As Football Season Starts I Just Want To Remind You …

 

Image via Despair.com

 

But let’s be honest, this applies to more than just sports.

 

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Focus

 

Focus

 

Even when she was acting like Super Dog and getting jumped on, she remained focused. Say cheese …

 

Daily Prompt: Funny Ha-Ha … It’s My Compass

Funny.

I thank it for being the weapon to my survival.

It’s one of my best qualities. I think it raises the point level on my chick-o-meter. Otherwise I’d probably just be average. But the thing is I’m not hilarious-stand up comedy type of funny. I’m more of a situational humorist — the kind that finds funny or at least tries to find the funny in disastrous, hopeless, ridiculous situations.

🙂

I mean when you’re the only person in the Lamaze class that states with absolutely certainty that you’re gonna get the drugs as soon as you walk through the hospital doors, but when the time comes you realize that your particular labor is quick and by the time you arrive apparently you are at the point of no return.

No drugs.

You have to find the humor in that, maybe not at that instance but shortly thereafter when you’re cursing up a storm in a catholic hospital, that’s got to be a ha-ha moment.

When you’re sitting in your shrink’s office and she says:

“Sorry I don’t think this is working out.”

Dude. You realize that she just gave you the it’s-not-you-it’s-me speech. How do you go about dealing with the fact that your shrink broke up with you? I mean who does that happen to?

Me.

It happens to people like me. So instead of drowning in sorrows thinking I’m beyond help, or jumping off a bridge, I write a short story about it and try to find the humor in being dumped by a therapist. Ha-ha moment indeed.

Perhaps the ha-ha’s extend to situations beyond just me, where I can find funny in uncomfortable situations that I unknowingly ignited. Just like the time where I got a new job and had been working there for about six months before I met a guy who I thought was great. Super cool. I thought he was so great that I set him up with my old high-school friend. I was proud to have been a successful matchmaker, only to accidentally realize that the reason he’d been off from work for a week was because he was on his honeymoon. Yeah, after the shock wore off I found my matchmaking skills to be quite humorous.

Even in the face of death, I found a ha-ha moment. And I really shouldn’t have. Facing near death should really scare the crap out of you, but I found that almost choking to death on a Pinkberry Frozen Yogurt topping and then peeing on myself in public while I was trying to cough my way back to life might have been pretty amusing. Or perhaps macing myself in the middle of the night on a dark street on the way back from the library during my college days would have required a little ha-ha in order to get passed the stupidity of it all.

Did I mention I’m a mom? Yeah.

Mother of two.

You need humor to get you through the day. Parenting, although joyous, stresses you out. You get to know the word weary. I never knew weary until I was a parent, so humor helps me get through parenthood, as does chocolate and a nice glass of Framboise.

Yes.

Funny does play an important role in my life. I find that humor is the compass that keeps me grounded. It’s my Wish Factor … The Wish Factor. The X Factor. It’s that thing that keeps me from falling apart sometimes. It’s the thing that helps withstand the George Costanza phase of my current existence. It’s the thing that makes life less crappy, because on any given day you never know what funny can do. Funny is the thing. It makes survival possible. It makes life more enjoyable. That’s what funny does for me.

But aside from making myself laugh, who is the funniest person I know?

My college comadres crack me up. It’s a cohesive effort where everyone feeds off each other and the laughter abounds. A day with them ends up being good for my soul.

The funniest person on TV that cracks me up?

I’ve got many, but Jason Bateman, Jimmy Fallon, Louis C.K., Jerry Seinfeld, and Melissa McCarthy seem to rock my boat whenever it’s enduring a perfect storm.

Yup. Funny … It’s my compass.

 

 

To The Person Who Took My Parking Spot …

To the person who selfishly took my parking spot even though I was right behind the other car, waiting, with my blinker on, honking at you, and pointing …

To the person who created a non-Zen like environment so early in the morning even though I was trying so hard to maintain a Namaste existence …

To the person who caused me to circle the block four times before I could get another parking spot two blocks away …

To this same person who I saw at the doctor’s office ten minutes later sitting comfy cozy in that green plastic chair seven people ahead of me …

To this same person who smiled at me as I walked into the room  …

To the same person who I wanted to tell “Are you kidding me!” but all I could do was look at you because my two-year old and five-year old were with me.

Yeah … this is for you …

 

Image via LeFunny.net

 

The Top 10 That Make You Smile

There are times when you walk into a department store or liquor store and you hear it.

You could be thinking about what to make for dinner, picking up the kids, your budget, the ugly sweater and how sad it is that you can’t even afford the ugly sweater, or you could still be fuming over the fight you had with that stupid someone over the parking space they stole from you. But then you hear it and it’s unexpected. You stop and you smile.

You don’t even look to see if someone is watching you … you just start bobbing your head to the beat and you mouth the words. Sometimes your foot starts tapping. And then there it is … your freak flag is flying.

This is the scene that occurred to me when I read a recent post from a fellow blogger “50 Things That Make Me Smile”. She had some good ones on the list and even inspired me to make my own list. But then I realized that some of my own 50 list items had to do with television shows or music.

Yeah.

So I went back in my Guat brain for the television moments that helped me flip the switch no matter what and I realized it all started with the theme song. I could be any where doing anything, doesn’t matter. If I hear any of these songs … BAM smile on my face, singing or humming the song, followed with some awesome Solid Gold Dancer moves. They’re pick-me-ups. And everyone needs a good pick-me-up.  So I paused my 50 Things That Make Me Smile list and created this one.

So if you’re having a rough Thursday here you go … the top ten television show theme songs. Guaranteed to make you smile, give you some Vitameatavegamin-pep-pick-me-up kind of mood. Snaps you out of it … for at least two minutes.

 

10. Magnum P.I.

 

9. Party of Five

 

8.  Night Court

 

7. Psych

 

6. The Greatest American Hero

 

5. One Day At A Time

 

4. Bosom Buddies

 

3. Rescue Me

 

2. The Jeffersons

 

1. Sanford & Son

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Carefree

 

Carefree

 

When I think of carefree I remember my dad … the master of random acts of kindness and carefree spirit celebrating his Guatemalan summer.

 

Sandbox Adventure List 18: Kindergarten

I never have trouble sleeping.

Ever.

But last night … last night was Kindergarten Eve and it was a rough one. Not so much because my son was tossing or turning, he wasn’t. Not so much because he was worried and stressed out, he wasn’t.

It was me. I was the problem.

I was anxious and feeling uneasy. I was having an attack of the neurotic mom syndrome. I had worries. At first it was little things, like waking up late and then having him be late for school, or getting toothpaste on his first-day-of-school shirt. Then it got to the point where I worried about the teacher sitting him next to the kid who ate crayons, no offense to the kid who ate crayons. I worried about jackass kid bullies. I know that as a mom I shouldn’t say jackass kids, but I know you know what I’m talking about. You’ve seen them out there wreaking havoc on weary moms and deans of discipline. The kind of kids that need a scared-straight moment. I worried about bathroom breaks. I worried he wouldn’t make it to the bathroom in time and he’d be the kid who peed in his pants on the first day of kindergarten, marking him for the rest of his elementary school life. Yeah … that was me late at night.

The 6:15 a.m. wake-up alarm was rough. But I managed to survive the morning rush and got to school in plenty of time to avoid the crazy mom minivan-SUV traffic jam. And the fact that I found parking and didn’t have to walk five blocks to the entrance … dude … I think that’s what flipped the switch and I remembered to breathe. The early morning seemed peaceful enough to ease my anxiety and be fully present for the first-day-of-kindergarten-you’re-going-to-do-great speech.  And it was …

 

The morning awaited us …

 

Wearing his Batman backpack he felt brave and walked toward the doors.

 

Waiting eagerly to walk through the doors and begin his first day.

 

His sister was a little sad to see him go. She waited for a long time before walking back to the car.

 

Dropping him off was tough, but picking him up was awesome … for all us. His sister saw him and shrieked out his name … just as loud as Rocky screamed out Aaaaadriennnnnnnnnnne!

 

I was happy to see him smile when he saw me, happy to hear about his day, happy to hear that he got a “peacekeeper” badge for being well-behaved, and happy that the first day of kindergarten went better than expected. I was happy, I was relieved.

 

 

Sandbox Adventure List 17: The Big Splash

It was five feet away from her. Five feet … and all she could do was sit there and look. Just sit there and look. Four days a week for the past six weeks, strapped in the stroller without being able to get out. She could see it. She could see it! But all she could do was imagine how it would feel. Just imagine.

But today … today was the day imagination crossed over and Sandbox List Adventures came true.

All summer long her brother has been splashing around, practicing his backstroke, his freestyle form, his starfish float, Superman float, and all other type of floats, while his sister watched. She pretended to be swimming too, mimicking his moves without ever touching water.

But today … today I stood in line for half an hour to get wristbands for entrance into the pool. And you know how I feel about community pools, don’t you?  I’m into hygiene. The whole urine being attacked by chlorinated water really seems to bother me. I mean how powerful is chlorine really? How fast can it get to other people’s urine before it can get to me? The whole reasoning behind this kind of chemistry concerns me. I’m a writer, so I’m not aware of the answers. But I took a chance that everyone needing to be wearing Huggies Little Swimmers diapers would be wearing them and that everyone used the toilet before jumping into the shallow end.

And so with this brave mindset, today was the day my daughter got a chance to jump in the Olympic-sized pool during recreational swim time  … A.K.A. Rec Swim. But better yet, today was the day we bought the purple wristbands for special entry into the kiddie pool. Today was the day she got to experience the water slides, sprinklers, and other awesome water splashing devices she’s been staring at for the entire summer. Today was the time for The Big Splash toddler style.

 

A smile lit up her face as we pulled up to the familiar place during a not so familiar time. Her brother couldn’t wait and took off running, she of course followed.

 

We passed by the bigger pool we would eventually jump into towards the end of our little adventure. But first thing was first … Kiddie pool.

 

Ahhhhh. The Kiddie Pool. It was amazing to see the laughter and giddiness coming through as we approached the area. My son wanted to demonstrate his sliding abilities first so that his sister could watch and learn.

 

She watched for about a second before she decided she was more of doer than a watcher.

 

She bravely made her way through the sprinklers, water spinners, and other Coppertone babies. She reached the top and swooshed her way down to the best splash of the summer. It was so good she decided to make it happen again and again and again for the next thirty-eight minutes. She took a sprinkler break and then returned to the slide again.

 

Considering all the kids and the potentially hazardous bodily fluids trying to survive in the chlorinated water I’d say I did a good job of taking one for the team. taking one for The Big Splash. And during the process I even satisfied one of my own summer wishes by going down the giant green slide. Granted doing a backflip when I landed in the pool was accidental, it still looked pretty cool and I felt pretty adventurous during this Sandbox List Adventure.

Nothing like a big splash to help make you right. So after some time in the giant pool, we returned back to the kiddie area so that my kids could continue their big splash moments. We left with pruny toes, pruny fingers, red eyes, and ashy skin, but we’d never felt better. The Guats and The Big Splash were a good combination that day.

 

Sometimes You Just Need a Break From All That Learning

 

Image via LeFunny.net

 

 

Funny is Pretty Attractive To Me

Stephen Colbert. Steve Carell. Jon Stewart. Jimmy Fallon.

They’ll probably never make it on the 100 sexiest people alive magazines but they float my boat. And it’s not so much because I’m a nerd and Marty McFly enthusiast. It’s that they’re attractive to me. At first sight they may not be stop-me-in-my tracks-do-a-double-take-kind of hotties. They’re not Ryan Gossling, Tatum Channing, Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but they’re personality and ability to crack me up makes them fantastic looking. Their comedy makes them hot.

I don’t think this happens to guys, though. It should, but throughout my entire adolescence it seemed that they followed a different ideology — the looks good in short shorts, short skirts, Maybelline Cover Girl look. Funny Chapstick girls that played sports wasn’t something they were interested in. But I guess eventually some of them learned.

I’ve had this conversation with myself and others a couple of times. It’s the whole Shallow Hal mentality, where inner beauty should outweigh the outer beauty. A great looking chic or dude can totally become ugly because their whole attitude sucks. Spending more time with them and realizing they have no substance brings them down various notches. However someone that’s not considered “conventionally attractive” and front-cover magazine worthy can be pretty Guatacular because their personality rocks.

Stephen Colbert, for instance.

Yeah.

Did you see this?

I couldn’t stop laughing. I thought to myself … I don’t know why people don’t automatically think funny is sexy. Let me educate you … It is … it just is. Comedy and laughter are attractive. After Colbert’s Soul Train dance moves I thought about him and realized he’s definitely more attractive than people give him credit for … he’s magazine-cover worthy.

And then there’s Jon Stewart. He’s funny in almost everything he does, but this was one of the best speeches I ever heard.

Yeah. Jon definitely deserves to be thought of as amazingly attractive after that. Some people don’t tend to think so as he may not be the Hollywood heart-throb, but he’s definitely my heart-throb. Being smart and using your sense of humor to make people laugh is one of the most attractive features that people tend to overlook. And if you’re one of those people … you’re missing out.

I mean really Steve Carell in The Office and in his Hollywood comedies have made me see him in a different light. A hunky-dory light. And Jimmy Fallon just makes my night with his Late Night Show. I get his sense of humor and for that he becomes better looking every week. There’s nothing like a guy that can make you laugh and who brings you chocolate, of course.

I don’t know … maybe it is the nerd in me, or the fact that I when I was younger I’d hoped people would see the beauty in funny, but for the most part they only saw beauty in beauty. I’m thinking funny plays a bigger role in that, but that’s just my philosophy. Funny is pretty attractive to me.