Brace Yourselves … The End of Teller Tuesdays is Near

Dear Jax,

I can’t even …I mean I can’t.

This is definitely a Holy Crap moment.

I can’t believe it’s here. I just can’t. I mean part of me is in denial about the whole thing. I know it’s real I know it’s gonna happen and I know I’m gonna have a difficult time letting go.

But I’ve got to … there’s just no other way

You have been in my life for seven years. It’s been seven years … seven … and now things are coming to an end and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m excited about what’s to come, but feeling the anxiety of knowing it’s the end.

I’m riding an emotional roller coaster on a Harley.

I’m in midst of mourning the loss of this relationship and coming to the realization that you will no longer be in my life on a weekly basis.

I feel like all the good men in my life have left me.

I didn’t know what to do without Tony. I knew I’d miss Tommy. I mean I was at a loss with Jack. Devastated with losing Jesse and Walter. And now it’s you … I have to say good-bye to you. I knew you’d be a heart breaker the moment I saw you.

You were the dangerous, charming and gentle-hearted type of outlaw.

SOA Season 1

SOA Season 2

SOA Season 3

SOA Season 4

SOA Season 5

SOA Season 7

I knew you were walking the line, but I still fell for you. Your heart was in a good place, you were suffering from the hero’s complex, always trying to do right, but being pulled in all kinds of directions so the wrong eventually surfaced. I’m gonna miss being in your life, hearing your thoughts, and riding this final journey with you.

Some of the best parts of being on this final ride with you were listening to the deepest thoughts from the most complicated part of your soul, reading your father’s letters and manuscript, watching your relationship with Tara, seeing your brotherhood with Opie and Chibs get stronger, realizing that we both liked and hated your crazy mother, and rooting for you to succeed as a family man … but most of all it was the drama. The intense blow-my-mind-I-need-a-defibrillator-because-my-heart-couldn’t-take-it-anymore kind of drama pulled me in every week. You pulled me in …

Your story Jax.

It was your story that drew me in and for that I suppose I have to thank the genius behind you Kurt Sutter.

But now it ends.

Tomorrow is the BIG day. Tomorrow at 10 o’clock on FX Network I will be anxiously and nervously awaiting the end of your story … the end of my beloved Sons of Anarchy A.K.A. SAMCRO. I am happy to see how it will end, but saddened to realize that it has an end.

Tomorrow there will no longer be Teller Tuesdays … just Tuesdays. Brace yourselves, I know I’ll have to because I can guarantee you that it will feel empty and it will suck, that’s the feeling of knowing you won’t be there. That’s how it’s gonna feel.

Am I being a little dramatic?

No, not really. Not if you’re a fan like me.

I was glad to have known you. You’ve kept me company every Tuesday night for the past seven years.

Teller Tuesdays … they’ve been an awesome ride.

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How Do You Get Over It?

I’m in recovery mode.

It took 48 hours to get through this, I mean I’m still getting through it. I’m still in disbelief even though I saw it coming, I’m in denial because it was so shocking and it hurt. For a minute I thought, maybe. I was so invested, I really thought he would make it to the end.

But I should have known.

The almighty writing genius Kurt Sutter from Sons of Anarchy had other plans.

He broke my heart … again. Just when I thought I recovered from Opie and Tara’s gruesome deaths he killed off another of my favorites. I guess I knew he wasn’t coming back after Moses took his eye out.

 

Rest In Peace…

 

So I sat there in the dark of Daylight Savings Time as the credits rolled wondering why the hell he keeps killing off all these great characters, but leaves these twisted sociopaths in excellent health. Then I realized … their death will be epic, of the I-can’t-even category. But still does that justify the utter devastation that me and the rest of the Samcro faithful feel?

No.

I’d still like to see Opie, Tara, and Bobby Elvis.

I was rooting for them, I’m a lover of the underdog stories so when they kill my character and the future storyline I’d imagined I’m in need of a moment.

So with all my TV watching experience, how do I continually get over the death of beloved characters? How do I get over it?

Well … sometimes I don’t. I remain angry and hurt for weeks. I get so attached to these people because they’ve become people to me. It’s the writer in me, I get so attached to their story and their journey. It sucks when it ends in an untimely manner.

Sometimes the death is so shocking, like when they shot JR and you thought he was dead, that you can barely function the next day. These cliffhanger moments cause chest pains, anxiety attacks and bouts of profanity, which is probably why I enjoy watching Netflix because I can binge watch and find out what happens on my own timeline.

But heroes still die on Netflix.

So what do you do?

Recovery takes a while, it always does.

I’ve seen 24, LOST, The Sopranos, The Wire, and The Shield where some my favorites didn’t quite make it to the end, and it helps if you have a buddy. The mourning period goes by quicker because you have someone who gets it. My Dad was my buddy.

My Dad was around back then and I was able to go through this with my TV-watching-partner-in-crime buddy. We’d have never-ending panel discussion for days and share our best moments of the season. It was awesome. Unfortunately I’m flying solo in my epic television adventures and only have one other friend to discuss these Holy-Crap Sons of Anarchy moments, but she lives like two hours away. So we send text messages to each other.

Text messages are good but I wish she lived closer, and since I don’t have an actual Sons of Anarchy cohort, I remain at a loss and wishing that Sutter never ended Bobby’s journey. I hope for revenge a lot.

 

Jax Teller

 

Revenge is a good thing and I hope it comes for Jax. I’m waiting for it.

If that doesn’t pan out, chocolate works wonders. Chocolate and profanity.

 

 

 

It’s The Reason Why I Watch The FX Network

I don’t consider myself a biker chick. I don’t own a leather vest or leather chaps. I don’t own anything Harley-Davidson related. I have no tattoos. But I am a SAMCRO follower. I’ve been there since the beginning.

Image via FXNetworks.com

I hear the guitar strum … then my heart beats, and I nod my head in rhythm …

Riding through this world
All alone
God takes your soul
You’re on your own
The crow flies straight
A perfect line
On the devil’s bed
Until you die
Gotta look this life
In the eye …

Me … the sporty nerd was part of the masses. I was one of the 5.4 million viewers that tuned in this week to watch the season premiere of  Sons Of Anarchy.

Charlie Hunnam … dude.  Charlie. I took no phone calls. I turned off the computer. Made sure the kids were asleep by eight-thirty and then I ignored everybody in the household. It was SAMCRO time.

Image via FXNetworks.com

I wasn’t with my feet up, relaxing on the couch. I was on full edge of the couch alert mode, completely engaged in all the drama and action.

Why is it that I found myself completely ignoring the what’s-for-dinner question? I mean other than Charlie Hunnam … dude … Charlie. Hmmmmmm. He plays Jax Teller. Hmmmm. Jax Teller. No it wasn’t only the hot dude. It was  his opening monologue.

“Finding things that make you happy shouldn’t be that hard … There’s an old saying ‘that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, I don’t believe that. I think the things that try to kill you make you angry and sad. Strength comes from the good things. Your family. Your friends. The satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that will keep you whole. Those are the things you hold onto when you’re broken.”

Who does that? Who writes nitty-gritty awesome life advice like that? A genius.  A genius with a beard. Kurt Sutter.

If you haven’t watched the show … it’s O.K. I forgive you. They’ve got Hulu and Netflix now. You can catch up. But in short … it’s about an outlaw motorcycle club  in the city of Charming, California and their struggle to protect their club’s existence and semi-peaceful way of life. It’s got drama, violence, dark humor, and motorcycle stuff. It’s also got my undivided attention every Tuesday night.

Jax Teller is trying so hard to do the right thing, leave the motorcycle club, and make a new life with his family far away. But the drama, the past, the ties to his father who was an original member of the club, the revenge for his father’s death, the feud with his step-father who’s also a club member — a sneaky one, and his controlling mom whose all up in the club’s business,  keeps pulling him back in.

All this keeps me coming back every season.

I like watching Jax Teller’s inner conflict surface. Not because I enjoy people’s troubles but because he’s genuinely a good guy with a pure heart in an outlaw world, living by a code and trying to do what’s right for everyone.  He’s trying to stick to his father’s manifesto and bring the club back to a good place, but conflict arises and he tries his best to deal with it. He’s just like everyone else on earth … conflicted … except everyone else isn’t the president of an outlaw motorcycle club.

I was glued to the television this week, and will probably do so the entire season. So if it’s Tuesday night you’ll know where I’ll be … sitting on the edge of my couch along with the other 5.4 million people who watch.

Dude. FX rocks.