Words on Wednesday … An Unexpected Boost

This is when they all come out … The Top 10 Best Things to do on New Year’s Eve, The Top 10 Movies, The Top 10 TV Shows, The Top 10 Songs, The Top 10 Stories, Top 10 Exercises for Six-Pack Abs, The Top 10 Restaurants Top 10 Remedies to Get You Out of Your Rut … Top 10 Reasons Not to Care About Someone Else’s Top 10 Lists.

I imagine there were a lot of those lists piling up on people’s table tops or crowding people’s browsers this year. But these lists are not my jam. I tried one once but when it said that mayonnaise was an ingredient for chocolate cake I damn near lost it. In fact I did. Who. Does. That?!

Mayonnaise and chocolate.

Disgusting.

Made me re-examine the whole concept behind lists.

I mean they’re good for making you aware of events that you might have missed, but unless it’s written by someone you know, I wouldn’t put much weight on it, stick to your own opinion and balance it out with your own likes and intentions.

Like getting rid of bad moods or vibes. Don’t need a Top 10 for that one. Just tune into your being and see what works for you. Sometimes that same go-to solutions may not work and you just have to try something else. Feeling the funkiness fatigue of the grind hit mid-morning and it just ignited a burned-out-foul mood. I mean I was hot!

Even went out to a park, the one with the huge field and lots of space where we could be away from anybody if anybody were there, but that didn’t work. Walking among the trees and nature, feeling the sun, that wasn’t working it’s magic today. Perhaps the people taking a million selfies on the giant rock annoyed me too much. Couldn’t shake it loose.

Needed a boost from somewhere else…

I found it in an unexpected place.

I was supposed to help a friend of mine make some phone calls before the New Year. Big deadline tomorrow. I agreed to it last week and seeing how I still had that stank of a mood on me, I wanted to say I couldn’t make it today. But I was just giving my kids a lecture in the morning about keeping your word, and if you say you’re gonna do something, then show up and do it. Actions matter. Words matter. So I couldn’t really be a chump, a hypocrite.

So I fired up the computer, logged onto my email, and turned on my phone.

Got into the groove of the phone calls.

Some people were nice, others hung up, some didn’t answer. But nevertheless I was doing something for someone else. I was helping because I believed in them and what they were doing. By the end of the calls the funky foul mood feeling disappeared. And it wasn’t like I was building houses for people, or working in a soup kitchen, it was phone calls. Helping to make phone calls. Simplest of gestures, but it mattered.

Helping someone else get closer to their goals, their dreams … that made me feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel better. And that’s something I wasn’t looking for when I began. I wasn’t in it for me. My thoughts focused solely on helping out before the deadline. Adding my voice to ease the workload. But in addition to helping them, I also helped myself

The boost to get me through my funk sometimes doesn’t show up in a podcast, a book, a story, a show, movie, song, or workout routine. Sometimes the boosts comes from helping someone who needs a hand. I was glad to have turned the corner. And then when I walked out for some scooter time with the kids in the driveway the sky smiled down on me and the day ended with another a boost. I like closing it down on a good note.

🙂 even when there are storm clouds, the sky manages to bring its Crayolas and make you smile

Glad to have gotten two boosts in one day … both before the New Year.

Buen Camino my friends!

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Feel Good 5 Friday

Sometimes you just run out of patience and it’s only Wednesday.

I mean I had nothing left in the tank and what made matters worse was the judgement. You know, when people who have no business judging you, go on and preach and you stand there thinking whaaaaaaaaaat? Mannnn, you’re not even in the arena how you gonna judge me. Some people shouldn’t even let out a whisper because the hypocrisy of their voice might just have lightning strike.

The judgement sucks especially when I’m already my harshest critic.

Writers. Artists, Athletes. Parents. People in general

We all have that extra sass in the back pocket just in case we didn’t feel bad enough about how the day was going, you got that zinger. That inner dialogue playing tricks on you when what you need is the strength of your inner superhero, sometimes he’s just stuck in the costume change.

You’re gonna need to wait a minute

So there were a lot of mixed feelings and emotional hangovers rolling over in the middle of the week. Got me thanking the universe for boxing and the sunshine on my back as I ran in the mornings. The pandemic minimizes the getaways, but a quick staycation would be good. Might have to plan another nature escape in order to recharge our batteries. Sometimes staring at your vision board isn’t enough, you got to make your own postcard. Even if it’s not pinned to the board, the trip will still be memorable and important for your sanity, because moving forward is a pace. Doesn’t have to be fast, just forward.

But until then, the eclectic bunch of feel good tunes got me bopping my head and feeling the beat, instead of focusing on the frustration of the moment. Releasing negative energy and breathing in something better, that’s Feel Good 5 Friday.

Buen Camino my friends!

Real World — Matchbox 20

Camisa Negra — Juanes

Keep Ya Head Up — 2 Pac

Some Nights — Fun

Born to be Alive — Patrick Hernandez

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Feel Good 5 Friday … On Saturday Night

Rebounding becomes difficult if you keep getting knocked down. But then there’s a little voice inside that keeps whispering … It’s only the fourth round. Those gloves are tight and they’re not coming off. So you get up a few more times and go.

You step up because you got no choice. You need to show up and change directions, change the flow, or time will keep wasting away like a never ending Groundhog Day.

The problem is that sometimes you have your walk-up-to-the-plate song. The warm-up song. The feel good song in the morning. And you only listen to it in the morning. You think you’re set for the rest of the day. Sometimes you are, but then there are those times you’re faced with situations you have no control over. Just random jerks right on your path, infesting your vibe and trying to drag you down.

It happens.

All it takes is a couple words. They may not be much, but the meaning and delivery gives you instant acid reflux and major side-eye as you try with every fiber of your being to Zen your way through it.

And when you can’t work out right there and then?

What do you do?

A middle of the day jam. That’s exactly what needs to happen in order to get you over some things. The one that puts those problems in the rear view mirror and you ain’t looking back. You looking ahead now, and that tune helps you get rid of that funk.

You hear it and you’re ready for the next round that life is about to throw at you.

Sometimes you need something with a beat late in the day to help you remember how you woke up this morning. You woke up ready to rise and shine.

Buen Camino …

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Roger & Zapp

One Way — Cutie Pie

Johnny Ventura — Patacon Pisao

Pointer Sisters — Jump

Diana Ross — Upside Down

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Feel Good 5 Friday … On a Saturday

So after a week of heaviness and hopelessness of a good person’s death the sun still came out, and there were blessings out there for some people. But not everybody.

And it reminded me of that Jimmy Stewart Christmas movie, and it’s funny because I don’t like watching it. In fact it’s on every Christmas but I don’t watch it. I think I only watched it once and that was enough for me. In any case, this whole scenario reminded me of that Potter guy and what an ass he was and how many Potter guys we have out there.

Stewart came out all right in the end, realizing his worth and everyone in his circle showing him so much love he felt rich in that way.

But that’s not enough in this situation. Karma’s slow and I need her to hurry up a bit. Until I can be more patient and funnel all that energy in a more positive direction, distraction is a good thing. Something uplifting and hopeful makes the present bearable.

So I watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix. Not the most positive step forward. But it was enlightening and I was super grateful that I am probably one of the few parents on Earth that doesn’t let her kid have a phone. My answer is usually, you’re not a doctor or a plumber, you’re not on call. I’m your personal Lyft/Uber driver so you got no use for a phone and if there’s an emergency use the house phone. When school was still in session I informed him he could use the school phone and that shouldn’t be a problem. Phones were intended to call people, but instead they’re a distraction. Pictures and posting.

He was not too thrilled with my response but understood.

The notions that are revealed in this docudrama are something I’ve been aware of, so it didn’t really surprise me. I’m not on social media that much either, so not participating in things of that nature isn’t really difficult for me. But I found it interesting that the kids were so addicted to these devices. But maybe it makes sense, since they were born into it. I mean even adults, there’s not a lot of social interaction, there wasn’t even before coronavirus. Many people were on the Facebook or Instagram, communicating that way, which is why I enjoy team sports or The Outdoors. Connection, live connection, is important and a lot of people are realizing that now.

And even though it was a good film it wasn’t the pep-me-up I was looking for to help turn the corner. But I was able to do a couple things to shake off a little funk.

After weeks of being on the injured list, I finally ventured out on a run this week and I can say that although I wasn’t at 100 percent, it still helped boost the good mood levels. The fact that the air quality was good enough to go outside was a bonus. Wild fires ravaging my neck of the woods provided an apocalyptical environment. But they’re getting through bit by bit. So that was something positive.

I was also able to catch a couple episodes of shows that made me laugh, learn, and feel good this week. I mean other than baseball rocking this unpredictable season, these TV shows provided a silver lining and lightness during a heavy week. Sometimes you need to hear other people’s stories to help you with your own. Food’s got a lot of good stories, from it’s origin all the way to the table. I find the food journey fascinating and delicious. Plus I discovered two comedies I never watched when they originally aired. Finding hidden gems late at night when you can’t really call anybody helps provide smiles that you need for a good night’s sleep. Hope you can find some this week!

Buen Camino, my friends!

Down to Earth with Zac Efron

Club de Cuervos (The Ballad of Hugo Sanchez)

Taco Chronicles

Community

The Chef Show

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Feel Good 5 Friday … On A Saturday Night

Sometimes the week’s or day’s events harden you a little bit more and even with a weary heart you go on and you find the softness in moments where you can find them, the kind that take you back and you can see yourself in the mirror again.

Sometimes it’s life during a pandemic, sometimes it happens even if the pandemic didn’t exist. Jobs you don’t like, moments you have to endure, or toxic people that still try to poison your well with their words or actions

Bit by bit, pieces chipped away and all you’re trying to do is get them back.

But you find moments of strength that help you endure. The ocean serves as a great salvation, as do morning hugs and laughter from my kids, early morning runs, or punching sessions with the MuayThai gloves. Laughter because of a good comedian makes you feeeeeeeeel yourself again. The smile that you saw in pictures way back, makes an appearance and a sigh of relief fills your chest.

But when I can’t get any of that and I’m feeling off, I put on the playlist. Sometimes it’s the slower tunes with deeper lyrics that get me to turn the corner.

They build.

And that helps reconstruct some of the pieces in you that felt broken. Zac Brown Band is always a go-to for me and never lets me down, with all the albums I own, he gets his feel good tunes any time of day. And the Brothers Osborne have that deep soothing voice and cool melody, I fell for this song and it caught my heart. Love the build. I flashed back to Los Angeles Azuuuuuuuuuules because they jam with other artists to make better sounds. My Blue-Eyed souls, the ones that bring it every time, my Hall & Oates, whose concert rocked epically, always get me with this song. And it’s a sad song, but it makes me feel better. Makes me feel. Just the sound of their voices. Bob Dylan’s son with his Wallflowers, when I hear this tune I need to stop and let it sink in. That opening and that vibe they got going, it reverberates and changes my frequency.

And that’s what needed.

These songs make me feel something different. Sometimes it’s a time machine sending me back to a moment or place that made me smile or feel good, sometimes it’s the they-probably-wrote-this-for-me reflection, and sometimes it’s the wishing part of the song, the one in the pocket between the chords, after the bridge that makes you feel connected.

I was in the midst of all that and it helped me breathe a little deeper. Feel-good vibes tingling my heart and building the part of me that’s important. Growing.

Buen Camino, my friends!

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Brothers Osborne — Stay A Little Longer

Zac Brown Band – Homegrown

Angeles Azules – Acariname

Wallflowers — One Headlight

Hall & Oates – She’s Gone

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Feel Good 5 Friday

Sometimes you just need soothing comfort of the cool side of the pillow. When you’ve hit a rocky patch and you’re trying to bounce back sometimes you need to slowly groove your way out.

In steps.

Not all at once.

But let the soul of their voices pick you up after you stumbled. Sometimes it’s the softness of it that makes you stronger, sometimes the sadness of it makes you feel like someone can relate and you nod your head in recognition.

Sometimes they just take you back in time and reliving that moment makes the one you’re going through more bearable. You know you can get through it, whatever moment you feel stuck in, you can get out of it.

I heard these tunes and they gave me comfort to get through and smile on the other side of it. They were definitely something to feel good about on Friday.

Buen Camino …

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Ooh Child — The Five Stairsteps

Bob Marley — Three Little Birds

Lean on Me — Bill Withers

Ana Gabriel– Simplemente Amigos

Whitney Houston — Exhale

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Too Many Words on Wednesday

I felt the weight of it.

Took 18 weeks, but I felt it.

The weariness of it.

After managing through distance learning with two kids and one computer, summer and the beginnings of a heat wave with no weekend beach trips, and the worst was yet to come. I felt the weight of it.

Coronavirus.

I’m not sick. I’m one of the lucky ones, but going through this finally got to me.

I was strong for about 18 weeks and just the foul mood of it all got to me and the day ended on a crappy note. I think it’s a matter of space. Being quarantined with your mother while trying to raise your kids and keep them on the positive tip, taxes every part of your being by dinner time. I have found that space is of the utmost importance.

Crucial.

Night time has become a welcomed friend to gather my thoughts or just rest from the anxiety of being with someone that’s not on the same page as you.

Yoga and meditation provide some needed Zen Moments when the goodness of the morning runs has worn off. But today it all got to me and I snapped. The headache came and my patience was lost as I yelled what all moms yell after a long day.

Go to bed!

And then some …

And so …

It was quiet and the guilt of yelling before bed hit me and of course I realized I needed more patience but had spent it all dealing with my mother and her ways.

So I remembered to breathe and allowed myself a little grace.

It was a rough beginning of the week, and it caught up with me on hump day.

Celebrating my daughter’s birthday, trying to find that special moment for her and all the vibrancy, creativeness, joy, and strength in her, while at the same time mourning my dad on the anniversary of his death makes for an epic emotional roller coaster weekend.

The mix of emotions spiraled.

And I knew it. I felt it.

I realized how fast my daughter was growing one day, trying to slow it down as I saw her smiling and how much I missed my father at the cemetery the next. Celebrating with S’mores Icebox cake, tide pool discoveries, unwrapping paints, canvases, sketch pads and a new bicycle with welcomed happiness and laughter one day, and then tears, heartbreak, and childhood memories the next.

Missing him on days like that weaken my spirit.

And then I realized why I snapped …

I know the days are one after the other. They’ve always been that way and I prepare myself but it just hit extra harder this year.

Having no space of my own makes an impact on emotional well-being.

But I was able to revisit a place that helped me find some Zen, some place to breathe.

Gonna be able to reset and do better tomorrow. Hope you do too.

Buen Camino my friends!

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Recovery Mode

I knew exactly what he meant … it clicked without having to wait that moment that thoughts need to take in order to register.

It was instant.

I had it.

“We recover the person we were intended to be … ” Russel Brand.

Nuggets of enlightenment just headed my way through the airwaves of a random podcast and knowledge being dropped by an unexpected dude. I’m not a huge fan but I thought Forgetting Sarah Marshall was pretty funny. Other than that I didn’t really  know much. I don’t pay much attention to celebrity gossip. That kind of useless stuff irritates me. So when I heard this life quote I stopped and had to listen to the rest. This was going to be about substance, not fluff.

The topic was addiction but the information was about life.

I was glad to have found it.

I needed that little push.

You see, these multiple sabbaticals during the last couple of months bring about different perspectives on creativity. I mean after a crazy number of rejections in such a short amount of time a moment of unintended pause takes place. Weariness begins to sit heavy on my mind when thinking about pushing forward on this yellow-brick road and wondering about the journey.

But when I wake up in the morning I think … I have another day, another chance. I just have to find strength to push passed the tiredness. Everyone stumbles, Just have to hit that reset button and remember that I woke up with purpose, and not on accident as Mr. Thomas once said. And then I wake up knowing I’ll recover. I’ll recover.

And so remembering that conversation with Brand and his story about the seed stuck with me the entire day. You see, the seed has an intention and destiny to grow into a tree but it may be impeded by constraints or bad circumstances, whatever they may be, preventing it from becoming what it was intended to be … but that doesn’t have to happen to you.

That reminder came at a most needed time.

And so I held onto it and thought I’d spread the information just in case there was someone else out there stuck in a moment they couldn’t get out of … just stuck.

There’s a way to recover.

There’s a way to return to the person we intended to be … one step at a time.

🙂

 

Buen Camino my friends!

 

 

Mixed Tape Moments

I’m getting the hang of these moments … you know the ones you want to capture … like an awesome mixed tape. I found me some this week, just hanging out with my kids and going on our little day adventures.

I’ve made it a habit to stop time and just appreciate the little moment on the couch during movie night, or reading the newest title from the library, or laying in bed in the dark and just feeling the cool side of the pillow on my face and being thankful for the comfort it brings me.

With everyone I know having so much success in their life, and having all the dots connect, I’ve learned not to pay attention to their race or their place in it. I’m happy for them, but I’ve finally learned that I’m running on a different course, so I shouldn’t feel less because my I’m still walking the trail, while they’re at the finish line. I learned to pick up the moments. And I learned that everyday has some, I just have to remember to catch them. That’s what’s gonna mess me up. Paying attention to others and not catching my own moments can spiral into a crappy day.

But I think I’m getting the hang of it.

Just this week I caught one. Hanging out in the Great Outdoors and I just looked up and caught it. I snapped the shot and thought … yeah … this moment deserves it’s own mixed tape.

I looked up from the cave and it just stood there.

The possibility.

The twists and turns of the day. The moment where everything can get sidetracked or move a step in the right direction. It stood there. The possibility.

The someday.

That someday was caught, and I caught it. Someday thoughts are what make memorable moments. Someday thoughts are the springboards of dreams. Someday moments light a fire under you so that you can start chasing it, and then it no longer becomes someday because you catch up to it and it becomes today.

The someday I found. I captured it.

I marked it with a picture on my broken down iPhone 0 and remembered. I may not have the house. I may not have the corner office with an assistant outside my door. I may not have pictures posted on a Facebook feed detailing the awesomeness of my universe and all its adventures. But I got the substance of a good life, the kind that deserves a mixed tape.

Buen Camino, my friends …

 

 

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Writer Wednesdays on a Monday: Turning Things Around

It’s like hearing that song on the radio and you just stop because you feeeeeeeeeel the lyric.  You feel George Harrison. You feel Mavis Staples. You feel Springsteen. You feel Hall and Oates. You feel Phil Collins. You feel Chris Stapleton. You feel Juan Gabriel. You feel Ana Gabriel. You feel Katrina and The Waves.

It is in you. You feel like it was written just for you, and you sit there in your car at the stop light listening.

Them words.

You think to yourself, maaaaaaaan. They got this one right. The lyric, combined with the music. They got this one.

Then you go back to your keyboard, inspired, hoping that you can put something like that on the page. You want to make someone laugh, smile, feel your heart through your characters. And sometimes it happens … other times … you fail miserably because you just can’t get it. It’s not there. You thought you had it with all that inspiration jazzing you up, but then you lost it because of a phone call, bad memory, or wasted time. Lack of discipline attacks you on Wednesday after you had the umph to get you through Monday and Tuesday.

Burn.

I hate it when that happens.

So how is it that I try to turn things around? Especially on a Monday?

I try to remember that waking up wasn’t an accident. It was on purpose, for something bigger than just fixing lunches, dropping off kids, and racing through traffic. There has to be more that I leave my kids than memories.

Pieces of me in my writing out there for them to read and get. Whether on my laptop, in my notebooks, posts, or published writings. Something of me is out there for them to see, to get, that I’m on the star map chasing the Milky Way and hoping I land.

So when I feel like dropping it because I’ve dropped the ball as a writer and haven’t found the nooks and crannies of time to write every day, I remember not everybody is on the same ride. I’ve got all kinds of detours and stops on mine. It may take a little longer, but I’ll get there. As long as I don’t give up.

So I don’t.

I get the Andre Agassi in me … ready to make a comeback.

It’s bigger than me. That’s what I think … I can’t walk around six months from now and still be in the same spot, because it’s bigger than me. I’ve got my Zen back and it took me a loooooooooooonnnnnng time to rework my magic with this crazy environment and lack of support, with the failing of my awesome play earlier this year. I thought things would spark after that. It took a while to find my center … a lot of podcasts.

But I found it.

I woke up and remembered … waking up was not an accident. Turn the corner.

Buen Camino my friends.

 

 

IWSG