking something we both knew I’d never touched, however blame was being throw around with profanity and bad attitude because they had an audience. Why not throw me under the bus while they had an audience? Drives things more in your favor. Luckily said object was found. I got no “I’m sorry,” or “thanks for finding it”. Just plain attitude that it was missing because they happen to forget where they put it …

Don’t you hate it when that happens?

People … I get that losing something sucks, but don’t go off blaming people who are standing within a 10-foot radius of you just because you’re frustrated.

So during this edition of Guatemalan Peoples Court, writer-director battles that cancelled my project, and being thrown under the bus for a family member’s lost item, I took it upon myself to remember … to remember that this stuff isn’t really important.. It sucks. Yes. No doubt. It’s not cool what they’re doing. It isn’t … but their opinion of me and what they say isn’t important. It doesn’t matter.

What matters is how you act when the shit hits the fan. And I’m happy to say that my integrity stayed in tact, my ability to do the right thing, to go high when they went low, was in full effect. So when I lay my head on the pillow I have no regrets.

I know what was said about me was exaggerated. I know it wasn’t true and my kids knew it wasn’t and that’s what mattered most. I continually focused on people and things I loved … like my kids, chocolate, friends, Netflix … plus it didn’t hurt that I was able to beat the crap out of pads during a Muay Thai boxing workout.  Beating the crap out of things helps to get it all out, because I realized that sometimes mind over matter doesn’t work out … so you have to use body over mind to get you out of the funk. Working out, getting you body active, tends to help align things mentally for me again.

And for that I was grateful.

I’d put that bitterness in the rear view mirror and was looking ahead. Festivus was around the corner, time to celebrate, time to wake up the next morning and be like … I got this! It was time to find the funny in the the not-so-funny … it was time to find the the story

 

 

Sandbox List Adventures: Guatemalan Wayne Gretzky to The Rescue

So after a tough week and a disappointing business meeting … I’m gonna  take a bit of my own advice in order to turn a corner. I’m gonna have to open up that Blessed Project to change perspective.

And so … here I am reigning in my disappointment with chocolate and thinking about this Bucket List fail that just happened to me. Trying not to think about it and learn the lesson, actually, which is a little difficult during the chocolate-eating stages.

But even though my Bucket List Adventure didn’t pan out, thinking about my son’s brings a sense of pride and warmth to my heart and a smile to my face. Remembering that he got a chance to do something big, helps this defeat.

Looking at pictures and watching video helps me focus on something positive.

You see this one is every sports enthusiast dream.

This one fell under the highlight reel… and it ended up being a great outing. You see, I’ve mentioned this before, but just in case you’ve missed it … This is a House of Sports! We enjoy playing and watching them. And when the Olympics comes every four years … forget about it! All day every day. I guess it stems from the time I towered at 5-foot-3, tallest Guatemalan in the houuuuuse, and I swore I was a baller who was gonna make it big time. Showtime at The Forum. However injuries and reality being what they are and all … my balloon deflated and that never came to pass.

However my son … he made it. Guatemalan Wayne Gretzky got a chance to skate at The Staples Center during a L.A. Kings game and everyone was flipping out. Getting there early to check in our bags, watching the players warm-up, seeing my son walk down the tunnel and hit the ice, seeing him takes his first steps and then find his groove, all of that made everyone’s Bucket List.

I felt so happy that he was able to get this opportunity and even more proud that he didn’t waste it. He appreciated all the pregame routines and when he got on the ice … he went for it. While some kids didn’t even get a chance to touch the puck, my son went all out. Clear eyes, full hearts.

He hustled, took the puck away, then went left,  right then left again. He went around and through a couple of players made it to his goal, slapped that puck with an awesome swing, it skidded through a diving player …

And then …

Then by the hair on the chinny-chin-chin the goalie narrowly blocked that shot. My son put his hands up in the air, he couldn’t believe it. I smiled and gave him a thumbs up. Even though the puck didn’t find the back of the net, watching that move, seeing him go all out made my day, week, month.

That right there … that was a bottle-me-up memory which I uncorked today. Sandbox List Adventures working it’s magic. It brought a smile to my face, when I felt disappointment, warmed my heart when it was feeling cold, made me smile when I was sad, and changed my perspective when I needed to find a new one.

Guatemalan Wayne Gretzky to the rescue on a Friday night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blessed Project

Throughout all the dramatic moments that require a Costco-sized portion of chocolate and comedy, I find that gratitude helps change perspective. I can be angry, sad, frustrated, and gutted but if  I can find a moment of gratitude that changes my compass, and after a while I’m able to find the funny in not so funny situations.

I like to live by the Silver Linings Playbook when I can and finding blessings, big or small helps me stay on that page.

A good blogging buddy, Susie Lindau, kicked off The Blessed Project this month, which I thought was such a great way of sending positive vibes out to the universe. Can’t feel too much negativity when you’re thinking of things to be grateful for …

So I’ve found the beginnings of my list. I imagine that by December 31st, I will have added more and will definitely revisit as the year comes to an end and a new one begins.

So what’s on the list …

 

 

Family.

They make me try harder than anyone and anything. I’m lucky to love somebody this much and to have this love  make me a better person. Every morning I get up with purpose, exhausted, but with purpose. They make my half-empty glass look half-full and I’m continually trying to appreciate the present, so that the years don’t feel so short.

I’m blessed with …

🙂

Laughter …

I’m blessed to have a sense of humor to get me through the hard times. I feel really blessed that I find strength when others might have broken down by now. My ability to look for the funny helped me persevere through multiple bouts of failure in everyday life, in motherhood, parking wars, writer rejections, customer service reps, supermarket sweeps, and crazy lawsuits by some crazy chick. I’m blessed that I can write about my journey and know that laughter will be a large chapter.

I’m blessed to live in …

Appreciating the beach, the surfers and gaining peace at the same time. 🙂

Touching the Pacific Ocean

We played sports.

A beach trip is not complete without building sandcastles. And everyone was hard at work, but as you can tell I didn’t dress my kid. Pink would never have been an option for my daughter. In fact I have no idea how this swimsuit made it. It’s a good thing the Pacific Ocean had magical mood changing powers.

California … where the beach is my escape during weekends in the summer, spring, and fall, where the waves can help calm inner turmoil, where we can play soccer, baseball, and volleyball in the sand with my kids, where a boogie and the waves can wash away a bad mood and where nature is so close I can feel her whisper good things to me as the sun warms my face.

I’m blessed  …

My Dad with his grandson …

The inspiration I wore that day

Hanging with Dad.

My Dad …

My Dad … just being Dad

 

that my father’s spirit is with me even though he’s passed away. I’m blessed that I remember the lessons he tried to teach me and that in the end I could call myself his friend. I wasn’t only family I was his friend.

I’m blessed that …

 

.

🙂

🙂

Merryl Streep rocks.

.

Image courtesy of Shuffle.com

🙂

 

I find moments of inspiration and strength from unlikely places and they stick with me, they change my course and I’m better for it. I’m blessed to have learned lessons.

I’m blessed …

Rejuvenate with friends

The people who help me forget that I have gray hair.

with a handful of friends, college buddies, work-out pals, life long friends that support me and accept me as I am, that don’t curb my enthusiasm and let my Marty McFly freak flag sail high.

I’m blessed …

Just finished Devil’s Canyon and racing to the pool.

Bungy Jumping in Cairns, Australia

 

with a love for sports, adventure, and bucket list shenanigans and for the opportunities that make these things happen. I’m blessed with opportunities that help give me peace, awesomeness, rejuvenation, feel-good feelings, confidence, mojo, juice, and that awesome Gatorade-Commercial- worthy-Ninja-Warrior feeling that gives me that Super Soul Sunday moment.

I’m blessed with opportunity … even though I might not see it sometimes, they’re there. Just got to take a closer look.  Everyday there’s a new chance, a new opportunity, for something amazing to happen, a moment of awesomeness that’s all I need.

 

 

Writer Wednesday’s

I can admit to the fact that change is hard for me. I like my routines, I like the fact that I can count on certain details of my day following a certain agenda. I find comfort in knowing how things are gonna pan out.

However when it comes to motherhood, I sort of have to go with the flow or I’d have a breakdown everyday. I learned to loosen up a bit with expectations. You can’t stick with Plan A all the time, you’ve got to be prepared to kick in Plan B, C, and D at any moment.

That is something that happens with writing all the time. You come up with a genius idea in the middle of the night and realize after further review that this half-baked notion should not see the light day. Other times awesome is just awesome no matter when inspiration strikes.

Writing is one of these things where flexibility matters. Change will happen. Your first draft will not always be awesome, in fact most of the time it isn’t. So rewrites are part of your life. I know about writing changes, I used to work for a newspaper. Edits happen all the time, but the thing is when they happen … It’s a collaborative effort to help improve the story, preserve the voice, and and enhance its best parts, which is why I’ve always embraced the editing process.

Just makes things better.

However I’ve learned that not every change is for the better and that’s when you’ve got to take a stand, especially when you weren’t even aware that it was happening.

I’ve never worked with someone whose taken the liberty of changing my story without letting me know. In fact had they changed it for the better I’d probably thank them for it, but let them know that the manner in which they did it could have been handled better.

However these changes affected the kind of story I wanted to tell. My voice was changed and it was changed without permission. As you all know one of my pieces was selected to be part of a theater festival. I was extremely excited and proud that my work would hit the stage.

However, I find myself at a crossroads … well not really. I thought it was but I know what my gut was telling me to do.  I’m ready to pull out of the festival.

You see, the director that was chosen decided to change my piece and not just a small enhancement, but a pretty big change that for me changes the direction of the story and essence of my characters.

So I was at a crossroads …

But the decision wasn’t hard, I know I would pull out. It was just sad that I would have to do it. I didn’t want to seem like a diva who was storming out of a room, but I knew that this change was something I couldn’t let go. Don’t know if you writers out there know what I’m talking about. Ever feel like the story becomes a story that you wouldn’t have written? That’s where I felt this was going.

So I’m at the crossroads, but not really. There’s a meeting set for Friday to see if a compromise can be reached. If not … then it’s back to page one of a new project and a renewed sense of determination to make something happen.

 

🙂

 

So I’ll write on …

 

IWSG

 

 

 

 

 

 

Got An Extra High-Five For That One

I remembered no one being on that track other than myself. I remembered that breath I took when it happened. I remembered my face catching the sun as I looked up and smiled.

You know, I know I didn’t need the validation. In fact I knew I had done more … a lot more. I had reached the milestone way before the ticker clocked it in. But for some reason recording it made it more official … made the moment feel more like a-haaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 

 

And the thing is I wasn’t even planning it, the 100 just sort of snuck up on me.

I knew I had already run 100 miles in my lifetime, probably multiple times before discovering the app, but the fact that I had done it and done it in such a short amount of time felt empowering. And the weird thing was that I always hated running but as I’ve gotten older I appreciate the quiet moments on the track and feeling like I’m in my own Gatorade-Nike commercial.

I enjoy the pool even more, I know my knees do, but the weather hasn’t been conducive to a dip in the pool, plus I don’t have one. So there’s that too. Driving out to the non-heated pool in the early hours wasn’t something my body was looking forward to, but putting on sweatpants (I think I may be the only one on Earth to still own a pair of those as everyone else has those yoga pants or tight pants, it’s a tight pants nation) sweatshirt, a beanie, and hitting the track, that seemed doable. And free.

Starting off slow saying to myself I’ll just walk, I’m not in the mood really. I’m tired. My mind is tired. My body is tired, the kind of tired that all parents know very well. But as  I walk the loop on the track, I hear the crunching sound my shoes  make as the gravel meets the treads.

I like that gravely sound. It makes me walk faster and then I rethink the whole walking thing. I think maybe I’ll just run a mile and then it turns into two, sometimes three.

And at the end of the run as I’m pumping my arms, out of breath, racing to the imaginary finish line I feel good. I catch a second wind and feel invigorated when I stop. It isn’t about the calories burned it’s the way I feel at the end. It’s the gravely sound I hear, the peace that comes over me as my breath slows down, the quiet that I needed in my heart to start the day right.

It’s an awesome feeling. The bottle-me up kind. And the fact that I clocked in 100 miles during this process … just makes it even better. Felt like I accomplished a little bit more. I gave myself an extra high-five for that one.

 

It’s The Fourth Quarter

I’m just gonna close my eyes for a minute. That’s what I told myself. Just for a minute. That was on Monday and Wednesday night.

Just for a minute.

The power of sleep … it pulls me in like The Force, especially on cold nights when the warmth of the fuzzy blanket and fuzzy socks comforts me and the weight of parenthood makes my eyelids heavy. The click-clacking of my keyboard has been cold this week on the Word Press front, but the ideas are still swirling in my head and I’ve got a whole month before the year is done, so there’s still time.

It’s the fourth quarter, I always did well in the fourth quarter. So time to step it up a notch. One more shot before the buzzer rings. One last effort to put it all out there on the page. But I’m finding that this little philosophy is going to stretch its wings beyond my keyboard. I’m finding inspiration in lectures, speeches, and shows I hadn’t heard and seen before. Words that touched my heart because they were genuinely spoken.

You look to be humble and kind in your quest, and practice gratitude before you rest. You look to give it 100%, whatever 100% looks like that day. You look to rest your head on the pillow when the moon is out, and find that you have no regrets because you were kind and compassionate today.

Those are the kind of insights you need when it’s the fourth quarter, when you’re looking back on your plans or the bucket list adventures that you set out to conquer in January. You find your inner Clark Griswald as the holiday season comes around and you string up those lights because you believe in a better perspective.

It’s the fourth quarter and believe in silver lining playbooks.

Game on.