Parenthood is Full of Surprises

I’ve been to a few of these, including five of my own. All with mixed emotions of hurray and what-the-hell-is-waiting-for-me-now? But I’d never been to one as a parent.

It freaks you out. You completely change into a dress-wearing person. Something that my Chapstick type of personality isn’t too comfortable with, but you go with it. And then aside from transforming your wardrobe, your attitude also begins changing. You notice certain feelings taking over you as you see the school program with your kids name on it.

You really don’t want to turn into that crazed photo mom whose big head comes out in everyone’s picture. You really don’t want to be the kind of annoying person you write about. So you restrain yourself. You check your crazy at the door. After all it’s preschool. Get a grip. Coloring, cutting on the dotted line, and Llama, Llama Red Pajama. Nevertheless I found myself calling this a milestone moment in his mini life, sort of like walking and getting potty trained. In parent world this is big.

So I struggled with my crazy. I never had to do that before, usually I let my freak flag fly. But this was no freak flag, this was annoying crazy parent flag and you need to check that quick. You don’t want to regret anything later that day. You know yourself. So I sat there with mixed feelings about the whole thing. I mean I don’t know what the other Children of the Corn photo crazed parents were feeling at the time, probably no shame seeing how most of their heads with bad hair and ginormous cameras showed up in many of my shots. But all I know was that in the end I was proud to have not gone over the crazy parent cliff.

I was also surprised that I had become sappy. Not balling out soap-opera crying sappy, or the beautiful teary-eyed single drop creeping out of the corner sappy. Just the internal, pensive kind, with emotions swirling about which started when I saw him walk down the aisle in his miniature cap and gown. I thought Holy Crap! He’s going to be strolling down the aisle in another cap and gown in 2025 and then I’ll probably be a real sap. Dude it was like last week when I was cursing up a storm dropping the F-Bomb every five minutes during labor down at Catholic hospital down the street. Just last week, I thought.

But then he smiled at me and it was all good. I was still a little sappy, but I put it in perspective. I’d been mindfully present in the moments that mattered … the sand castle building, the Lego constructing, the pizza making, the stay-at-home movie night going, the family game night doing, the bike riding adventuring, the museum experiencing, the zoo exploring, the superhero pretending, and the night-time story reading. I’d been present the whole time.

Exhausted? Yes. In need of wine and chocolate during the quiet of the night. Definitely.

But also present, and not just going through the motions. There, I was there and enjoying it. So I decided to start mindfully enjoying the graduation, and stop thinking about the future, stop thinking sappy, and stop thinking about the crazy parents surrounding me.

Once I stopped, it ended up being a good day.

 

Walking towards the future … and me behind him trying to catch up.

 

The program that got me thinking all sappy.

 

The clear shot I tried to take of my son and his graduating class, but no luck with everyone else’s camera in the way. I didn’t understand why they kept taking pictures constantly … they were in the front row. Front. All they needed to do was take one picture. I mean all I needed was one. No luck. I had better luck outside by the fountain.

 

While we were enjoying the ability to take pictures without interference, I noticed this rock and thought dude I should totally capture this. What a great sign. A minute later my one year old decided to notice it too. She ended up breaking the fake rock in front of a few other spectators. So all we could do was hide our holy-crap moment, pick up the pieces of hope, and try to walk away unnoticed.

 

While trying to escape the scolding eyes of witnesses, my son decided he needed a cold beverage. I assured him we had plenty of juice boxes in the car and we needed to leave the cookie and punch reception before his sister got a hold of another decorative memento.

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Wear Your New Balance With Some Chanel

Graduation. I’ve attended many public school culmination ceremonies, most of them with the sun beating down on me. But today I went to a private school graduation. My first.

Graduation 2012

A tad different from public school. People there use the word tad.

Despite the up hill mile hike in two-and-a-half inch heel boots, which incidentally is a big thing for this New Balance wearing chick, despite pushing a green Chicco stroller with the baby sleeping and my son hanging on the side of it, and despite sweating like a chick in a workout video, today’s ceremony was good.

I looked nothing like I did when I left the house, and everyone else looked like they stepped out of an air-conditioned make-up salon in Armani and Chanel, accompanied by Michael Kors and Louis Vuitton accessories. And there I was sporting the best that Target had to offer with a Columbia Sportswear backpack. But it was my presence that counted. Kids, juice boxes, Hot Wheels and all the Guatemalaness I had to offer.

My uncle’s daughter, my cousin, finally did it. She strolled on stage in her blue cap and gown. Heels, wearing heels. I don’t even where heels. But there she was … taller than me. She is an adult now.

I remember the baby shower we had for her parents. I remember rushing to the hospital the day she was born. I remember rushing to the hospital when she broke her arm falling off the monkey bars. I remember playing Loteria with her. I remember babysitting and her asking me why I didn’t have any Barbies. I remember taking her to the park and teaching her how to play volleyball and softball. I remember my uncle asking me to keep an eye on her before he passed away.

She was all grown up and I was happy to be there.

What amazed me was that this morning’s ceremony only lasted two-and-a-half hours. Most public school ceremonies average about four hours. Private school ceremonies rock! And they had complimentary, coffee, tea, lemonade, iced-tea, bagels and cream cheese, and fruit. Fruit — the kind that made me three-year old son sit still for about half an hour as he thoroughly enjoyed the grapes and strawberries.

Dude. When you’re a parent and your kid has only got three toys left in the keep-you-entertained-and-quiet-while-your-cousin-graduates bag of toys you start to worry. Thank God for private school graduations and their fruit.

While my kids were enjoying the non-graduating activities, I was enjoying the ceremony. And in truth, I thought of my own high school graduation ages ago. While hearing her people give their speeches, I actually remembered part our valedictorian’s speech. And for a nerd going to MIT, he was pretty funny. Well, I was a nerd too, except I played sports.

For those of you who remember Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson’s basketball movie back in the day, it was referenced in our valedictorian’s speech. Apparently he was a believer in dreams and left us with a simple message that high schoolers ready to go to grad night could hold onto — at least for the night … “And remember White Man Can Jump!”

We cheered. We thought those words were awesome. Our parents clapped because the speech was over.

I would’ve mentioned that to my cousin, but the reference would have been lost on her. I think I would’ve had to mention something from Glee. I think that’s what kids watch these days. They’re not into Law and Order SVU.

But my Hallmark card and some words I remembered her father saying seemed to do the trick.

Graduations. I highly recommend the private school ceremony. Just remember to wear your New Balance, not high heels or crazy tall boots, with some Chanel. And get there earlier — earlier– so you can find better parking and avoid trekking a mile up hill, especially if you have a clunky stroller and two kids. Private school people arrive early, not on time.