Tag Archives: not getting invited

Awkward moments

7 Jul

It wasn’t really awkward for me, but I guess she felt bad.

When you hang with a crowd, it’s logical to grow apart as everyone does their family thing. But you still get together and invite each other for birthdays and other special occasions.

I have a friend that sort of drifted off the planet and just recently began calling me again, wanting to reconnect. Her schedule has been pretty hectic so apparently she thought it would be a good idea for both of us to carpool to a baby shower that they were having for a mutual friend of ours.

She sent me this long text message that took about three screens. She mentioned how it would be nice to hang out again and catch up with our lives. She said she was looking forward to it and was hoping that I’d agree to share the ride.

I didn’t know how to tell her. So I just spit it out. Well I text it out.

“I don’t think I’m going to make it. I didn’t get invited. If they sent the invite via email, it might be in my junk mail, but I doubt it. If it was sent regular USPS I didn’t get one. So I’m thinking I’m not gonna make it. But I hope you have fun.”


No text message back.

Then about half an hour later…

“O.K. Got it.”

That was it. Nothing else. No phone call. No I’ll call you later. Just O.K. Got it.

I guess she felt bad. Well, maybe not bad. More like awkward. But I didn’t. I don’t always have to get invited to things and my feelings aren’t hurt if I’m not. Some people just don’t feel that we’re close enough and that’s O.K. It happens. No worries.

And although my friend might have felt awkward for a little bit, I hope that I put her at ease. I guess things like that would have mattered back in high school. But I’m 36 now. The big three-six and things like this don’t bother me. They’re kind of funny.


The Unvitation

19 Jan

Have you ever gotten the unvitation? These bastards. You know, someone is having a party, simply because your other friends made you aware of it. The big event, which probably took weeks to plan, party favors to buy, and meticulously researched invitations to purchase. But you get the unvitation in a casual conversation the night before. You get the fake smile and the “oh yeeeeeeeeaaaah, you should come.” Or you get the actual invitation in the mail the same day the event takes place.

Custom Invitations

Image via Wikipedia

It’s not that they invite out of obligation either…they invite you, because they know you’re not going to show up: the unvitation. It’s like a slap in the face without the hand. Pretty creative I guess.

What do you do in situations like these? I mean do you go out of spite, and show up with a bunch of drunk friends? Or do you play up the guilt factor and buy the best present ever and wrap it up professionally just to see how the guilt swarms over? Either way you’ve wasted gas and time. Is the gas worth the trip? Do you know how much unleaded is these days? I’d rather buy myself dinner, table for one please. Or least a nice bottle of wine. Riesling. Framboise. Drinking alone is underrated.

On top of considering the travel arrangements to this soiree you have to shell out money on a gift…well unless you re-gift and leave the previous to-and-from tag. I mean that’s the perfect gift for an unvitation. I mean do you honestly want to be at a place where you’re not wanted and spend money on the people who do not want you there?  I mean unless its to throw a pie in their face money spent would suck.

But the unvitation. What is that? I don’t really come from that school of thought. That sounds like Dynasty-Melrose Place passive aggressive crap. I come more from the aggressive-aggressive school. No conspiring. No colluding. Just profanity and flipping the bird. No unvitations. Just giving people the shaft. They know you don’t want them there, you know you don’t want them there. It’s a win-win. Everyone is happy.