Up A Notch

24 Jan

Ever feel like you’re failing every day? Trying to catch up with what ever it is that you do in life only to realize that you’ve gone only from an F to an F+?

For me that’s parenthood. Well at least, right now. It’s normal, I deal with it. I mean I’m not one of those baby mafia moms that go to the sandbox in their Gucci sunglasses, $1000-diaper bags, and fashion ensembles that make it look like they’re going clubbing. They sit there in their little pack chit-chatting about how their child was potty trained at 12 months, painted a masterpiece, is already reading at first-grade level, and never misbehaves when they know damn well that he’s the kid eating the sand and having tantrums in the car.

Needless to say that isn’t me. I’m up in the sandbox playing with bulldozers and catching my son as he whooshes down the slide. He wasn’t potty trained at 12 months, he paints blobs, he reads at his regular Cat-in-the-Hat level and has attitude. Plenty. I’ve got no shame. When something is wrong, something is wrong. Things suck sometimes when you’re a parent. But I realized that they suck only because you’re trying to do the best. Anyone can be a parent, but it takes sleepless nights, extra patience, wisdom, common sense, and a whole lot of heart and effort to be a good parent. Well … that alcohol and the “bad-assness” of Jack Bauer. Same philosophy applies in my writing career.

But just when you think you’ve fallen through the grading curve. Something awesome happens and it pushes you up a notch. You get the “+”.

I used to be the crazy mom…well not crazy like reality TV crazy, but crazy in the sense that I used to call my son’s preschool teacher every day until he was fully transitioned. It’s heartbreaking to leave your kid for the first time, so as a mom there I was delaying my departure and arriving earlier than usual for pickup and calling the teacher everyday just to see how long it was before he stopped crying. Enfadosa, my  mom would say.

Aren’t you worried that they’ll think you’re crazy? But there’s the thing. I don’t hide it. I’m not ashamed. I am enfadosa when it came to my kid. And I’ve accepted it. It’s like rehab … you’re only successful if you realize that you can’t change yourself. You change your habits, but you just have to accept who you are.  I know … pretty deep, but I can’t take credit for that. I saw that on a Breaking Bad episode. AMC…pretty awesome.

So, anyhow in my crazy acceptance as an enfadosa mom when my kid started school, I picked up some of his artwork, blobs and all, and asked him: What is this?

 His response…

“That’s me. That’s you mom. That’s the phone.  Teacher say you call me everyday. Friends call each other and say hello. You my best friend. You say hello all the time.”

 Ohhhhhhhhhh. I’m up a notch.

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One Response to “Up A Notch”

  1. Piedad January 29, 2012 at 1:25 PM #

    This made me cry, probably b/c I can relate. When it comes to your kids being a litlle crazy n enfadosa is OK 🙂

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