Tag Archives: mothers

When Makeup is Not Enough: Worn-Out Cover Girls

3 Mar

This weekend we attended another kid’s party and as I scanned the room I couldn’t help but notice something odd about all the parents. The dads looked like they just had facials at Burke Williams Spa, while the moms and the guy with the newborn looked like they were aged CoverGirls … weary and tore up.

All the moms had that same look, including myself. It’s not like we weren’t having fun at this rice crispies treat extravaganza. We were and we were styling in our best Old Navy apparel, but we looked weathered. It was all in the eyes. Now don’t get me wrong dads, I’m sure there are some good non-sleeping dads too, so don’t send me hate mail.  But at this fiesta the count was low. One to be exact. I didn’t get it. What was going on?

And then the answer hit me as someone asked me how I was doing. My response of course was … tired. This baby keeps me up at night, getting four of hours sleep, and that’s just not enough for me. I got things to do. Got to write, got to train for my race, got to have fun with my son … got things to do.

Their response was … you just have to give in. Moms, without nannies, turn crazy because they’re trying to fight the system. Just accept it, you no longer got six hours of sleep, you’ll get four until they move out of the house. Your problem is you want too much.

I’m sorry, what?

You want too much. Just accept it, don’t fight it. You’ll be better off.

And there it was … I had high expectations. Apparently that was my problem.

But no, aside from laughing at this comment, this was not the problem. Multi-tasking. That was the problem. Moms are the multi-tasking gurus. You’re shaving your legs, waxing your lips, and brushing your teeth all while you have a batch of Nestle Toll House in the oven. 

Dude. Not cool, man.

Do you think your other half would be doing that … no. They wouldn’t shave, they’d suck on a tick-tack, and buy ten packs of Famous Amos at the Chevron Gas Station. No multi-tasking and plenty of time to watch the Golf Channel.

I know moms have to get stuff done, otherwise it never gets done, and I know that hygiene is a must. But you know what, sometimes that laundry needs to stay in the dryer, while you watch the USA Network. Need to enjoy the show. Need to enjoy your rocky road. Need to indulge in the moment.  

I came across a quote the other day, one I had highlighted in a book, which resurfaced in my day-to-day calendar.

“Being in the present moment — if you can learn to do that — begins to change your whole life.”

I’m not saying I’m going to block everything out and live in ruins. You do have to multi-task, you do, but sometimes you need a break and enjoy the moment … “be in the present”. Otherwise you’ll keep looking like all the moms at this party. Worn-out CoverGirls. You know, chicks that can’t even cover up “the tired” with makeup … There’s just not enough Covergirl cosmetics to help … not even mineral makeup.

But I won’t give up. I can never want too much of anything, especially sleep.


Did She Just Say That?

25 Feb

Being a mom is an exhausting adventure. On a daily basis, you have one, maybe two, great things happen with your kids and then a landslide of disaster or the unexpected comes from your current environment, which can include anyone or anything. Today that landslide was my mother.

Her Dr. Jekyll-Ms. Hyde disorder, constantly stresses me out. I never know what to expect when she walks in the door. Some days she’s pleasant other days I just wonder how I made it this far.

I’ve been looking for an affordable place since Thanksgiving. What’s the deal with people not liking dogs. Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to get out of here. It’s pretty depressing. I might have to take up pole dancing because my writing gigs aren’t cutting it and blogging isn’t making me any money, but it sure is relieving my stress and I got plenty of it. Then author Eckhart Tolle reminds me why someone like me is in this condition … “Stress is caused by being  ‘here,’ when you want to be ‘there.'”

So as you might have guessed, this whole environment is contaminated with stress. Especially when she drops the comment. The one that gets under your skin…the one that just makes you exhale because you have absolutely no fuel left in the tank to respond.

After your normal craziness with kids: cooking, dinners, meals, dishes, sweeping, diapers, bottles, bath times and bed times, which incidentally began at 5:47 this morning and was ending at 9:24 p.m., you’re in the kitchen filling up your kid’s sippy cup when your mother is putting away some dishes and she says…”God I can’t believe how lazy you’ve gotten.”

Exhale…deep breaths…counting to ten in both languages, telling that vein in your forehead to retreat because it sounds even worse in Spanish.

Your amazed at your restraint as you sit speechless next to your son … and then he melts away the anger with a few little words. “Thanks for my water mom. I ‘preciate you. You’re a good mom.”