Tag Archives: Getting older

I Found Norman … or Stan at CVS

20 Oct

I didn’t think I’d find myself there, but after my visit to the doctor’s office, it was my only answer.

You see, this happens.

Getting older.

The gray hairs, I knew about that, I knew about BenGay in the joints, and ice packs on the aching knees, I knew, but dude … I am epically failing the aging process as my doctor mentioned I was severely lacking Calcium, and Vitamin D. In addition I need to beef up my core/ muscle workout and apparently I’m in need of Metamucil because I’m lacking the adequate amounts of fiber.

So there I was … at the CVS. I found myself in the Metamucil aisle and an elderly man, who looked like a Norman or Stan, just nodded at me as I took a moment to contemplate my fiber options.

40’s rock.

It took me a while to choose. I didn’t know fiber was that complicated, especially since I needed Psyllium in my supplement on account of elevated cholesterol levels. Yeah … I got that too. It was funny as we were running through my checklist of ailments when I said it …

“But I exercise five-six times a week. I eat healthy, nothing too excessive.”

I mean I eat egg whites, how is this my lifestyle now? My only problem is dark chocolate, milk chocolate any kind of chocolate really, but it’s not a daily occurrence. But apparently it could have been anyway because my sugar was a little high so I could have been breaking off pieces of it everyday! How is it that I found myself on aisle 6 looking through ingredients of my 4-in-1 supplement like I had any clue to its success.

When did I make a wrong turn?

Healthy is not supposed to have a to-do list at the CVS.

But it’s in the blood, just like my good looks. That cholesterol is in the blood. Both my parents had it. My uncle, aunt, cousin and grandpa all had or currently have diabetes. And everyone that’s retired is taking calcium supplements. It’s a great family tree.

The rest? The losing muscle?

That’s just the aging process. A friend of mine sent me a video she came across as she was conducting some research about bone loss. It happens, usually in 50’s or 60’s so I have something to look forward to along with my AARP membership. Just the Facts if Life, like Mrs. Garrett told Tooty, Joe, and Blair. Facts of Life include supplements.

Buen Camino my friends!

The Day Before …

25 Jul

There are a lot of things I know I’m not …

When I sit by myself at night, I know I’m not going to be as successful as my Dad or uncle. They grew up with absolutely nothing and became something by the time they were my age. They worked hard and reached for what they thought was big. I work hard and have yet to crack the surface.

I know I don’t measure up sometimes, but I’m not a quitter even though life gives me plenty of reasons to do so. I try my best and leave it all out there. I got my America Ninja Warrior grip on it and I’m holding on tight.

I know I’m not as happy as SpongeBob Squarepants but I’m not a bad person. I wake up everyday trying to empty the tank and be kind to people, even to those who are not always kind to me. I breathe and take moments, so I don’t speak out of anger. But I do get angry … at selfishness, deceit, hypocrisy, betrayal, and meanness. I get upset when people lash out, but don’t ask for forgiveness. They just pretend it didn’t happen.

I know I’m not very trusting of people, it takes a while before I can let my guard down. I’m protective. But once you’re in, I’m loyal and true for life.

I know I’m not always enthusiastic to talk to people I’m not familiar with, but I’m not cold. I’m heartfelt and caring. I give hugs and hold tight. I get sad when someone is hurting and try to comfort them with friendship, understanding, and kindness. But I do walk away from people who are jerks and are unkind and think it’s all right.

I know I’m not very forgiving of people who hurt me on purpose, or can’t bring themselves to say I’m sorry for doing something they knew was wrong. I don’t hold onto the anger though. I just let them go. Plus, I’ll always be the first to admit when it’s my fault and apologize if I was wrong or hurt someone.

I know I’m not always at 100, but I’m not a miserable person. I’m sad sometimes and people hurt my feelings, but I’m not spiteful when that happens. I’m just hurt, and I cry. I do my best to get out of the funk and not let it rent more space.

I know I’m not bitter. I have a good heart and it still smiles when things are hard. I still like to laugh. I look for the funny and practice gratitude. I’m a good friend and try to send out positive vibes. I try to pay-it-forward even though I may not have much.

I know I’m best-friend-less. I used to have one … the kind you call right away when something happens to you … the kind you share your hopes, dreams, and broken hearts with … the kind where you have inside jokes … the person that gets you without judgement … I used to have one but lost them, we’re no longer close. But I still have my kids and we share plenty of good-time-noodle-salad moments, and old and not-so old friends, who give me SuperSoul Sunday feelings.

I know I’m not a successful writer, but I’m a good storyteller, who keeps reaching for the stars even though I stand alone.

I know I’m not a morning person, but I still make pancakes and enjoy the peace of the sunrise … even in pajamas. I feel morning starts after the sun wakes up and not before.

I know I’m not who I thought I was going to be when I grew up, but I’m still trying to get there, even when everyone else I know has reached the finish line.

I know I’m not perfect. I’m broken and scarred, chipped and faded. But I put myself together with crazy glue … I’m a work-in-progress and think I’m still flawesome.

I know I’m not a lipstick-high-heels type of girl who gets the double-look when she walks by, or dawns covers of magazines. I’m the Chapstick-under-the-radar type who wears t-shirts and jeans, likes sports and travel, even though most of my travel in recent years have been staycations. I’m the best-friend in a romantic-comedy who people realize ‘she was the one all along’.

So … on the day before my birthday I know these things I’m not. And I try not to listen to those who want to focus on negatives and highlight the things I am not, but I pay attention to the things that I am.

Sending you sunshine and waves … Buen Camino my friends.

I Think I Still Could Have Been A Great Chapter

10 Nov

It hasn’t happened to me in such a long time, so I wasn’t sure how to take it. I mean I know how I took it, I took it poorly.  In addition to raiding my kids Halloween Candy stash, I emptied the freezer of  two Ben & Jerry’s pints.

It was a crisis or sorts.

I had lost it.

I lost a friend and it wasn’t because of death, health reasons, or an untimely demise. They’re living and breathing just fine, it’s me who was hyperventilating when I realized a couple of months ago that our friendship was over. It was a friendship that was rushed to the relationship ER and then never made it out.

There wasn’t an argument or heated discussion, and nobody had crossed any lines. It just slowly deteriorated. I saw it happening and tried to stop it. But with all my efforts I felt like that chic from He’s Just Not That Into You. The dork that hopelessly and endlessly tries to find the one and then thinks that every guy she’s been with is the one, only to realize that they’ve all been lame dudes that she’s made these excuses for because she was blinded.

 

He's Just Not That Into You

He’s Just Not That Into You

 

Yeah that was me. I was trying to hang on to a friendship that apparently meant more to me than them.

Now I realize that everyone is busy and as we get older there are all kinds of demands coming from work, family, and other friendships. I get it. We’re busy. But there are friends that I haven’t seen in months even years, and when they come into town and we get to talking, it’s like we never left campus and we picked up exactly where we left off. No awkward pauses or talks about the weather. We get down to laughter and real talk. The comfort zone is still there. The inside jokes are still there. The friendship is still there.

But this time around I realized that was gone. And I don’t know if guys really make a big deal out stuff like this, or if it’s just a chick thing, or if it’s just me but losing a friend kind of sucks all the way around. I was making all kinds of effort to maintain this friendship in a non-stalker-non Single White Female kind of way.

But then it dawned on me.

We had already broken up, I just wasn’t aware of it. I didn’t know the ins-and-outs of their lives anymore, I wasn’t part of their growth process. I wasn’t a chapter in their novel anymore, I just ended up being a really good short story. And I guess nothing is wrong with being a short story, great movies and TV shows are based on short stories.

But it’s something I didn’t expect. I think I had more to offer, I think I still could have been a great chapter.

As an adult I thought I was set and my circle of trust was in tact, but was reminded that some relationships don’t last and there’s nothing more that you could have done. Just got to be happy with the fact that you lived with integrity and you always did right by them.

 

 

Daily Prompt Challenge Part II: The 57-Year-Old Guat

5 Nov

Dear 57-year-old Guat,

I don’t know what to tell you …

Thirty-seven wasn’t a great year, it could’ve been better. Mid-thirties … a lot of lessons. Too many. I should be a genius at your age. Genius. I’m hoping all the lessons are done and you’re enjoying whatever adventures are left on your bucket list.

At 57, I’m hoping there’s got to be something more. I remind you of the Sugarland lyrics that woke you up — that gave you a Thelma-and-Louise a-ha moment without driving off a Grand Canyon cliff.

“I ain’t settlin’, for just getting by.
I’ve had enough so-so, for the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
‘Just enough,’ ain’t enough this time
I ain’t settlin’ for anything less than everything”

I’m hoping you remembered the lyrics and kept them close. I’m hoping they continued to inspire you. I’m hoping that you lived by those rules. I know things don’t always turn out the way you planned — something I kept being reminded of in my 30s, but I’m hoping some things did work out for you.

I’m hoping you still have that picture of yourself — the one that reminds you of “you” and you look it every time you feel lost. I’m hoping that most of your gray hair and wrinkles are badges of honor — badges of adventure, excitement, and fun — and not so much of despair, worry, and sadness.

I hope you returned to Australia, but with your kids this time. It was the best trip of your life — a transformation. I hope they enjoyed it as much as you did. I hope you went bungy jumping again.

I hope you became that older gray-haired chick who still runs triathlons — the Ironman kind of older lady who whooshed by the 37 year-olds and made them want to run faster.

I hope you were a good parent — the kind you always thought you’d be. If not … you’re 57 … get on it. Let your kids read your old blog posts on Word Press, they’ll probably enjoy seeing what you were like when you were younger.

Some of the best lessons learned came from reading The Alchemist and Eat, Pray, Love. Reread them and refresh your memory.

You’re three years away from the big 6-0. Throw yourself a party. A big party. Invite family and friends. Indulge in food and enjoy the music, let your inner 37 year-old Guat hit the dance floor.

Enjoy the party. Enjoy your life. Keep your sense of humor. And always be kind.

Love,
Your Younger Self

Finding Side Effects, Then Finding Inspiration to Give Them The Finger

28 Jul

Inspiration. Yeah I was looking for it the other day and I found it.

These Don- Draper-Mad-Men type of Olympic commercials featuring promising gold medal athletes did it for me. You need inspiration when you hit the big 3-7 birthday. Because you are no longer at the mid-thirties mark. You’re in the late-thirties category … as in I’m in my late-thirties.

If you’re at the place, where you expected to be in life, there can be no side effects to this late thirties category. But if you’re not, there may be some side effects that constantly have you roaming the Dale-CarnegieTony-Robbins aisle at the book store.

Side Effects?

You find an old driver’s license in your wallet, a post college but pre-marriage license and the driver’s license picture with the hideous blue background looks better than you do now. You look at yourself in the mirror, and wonder what the hell?

You find a pair of Lucky jeans that you bought at Costco in the pre-baby era and now … one year post-baby in which you ran a Warrior Dash and TinMan Triathlon race you still can’t fit into those jeans. Costco Jeans! Pinche 37-year-old metabolism.

You realize that you’re now in need of something called Midol or Pamprin, and B12.

You need naps during the day, but can’t get them because you have two kids with a lot energy, so you purchase something called concealer to hide the under-eye circles that can’t seem to be concealed with anything other than sun glasses.

At 37 you’re supposed to be in your corner office, the one with a window, and an assistant or an intern helping you out. You’re supposed to have a business card. I do not have a business card. I do not have an office. I do not even have a cubicle.

But when I was at the book store I noticed something and realized it’s all good.  I may be 37, but I still have passion. I can still be a celebrated achiever. Not celebrated by the world, but celebrated by me — the Pamprin-Midol-B12 taker, non-jeans wearer, who buys concealer and doesn’t have a business card … yet.

 

Image via Quotable Cards