Tag Archives: SOA

At The End Of The Final Ride It Was Fan vs. Writer

10 Dec

Have you ever killed somebody and then regretted it later?

I mean you planned it for days, weeks … dude even months carrying out all the details, envisioning out all the scenarios, and trying to answer all the what-ifs in your mind. Trying to make the perfect plan.

And then you do it … it’s done.

At first you feel great about it … it had to be done, there’s no other way. But then something tugs at your heart, and it sits heavy on your chest. You begin second guessing yourself wondering, did that have to happen?

Yeah writers got problems.

As a writer I know where the story has to go and what the characters have to do in order to stay true to the life of the story, I know it. But sometimes the emotion of the fan inside me gets in the way and I struggle. But this tends to happen more while reading or watching someone else’s story, and not so much when it’s my own.

This is what happened last night during the two-hour series finale of the most dramatically intense Emmy-and-Golden-Globe-worthy show I’ve ever seen. But they have yet to receive one. It’s like that one great player that never got the championship ring.

Sons of Anarchy ended last night and I can’t even begin to tell you about how the finale made the fan and writer inside me feel. It was a a battle. Had that same feeling of mourning I did with the The Wire, Breaking Bad, LOST, 24, and Friday Night Lights.

Dude … if you haven’t caught up with all the Anarchy then you best stop reading …

“I’m sorry, JT. It was too late for me. I was already inside it. And Gemma … she had plans. But it’s not too late for my boys. I promise, they will never know this life. I understand who you are now. What you did. I love you, dad.” — Jax Teller

 

 

Did our hero have to die?

Yeah, I guess he did.

 

Kurt Sutter

Kurt Sutter

In true form, writing genius and creator Kurt Sutter had to keep the story honest, so yeah I guess Jax did have to end it. Jax arrived at the same crossroads his father, John Teller had come to years earlier. Only this time Jax was going to get it right.

“I realized a good father and a good outlaw can’t settle inside the same man.” — Jax Teller

 

The fan inside me was hoping there would be another way to keep him riding all the way until the end, just like I had wished for his best friend Opie and his wife Tara.

 

 

I was rooting for it. You know me, I love the underdog story. But the writer inside me knew the tougher choice needed to be made and the series had to end with his death. It was for the sake of the story. There was no other ending that seemed right and with that heartbreak came and engulfed me.

So with this crisis and epic sadness over the end of my favorite show and the death of Jax Teller, I began to wonder if other writers had the same issue. Do you ever struggle with that or is it just when watching other stories unfold?

Undergoing the loss of a character is a tough thing for both the fan and the writer in me, because he wasn’t just black and white. He was layered with complexities just like us … he was a good man within the criminal world. He was the good, the bad, and at times the ugly. But in the end he went out like a hero and made the ultimate sacrifice for his boys and for his club.

And even though I knew it was going to happen the fan in me hoped that it wouldn’t. But the writer understood and sadly I’m still all tore up over it. It was one hell of a final ride.

Don’t think I have enough chocolate for this one.

 

Advertisements

Brace Yourselves … The End of Teller Tuesdays is Near

8 Dec

Dear Jax,

I can’t even …I mean I can’t.

This is definitely a Holy Crap moment.

I can’t believe it’s here. I just can’t. I mean part of me is in denial about the whole thing. I know it’s real I know it’s gonna happen and I know I’m gonna have a difficult time letting go.

But I’ve got to … there’s just no other way

You have been in my life for seven years. It’s been seven years … seven … and now things are coming to an end and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m excited about what’s to come, but feeling the anxiety of knowing it’s the end.

I’m riding an emotional roller coaster on a Harley.

I’m in midst of mourning the loss of this relationship and coming to the realization that you will no longer be in my life on a weekly basis.

I feel like all the good men in my life have left me.

I didn’t know what to do without Tony. I knew I’d miss Tommy. I mean I was at a loss with Jack. Devastated with losing Jesse and Walter. And now it’s you … I have to say good-bye to you. I knew you’d be a heart breaker the moment I saw you.

You were the dangerous, charming and gentle-hearted type of outlaw.

I knew you were walking the line, but I still fell for you. Your heart was in a good place, you were suffering from the hero’s complex, always trying to do right, but being pulled in all kinds of directions so the wrong eventually surfaced. I’m gonna miss being in your life, hearing your thoughts, and riding this final journey with you.

Some of the best parts of being on this final ride with you were listening to the deepest thoughts from the most complicated part of your soul, reading your father’s letters and manuscript, watching your relationship with Tara, seeing your brotherhood with Opie and Chibs get stronger, realizing that we both liked and hated your crazy mother, and rooting for you to succeed as a family man … but most of all it was the drama. The intense blow-my-mind-I-need-a-defibrillator-because-my-heart-couldn’t-take-it-anymore kind of drama pulled me in every week. You pulled me in …

Your story Jax.

It was your story that drew me in and for that I suppose I have to thank the genius behind you Kurt Sutter.

But now it ends.

Tomorrow is the BIG day. Tomorrow at 10 o’clock on FX Network I will be anxiously and nervously awaiting the end of your story … the end of my beloved Sons of Anarchy A.K.A. SAMCRO. I am happy to see how it will end, but saddened to realize that it has an end.

Tomorrow there will no longer be Teller Tuesdays … just Tuesdays. Brace yourselves, I know I’ll have to because I can guarantee you that it will feel empty and it will suck, that’s the feeling of knowing you won’t be there. That’s how it’s gonna feel.

Am I being a little dramatic?

No, not really. Not if you’re a fan like me.

I was glad to have known you. You’ve kept me company every Tuesday night for the past seven years.

Teller Tuesdays … they’ve been an awesome ride.

How Do You Get Over It?

6 Nov

I’m in recovery mode.

It took 48 hours to get through this, I mean I’m still getting through it. I’m still in disbelief even though I saw it coming, I’m in denial because it was so shocking and it hurt. For a minute I thought, maybe. I was so invested, I really thought he would make it to the end.

But I should have known.

The almighty writing genius Kurt Sutter from Sons of Anarchy had other plans.

He broke my heart … again. Just when I thought I recovered from Opie and Tara’s gruesome deaths he killed off another of my favorites. I guess I knew he wasn’t coming back after Moses took his eye out.

 

Rest In Peace...

Rest In Peace…

 

So I sat there in the dark of Daylight Savings Time as the credits rolled wondering why the hell he keeps killing off all these great characters, but leaves these twisted sociopaths in excellent health. Then I realized … their death will be epic, of the I-can’t-even category. But still does that justify the utter devastation that me and the rest of the Samcro faithful feel?

No.

I’d still like to see Opie, Tara, and Bobby Elvis.

I was rooting for them, I’m a lover of the underdog stories so when they kill my character and the future storyline I’d imagined I’m in need of a moment.

So with all my TV watching experience, how do I continually get over the death of beloved characters? How do I get over it?

Well … sometimes I don’t. I remain angry and hurt for weeks. I get so attached to these people because they’ve become people to me. It’s the writer in me, I get so attached to their story and their journey. It sucks when it ends in an untimely manner.

Sometimes the death is so shocking, like when they shot JR and you thought he was dead, that you can barely function the next day. These cliffhanger moments cause chest pains, anxiety attacks and bouts of profanity, which is probably why I enjoy watching Netflix because I can binge watch and find out what happens on my own timeline.

But heroes still die on Netflix.

So what do you do?

Recovery takes a while, it always does.

I’ve seen 24, LOST, The Sopranos, The Wire, and The Shield where some my favorites didn’t quite make it to the end, and it helps if you have a buddy. The mourning period goes by quicker because you have someone who gets it. My Dad was my buddy.

My Dad was around back then and I was able to go through this with my TV-watching-partner-in-crime buddy. We’d have never-ending panel discussion for days and share our best moments of the season. It was awesome. Unfortunately I’m flying solo in my epic television adventures and only have one other friend to discuss these Holy-Crap Sons of Anarchy moments, but she lives like two hours away. So we send text messages to each other.

Text messages are good but I wish she lived closer, and since I don’t have an actual Sons of Anarchy cohort, I remain at a loss and wishing that Sutter never ended Bobby’s journey. I hope for revenge a lot.

 

Jax Teller

Jax Teller

 

Revenge is a good thing and I hope it comes for Jax. I’m waiting for it.

If that doesn’t pan out, chocolate works wonders. Chocolate and profanity.

 

 

 

The Final Ride … I’m All In Favor For Revenge

8 Sep

 

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude.

I can’t even tell you …

I can’t even.

Am I ready?

Am I ready!

Dude.

I’ve been ready since the end of last season.

I’ve been living in shock.

I’ve been wallowing in heartbreak.

The death of my poor Tara, and not just any death, but a violent one at the hands of crazy Gemma.

The death of happily ever after for Jax and Tara.

The death of the truth behind his father’s murder.

The death of a future for his sons, Abel and Thomas.

The birth of more lies.

But hopefully it’s also the birth of revenge.

I’m waiting.

I’ve been waiting.

Patiently.

I know people say you should always take the higher ground, but being that it’s the final season, I’m all in favor of revenge.

Revenge is a good thing, especially when your mom is Gemma … she deserves to go down.

Kurt, are you listening?

Sutter!

You keep killing people who don’t need to die.

First Donna

Then Piney.

Then Opie.

Then Tara.

Dude.

I damn near lost it with Opie.

And my heart broke with Tara.

Dude.

You need to rectify the situation.

It’s Gemma’s time.

And I’ll be watching … closely.

The Final Ride starts Tuesday.

9/9

I’ll be watching.

Nobody better call me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It Broke My Heart … And I Forgot to Check My Crazy at The Door

11 Dec

HOLY CRAP!

The night was filled with profanity and disbelief. The unexpected happened, but in retrospect I should’ve known he was going to rip my heart out.

There I was six years ago minding my own business, when a friend calls me and says you should really watch this new show. I’m totally into it. They’re doing a marathon on account of the season finale.

And there it was … that’s where it began. I blame Michelle for this state I’m in. She turned me into a Sons of Anarchy junkie, where apparently no one is ever safe in the city of Charming.

Image via  Fxnetworks.com/soa

Image via FXNetworks.com/soa

It’s been six years and I can’t stop the surprises from blowing my mind.

Usually I can see things coming, but this totally broke my heart and left me in my I-can’t-believe-this-just-happened state of mind. I couldn’t even sleep thinking about it.

He killed her. He totally killed her off and he broke my heart in the process.

In one of the best season finales I’ve seen, Son’s of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter kills off Doctor Tara Knowles: Jax Teller‘s wife, his old lady, the love of his life, the mother of his two kids, and the moral compass to his being.

 FXNetworks.com/soa

Image via FXNetworks.com/soa

Who does that? Who kills off someone so important to the main character?

Who leaves two little boys alone with the possibility of a junkie ex-girlfriend or murdering grandma vying for guardianship?

Who?

Who makes you believe that Jax will own up and protect his family at all costs, only to be betrayed by his own mother?

Who?

Sutter.

You bastard.

I used to think he was a writing genius, but now I think he’s just a crazy madman toying with my emotions and breaking my heart at the end of every season. First it was Opie, Jax’s best friend and right-hand man, who was literally beaten to death in front of his eyes. I thought dude … did that just happen? How the hell is Jax going to recover from that? It took me a while to mourn that loss. And now this?

Dude I am heavily wrapped in Sons of Anarchy drama. Complete geek.  Although, I don’t even know if I can say geek when referring to an outlaw motorcycle club show, but in essence, that’s who I am … I’ve turned into one of those Star Trek Super Crazed Fans that know the Spock language and is completely obsessed with the Enterprise. That’s me … however instead of polyester space suits and pointy ears my obsession revolves around motorcycles, black leather, and murder.

There have only been a few shows that get me to a state of craziness like this … LOST, 24, The X-Files, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos. They consume me and  I get so emotionally involved that if I saw one the actors out in the open I would totally jaywalk across congested life-and-death traffic and scale a 20-foot fence just to say how much I love them, but I’d do my best not to come off stalker like.

Realistically it doesn’t make sense for me to get all crazy hostile over Tara’s unexpected departure, but I loved this character. She was a strong woman with flaws and depth. I loved watching her and Jax on-screen.

Poor Tara, she was trying to do the right thing and ended up getting stabbed to death by Jax’s manipulative and controlling mother, Gemma, who escapes without Jax knowing. But of course Tara had to die, she knew all the secrets, including the fact that Gemma also had a hand in killing Jax’s real father, John.  However at least she got to speak her truth about their relationship and Jax spoke his, and they reconnected. At least Jax stepped up and chose her over the club, something I thought would not happen.

“You’re a husband … and a father … and a man before all of this. Own your place.”

Image via FXNetworks.com/SOA

Image via FXNetworks.com/SOA

And Jax did. He did. He listened to prosecutor Patterson. And I was left hopeful … but I should have known. Hope gets shot in Charming.

I was left stunned. In the end, Jax was left finding Tara’s body on the kitchen floor, next to the dead sheriff who was trying to protect her.

Dude I don’t know if I can handle much more, Sutter.

Can I see Karma catching up to Gemma in Season 7?

Dude.

Can I?

Can I see Jax fulfill Tara’s wishes and get his family out of Charming and away from crazy Gemma?

Image via FXNetworks.com/SOA

Image via FXNetworks.com/SOA

Can I?

Considering that Opie’s wife was also killed because of SOA Club drama, can I see Jax’s fate or path being different from Opie’s?

Can I?

You’re killing me, Sutter. Killing me.

For six seasons I’ve been loyal, totally sucked into this biker world with plenty of Holy-Crap moments. However, this one tops the list. I mean if I had a support system, maybe I wouldn’t have been so devastated. But there I was, freaking out on the couch, by myself with no Sons of Anarchy after-the-show-I’ll-comfort-you-this-actually-didn’t-happen group. Just me and some chocolate.

And the show’s message boards.

Yeah … it got so crazy that I went online to the social media world I dislike so much and hit the message boards.

Has that ever happened to you? Where you’re a normal person but turned into a crazed fan?

Yeah that’s what broken hearts do. We forget to check our crazy at the door.

 

The Women of SOA … Are You Tara or Gemma?

11 Sep

I thought I was having a bad week, but being in prison and thinking your mother-in-law put you there … yeah that seems to raise it up a level.

Tara Knowles-Teller … Jax Teller‘s old lady.

Image via TVNetworks.com/SOA

Image via TVNetworks.com/SOA

For months, I’ve been dying to find out what the hell happened on Sons of Anarchy. I’ve been counting down for the awesome SOA party premiere … Guat Party of One. And I rocked it with my pot roast and baked potatoes. Food-Network worthy for sure.

But aside from my awesome spread, the show itself had me. It got me. I didn’t need ambiance to appreciate it, the love just grows as you watch and get attached to the lives of these people, because they change. They’re no longer characters … they’re people.

And even though I love looking at Jax (the amazing Charlie Hunnam), and hearing his awesome internal dialogue, which shares wisdom necessary to life as you know it, I was more interested in the women’s story line.

These are strong women.

Fierce.

Image via FXNetworks.com/SOA

Image via FXNetworks.com/SOA

Granted one is a crazy. Gemma, the mother-in-law who lies and manipulates her son and others in order to gain some sort of influence within the biker club. There is nothing this lady won’t do to keep her family close. And even though she’s crazy, I think that crazy suits her. The crazy comes from a weird caring, and loving place.

And she makes no apologies for her means to an end. Gemma is the matriarch that keeps them together, that’s how she envisions herself. She’s a woman of authority and respect. And the strength that comes from that doesn’t even have to come through violence, or threatening words, although for Gemma they do. However it’s her demeanor, her style, that is it strong and the love for her family only strengthens her resolve.

But we don’t all want to be the crazy kind of strong. We want other kinds. Sometimes the Tara kind.

Tara … she fell in love with Jax, her high-school flame and now president of SOA. And I loved the line from the Season 5 finale where she told Jax that part of being his old lady meant being strong when he wasn’t, and being able to make decisions that he couldn’t or wouldn’t do. Being able to recognize that characteristic put her on another level.

I liked that because she was right. I liked that even during rough circumstances, she knew the conversation with Jax was going to be uncomfortable, but she had it anyway. She stood her ground ready to take the kids and leave the biker town of Charming. She sensed that the cycle may start repeating itself, so she took a stand. Granted she was arrested right after that, but we all know she didn’t commit any kind of conspiracy to commit murder. And that whole lingering thought that Gemma made that happen definitely had my wheels spinning. Might have been the crazy strong driving her. But of course we find out who was really behind her arrest in the Season 6 premiere and all you can say is ‘Holy Crap!’

I admire that not all chicks on this show are weaker than their male counterparts. I enjoy that both of the female leads are badasses in their own way.

But I’d probably prefer Tara’s type of strength. It’s strong, vulnerable and smart. Although when life happens you really need your crazy Gemma strength on speed dial.

SOA Causes My Holy Crap State of Mind

6 Dec

There aren’t many things that leave me speechless. But this one … dude … this one had me taking a moment of silence. I couldn’t believe it.  There I was at 12:47 a.m. sitting in the dark, in complete disbelief of what had happened.

Just when I thought that the creator of Sons of Anarchy couldn’t outdo himself with more twists and turns, he did. Kurt Sutter … he went to a whole new level with the season finale on Tuesday night.

I mean during the season I thought I had seen everything when Opie, Jax’s best friend and one of the most integral members of the club and of his life, was beaten to death with a lead pipe in prison. I mean I was in total shock on that one. How could they kill Opie? Opie! I was angry for like two weeks and in disbelief for the rest of season.

I thought that was everything … but no it wasn’t. Sutter did not color within the lines. He went way above and beyond that.

Arrested. Can you believe it? I couldn’t. Mother of two arrested for conspiracy to commit murder, and she was innocent.

Image via FXnetwork.com/SOA

Image via FXnetwork.com/SOA

And Jax? He just stood there as they took Tara away. Then his crazy mother, Gemma, who’s got this sick kind of Gertrude-Hamlet love for him, comes swooshing in to help “take care” of her family — take care of “her boys”.

Fade to black.

That was the final scene.

Dude.

All Tara wanted to do was get her family out of “the life,”  but crazy Gemma wouldn’t let it happen. Talk about having issues with your mother-in-law.

The drama of Sons of Anarchy continues to amaze me.  For those of you that don’t know the show revolves around a motorcycle club, who resides in the city of Charming. It chronicles the internal struggle for power to lead the club in the right direction, and the family battles that come with balancing what’s good for the club and what’s good for a family.

Image via FXNetwork.com/SOA

Image via FXNetwork.com/SOA

And once again I was part of the masses … the 4 million and change that tuned into watch the intense motorcycle gang family drama season finale on FX. It had me in a daze, in awe, and in an extended holy crap state of mind the entire night. I mean I didn’t even eat my chocolate. It was that serious.

The sad part was that I couldn’t even talk to anybody about it. No one was around at 12:47 a.m. I couldn’t really call anybody and say… did you watch that? Did you see that? What the hell? There was no can-you-believe-that-happened conversation, which I needed desperately. I was so juiced up from the show that I couldn’t fall asleep. And seeing that I have two kids that run me ragged all day, sleeping is never an issue for me. Ever. But I did Tuesday night. I had all these thoughts and what-if scenarios in my head that kept my writer brain excited all night. I paid for it when I had to wake up early the next morning. Sleep is precious to me, but I forgive you Kurt Sutter. I forgive you for taking that way.

But only because you’re amazing. And only because you have the power to bring Tara back on a mission for revenge.

So what happens now?

Now … now I just wait for season six.