Tag Archives: Musings

I Wonder How It Ends …

4 Apr


Are you going to tune in?


O Captain, My Captain … Rest In Peace

11 Aug

I first saw him in a red jump suit with a silver triangle on Happy Days. I was watching it with my uncle Erick.

And he cracked me up. He was unconventional.

Then I grew up watching him as Mork from Ork.

He flew his freak flag, made me laugh, and warmed my heart. He encouraged me to let my wackiness out, I thought if he’s comfortable like that why not. If he’s out there, like a lightning bolt, on the edge, feeling every bit of life through his comedic genius, dude so can I.

I can let my awesome out.

I was a fan. Most definitely. So was my Dad.


The first movie we saw was a classic. Something that we always enjoyed watching. Something that encouraged spirit.


“Goooooooooooooooooooood Morning VIETNAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!”


It’s still something that resonates spirit. Something that first opened my eyes to war, and that you can even have a bit of comedy in such a serious subject matter. He did that well, teaching lessons through dramas, but always using comedy to help it along a bit.


Boys, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Don’t be resigned to that. Break out! — Dead Poet’s Society


My Dad and I connected through his movies, whether they were comedies or dramas. We enjoyed watching him and bonding over laughs and awesome lines. We enjoyed his exuberance and his I’m-out-here kind of comedy. One of the best movies that I often watch to get me out of a funk is the Bird Cage, guaranteed laughs, and guaranteed cured for crappy moods. I so wish I would have been able to meet him and thank him for the endless laughs he gave me and his warm heart. I only got to know him through his works. but I was grateful for at least that.


“Laughter enhances the blood flow to the body’s extremities and improves cardiovascular function. Laughter releases endorphins and other natural mood elevating and pain-killing chemicals, improves the transfer of oxygen and nutrients to internal organs.
Laughter boosts the immune system and helps the body fight off disease, cancer cells as well as viral, bacterial and other infections. Being happy is the best cure of all diseases.” — Patch Adams


My Dad could watch this guy and crack up at his improvisation skills and his quick wit. But we both agreed, he was so much more than just comedy, and we knew it. He was of life lessons, and out there with his personal struggles and his triumphs. He was definitely inspiring for those who didn’t fit the mold, for those who were excited about life and showed it no matter where you were. My Dad would have definitely been sad about his passing. He knew well what it was like to live with depression. My Dad dealt with it for over a decade, and would have probably rooted for Robin to get through it. It’s a disease that wears on your spirit and soul. My Dad struggled with it daily and I witnessed it and tried my best to help him feel loved and help him find laughter when all he could see was darkness.

It’s tough when someone so amazingly funny and passionate for comedy dies.

I’m saddened about Robin’s death, and even more so because it made me think of my Dad and all the times we hung out watching movies and re-runs of his movies. But I was also glad that Williams was part of my life growing up, making me smile and crack up. His interviews and stand-up often reminded me to just let your freak flag fly, go off course, live with passion, and let the awesomeness shine through.

I was glad that I shared many TV memories with my Dad and my uncle Erick, whose favorite line was “Nanu, Nanu.” But as always watching him on the big screen and laughing out loud will be something I will miss.


You don’t know about real loss because it only occurs when you’ve loved something more than you love yourself. I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much.” — Good Will Hunting




Weekly Photo Challenge: Summer Lovin’

30 Jul
Grease with John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John

Grease with John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John


As soon as I heard that this week’s challenge was “Summer Loving” this was the first image that came to mind. I know it’s technically not a photo but the image definitely captures a priceless moment.


Weekly Photo Challenge courtesy of The Daily Post.



Weekly Photo Challenge: Extra, Extra

18 Jun


Extra, Extra ...

Extra, Extra …



Wanted to get a drink and noticed something extra at the end of the bar …



It Was The Principle

11 Jun

I don’t know if you’re aware but crossing certain social boundaries within a family dynamic can create a WWE Royal Rumble type of atmosphere.

It can be anything. A look. A word. A phrase. An act. Anyone of these can light the fuse.

And the funny thing is that I was recently reminded that I’m not the only crazy neurotic mom that battles with her family over boundaries.

Earlier this week I hung out with a friend of mine who was in serious need of a girls night out. Apparently Marissa had let her mom babysit over the weekend and when Marissa returned to pick up her daughter, her mom had not only thrown “the schedule” out the window, but also decided to cut the little girl’s hair. And the thing is as a mom I know how important “the schedule” is to a parent’s survival so I thought … man that does suck, but when she mentioned the tiny tot ambush makeover I almost gave her some chocolate.



I knew my friend — the Aquanet Hairspray junkie — would have a serious problem with that boundary violation. She cherishes her little girls hair and accessorizes it and it’s just on with her, it’s a whole Paul Mitchell obsession with good hair. And the thing is her mom knew that too, so the fact that she decided to go all Edward Scissorhands really surprised me.

Apparently grandma felt that her hair needed a trim … it was just too long.

And that’s when sparks flew.

While hearing her story over pasta and wine, I completely understood why she was so upset. It was the principle … the principle.

This is the root of most wars.

The principle.

An ethical standard or guiding conduct in our lives. The way things work.

Apparently Marissa’s mom did not get the message regarding the principle and hair cutting. And the thing is the haircut itself wasn’t disastrous. It was short, but not terrible. However if that would have happened to me, it would have been serious breech of conduct. So I completely understood her frustration.  Cutting a girl’s hair is serious and shouldn’t be done without the verbal and written consent of the mother. But I tried to assure her that it would grow back and that everyone has battles like these.

Principle battles. I have at least three a week with my own flesh and blood. So what do I do when this happens … When I’ve explained that a boundary has been crossed and the principle has been attacked? Do I stand there and wait for the traditional “I’m sorry?”

No. It’s not coming.

I call a friend, have a girl’s night out with my buddy, tell her my woes, eat some chocolate, laugh a lot, and hope for fewer battles.

She was definitely on the right track to recovery.



Learning to Leave It Behind

9 Jun







Sometimes You Should Just Ask Once …

2 Jun






Don’t Worry About Making Mistakes … They Eventually Turn Into Something

28 May






The 12-Step Program

19 May

Every mom and wife on Earth knows exactly what I’m talking about when I say The 12-Step Program.

Other than the two steps you take to get out of bed, these are the 12 most important steps you’ll take in the day.

You’re stressed out. Upset. Frustrated. Angry. Irritated. Maybe even hostile. A series of unfortunate effects has led you to this current state of angst and normally getting your shirt caught on the door and tearing the pocket wouldn’t burn you out, but with everything building up, it just tips you over. It could be anything or anyone really that sets you off. Usually it’s one of three: kids, mother (mother-in-law), or dude. Anyone of these could put you on the verge of starring in your own episode of Oxygen’s Snapped!

You’re ready to burst, but you don’t have the time or privacy to take part in the emotional breakdown you need or deserve.

You’re at the CVS parking lot. You’re in front of the church. You’re on the streets of downtown putting some money in the meter.

Could happen anywhere.

So what do you do when there’s no chocolate in sight?


This is how long it takes me to walk from the passenger side of my truck to the driver’s side. 12-steps.



I can’t tell you how awesome these 12 steps have been in my lifetime. I think they’ve helped me avoid numerous public breakdowns.

I was reminded of them this weekend as I saw a mom unloading her vehicle with party supplies at the park. It must have been her daughter’s birthday party because as she was packing everything in I could hear the whining and just as she closed the door a couple of balloons escaped and you heard the kids losing it and the mom hitting her breaking point. She looked like she needed to beat the crap out of that pinata.

She put her forehead up against the car … and I knew.

Yeah I knew that feeling I’ve had it plenty of times before.

12 steps. Take the 12 steps.  She stood there defeated. Maybe she didn’t know.

12 steps.

You exhale.

You breathe.

You probably pull out some of the most foul profanity in your vocabulary and then you breathe again.

You ask the universe to give you peace and just let you get through the rest of the day without killing someone.

You talk to yourself and try to be the best psychologist you can be.

You breathe some more because apparently oxygen helps calms you down.

You tell yourself you can do it, there are only a couple more hours left.

As you continue walking around your car you tell yourself that where you are now is not where you’re gonna be at the end of the day.

You keep breathing and finally making it to the driver’s side. You tell yourself things could be worse, you don’t know how, but they could. So you take another breath and try to forget about what just happened. You think of a time or place that’s made you feel like you were in that Pharrell Williams’s Happy video. For me it’s Australia. You close your eyes and see it. You take one last breath and then open the door.

These are the best 12 steps I take in my New Balance all day.

Although sometimes … sometimes you need to do it twice before you actually get in the car.





12 x 12 Chocolate Challenge: Celebrating Ellen With Espresso

16 May

“I went in like Clark Kent and came out like Superman … ”


That’s exactly how it went down.

I wasn’t sure what to expect. I mean I knew I would have fun regardless, but didn’t realize crossing off these two items from my Bucket List would feel so amazingly good. Like chocolate good. Like espresso beans covered in chocolate good and I don’t even like coffee, but that’s some good stuff.


Bucket List Items #7 and #8 …





Go to the Ellen DeGeneres Show and dance in the aisles like the Dancer of the Day.


That was me … The Guat … getting down to Michael Jackson’s Beat It … Something I don’t think I’ve heard in a while, but I remembered my junior high school moves. I had the excitement of Bucket List Accomplishment in me and the fact that I won a little something special … dude … it was cartwheel worthy for sure.

So how else could I honor this moment other than with chocolate.

The Chocolate Espresso Layer Cake … that was the one. I was debating between German Chocolate and the espresso, but seeing how I’ve had German Chocolate Cake before I thought I’d give something else a try.

Let me tell you … if you’re a coffee drinker this is definitely for you.


I loved the chocolate part and for some reason any time I add coffee, the chocolate seems to intensify. Something I never knew before I started this whole 12 x 12 Challenge. I’ve never had espresso before, but I was definitely tasting it in the cake. I feel awake. Wide awake. It’s not really a night-time snack kind of cake, more of a daylight hours treat for coffee drinkers. Ellen drinks coffee … she would have enjoyed it.

But note to self … I now know what bakers mean by over-mixing your batter. I never paid too much attention to this piece of advice. I saw it in almost every recipe so far, but didn’t realize how important it was to the whole chemistry of a cake.


It matters.

Totally matters.

So if you want a nice, fluffy, chocolatey, cake with a crumbly crumb pay attention to the do not over-mix instructions. They actually know what they’re talking about. Those directions are there for a reason … the reason being making my cake even more fantabulous.

And the frosting?

Well according to the warning this is an advanced frosting, novices beware. Yeah she put out a beware sign in front of her recipe. Granted she was right, but there really wasn’t a need to underestimate me from the get-go. And even if my frosting didn’t quite look like the recipe’s picture, it still came out pretty tasty and my Bucket List Celebration continued, regardless of the toxicity surrounding my environment. It was a good night.



Recipe courtesy of SavorySimple.net

Recipe courtesy of SavorySimple.net