Brace Yourselves … The End of Teller Tuesdays is Near

Dear Jax,

I can’t even …I mean I can’t.

This is definitely a Holy Crap moment.

I can’t believe it’s here. I just can’t. I mean part of me is in denial about the whole thing. I know it’s real I know it’s gonna happen and I know I’m gonna have a difficult time letting go.

But I’ve got to … there’s just no other way

You have been in my life for seven years. It’s been seven years … seven … and now things are coming to an end and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m excited about what’s to come, but feeling the anxiety of knowing it’s the end.

I’m riding an emotional roller coaster on a Harley.

I’m in midst of mourning the loss of this relationship and coming to the realization that you will no longer be in my life on a weekly basis.

I feel like all the good men in my life have left me.

I didn’t know what to do without Tony. I knew I’d miss Tommy. I mean I was at a loss with Jack. Devastated with losing Jesse and Walter. And now it’s you … I have to say good-bye to you. I knew you’d be a heart breaker the moment I saw you.

You were the dangerous, charming and gentle-hearted type of outlaw.

SOA Season 1

SOA Season 2

SOA Season 3

SOA Season 4

SOA Season 5

SOA Season 7

I knew you were walking the line, but I still fell for you. Your heart was in a good place, you were suffering from the hero’s complex, always trying to do right, but being pulled in all kinds of directions so the wrong eventually surfaced. I’m gonna miss being in your life, hearing your thoughts, and riding this final journey with you.

Some of the best parts of being on this final ride with you were listening to the deepest thoughts from the most complicated part of your soul, reading your father’s letters and manuscript, watching your relationship with Tara, seeing your brotherhood with Opie and Chibs get stronger, realizing that we both liked and hated your crazy mother, and rooting for you to succeed as a family man … but most of all it was the drama. The intense blow-my-mind-I-need-a-defibrillator-because-my-heart-couldn’t-take-it-anymore kind of drama pulled me in every week. You pulled me in …

Your story Jax.

It was your story that drew me in and for that I suppose I have to thank the genius behind you Kurt Sutter.

But now it ends.

Tomorrow is the BIG day. Tomorrow at 10 o’clock on FX Network I will be anxiously and nervously awaiting the end of your story … the end of my beloved Sons of Anarchy A.K.A. SAMCRO. I am happy to see how it will end, but saddened to realize that it has an end.

Tomorrow there will no longer be Teller Tuesdays … just Tuesdays. Brace yourselves, I know I’ll have to because I can guarantee you that it will feel empty and it will suck, that’s the feeling of knowing you won’t be there. That’s how it’s gonna feel.

Am I being a little dramatic?

No, not really. Not if you’re a fan like me.

I was glad to have known you. You’ve kept me company every Tuesday night for the past seven years.

Teller Tuesdays … they’ve been an awesome ride.

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It Broke My Heart … And I Forgot to Check My Crazy at The Door

HOLY CRAP!

The night was filled with profanity and disbelief. The unexpected happened, but in retrospect I should’ve known he was going to rip my heart out.

There I was six years ago minding my own business, when a friend calls me and says you should really watch this new show. I’m totally into it. They’re doing a marathon on account of the season finale.

And there it was … that’s where it began. I blame Michelle for this state I’m in. She turned me into a Sons of Anarchy junkie, where apparently no one is ever safe in the city of Charming.

Image via FXNetworks.com/soa

It’s been six years and I can’t stop the surprises from blowing my mind.

Usually I can see things coming, but this totally broke my heart and left me in my I-can’t-believe-this-just-happened state of mind. I couldn’t even sleep thinking about it.

He killed her. He totally killed her off and he broke my heart in the process.

In one of the best season finales I’ve seen, Son’s of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter kills off Doctor Tara Knowles: Jax Teller‘s wife, his old lady, the love of his life, the mother of his two kids, and the moral compass to his being.

Image via FXNetworks.com/soa

Who does that? Who kills off someone so important to the main character?

Who leaves two little boys alone with the possibility of a junkie ex-girlfriend or murdering grandma vying for guardianship?

Who?

Who makes you believe that Jax will own up and protect his family at all costs, only to be betrayed by his own mother?

Who?

Sutter.

You bastard.

I used to think he was a writing genius, but now I think he’s just a crazy madman toying with my emotions and breaking my heart at the end of every season. First it was Opie, Jax’s best friend and right-hand man, who was literally beaten to death in front of his eyes. I thought dude … did that just happen? How the hell is Jax going to recover from that? It took me a while to mourn that loss. And now this?

Dude I am heavily wrapped in Sons of Anarchy drama. Complete geek.  Although, I don’t even know if I can say geek when referring to an outlaw motorcycle club show, but in essence, that’s who I am … I’ve turned into one of those Star Trek Super Crazed Fans that know the Spock language and is completely obsessed with the Enterprise. That’s me … however instead of polyester space suits and pointy ears my obsession revolves around motorcycles, black leather, and murder.

There have only been a few shows that get me to a state of craziness like this … LOST, 24, The X-Files, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos. They consume me and  I get so emotionally involved that if I saw one the actors out in the open I would totally jaywalk across congested life-and-death traffic and scale a 20-foot fence just to say how much I love them, but I’d do my best not to come off stalker like.

Realistically it doesn’t make sense for me to get all crazy hostile over Tara’s unexpected departure, but I loved this character. She was a strong woman with flaws and depth. I loved watching her and Jax on-screen.

Poor Tara, she was trying to do the right thing and ended up getting stabbed to death by Jax’s manipulative and controlling mother, Gemma, who escapes without Jax knowing. But of course Tara had to die, she knew all the secrets, including the fact that Gemma also had a hand in killing Jax’s real father, John.  However at least she got to speak her truth about their relationship and Jax spoke his, and they reconnected. At least Jax stepped up and chose her over the club, something I thought would not happen.

“You’re a husband … and a father … and a man before all of this. Own your place.”

Image via FXNetworks.com/SOA

And Jax did. He did. He listened to prosecutor Patterson. And I was left hopeful … but I should have known. Hope gets shot in Charming.

I was left stunned. In the end, Jax was left finding Tara’s body on the kitchen floor, next to the dead sheriff who was trying to protect her.

Dude I don’t know if I can handle much more, Sutter.

Can I see Karma catching up to Gemma in Season 7?

Dude.

Can I?

Can I see Jax fulfill Tara’s wishes and get his family out of Charming and away from crazy Gemma?

Image via FXNetworks.com/SOA

Can I?

Considering that Opie’s wife was also killed because of SOA Club drama, can I see Jax’s fate or path being different from Opie’s?

Can I?

You’re killing me, Sutter. Killing me.

For six seasons I’ve been loyal, totally sucked into this biker world with plenty of Holy-Crap moments. However, this one tops the list. I mean if I had a support system, maybe I wouldn’t have been so devastated. But there I was, freaking out on the couch, by myself with no Sons of Anarchy after-the-show-I’ll-comfort-you-this-actually-didn’t-happen group. Just me and some chocolate.

And the show’s message boards.

Yeah … it got so crazy that I went online to the social media world I dislike so much and hit the message boards.

Has that ever happened to you? Where you’re a normal person but turned into a crazed fan?

Yeah that’s what broken hearts do. We forget to check our crazy at the door.

 

It’s The Reason Why I Watch The FX Network

I don’t consider myself a biker chick. I don’t own a leather vest or leather chaps. I don’t own anything Harley-Davidson related. I have no tattoos. But I am a SAMCRO follower. I’ve been there since the beginning.

Image via FXNetworks.com

I hear the guitar strum … then my heart beats, and I nod my head in rhythm …

Riding through this world
All alone
God takes your soul
You’re on your own
The crow flies straight
A perfect line
On the devil’s bed
Until you die
Gotta look this life
In the eye …

Me … the sporty nerd was part of the masses. I was one of the 5.4 million viewers that tuned in this week to watch the season premiere of  Sons Of Anarchy.

Charlie Hunnam … dude.  Charlie. I took no phone calls. I turned off the computer. Made sure the kids were asleep by eight-thirty and then I ignored everybody in the household. It was SAMCRO time.

Image via FXNetworks.com

I wasn’t with my feet up, relaxing on the couch. I was on full edge of the couch alert mode, completely engaged in all the drama and action.

Why is it that I found myself completely ignoring the what’s-for-dinner question? I mean other than Charlie Hunnam … dude … Charlie. Hmmmmmm. He plays Jax Teller. Hmmmm. Jax Teller. No it wasn’t only the hot dude. It was  his opening monologue.

“Finding things that make you happy shouldn’t be that hard … There’s an old saying ‘that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, I don’t believe that. I think the things that try to kill you make you angry and sad. Strength comes from the good things. Your family. Your friends. The satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that will keep you whole. Those are the things you hold onto when you’re broken.”

Who does that? Who writes nitty-gritty awesome life advice like that? A genius.  A genius with a beard. Kurt Sutter.

If you haven’t watched the show … it’s O.K. I forgive you. They’ve got Hulu and Netflix now. You can catch up. But in short … it’s about an outlaw motorcycle club  in the city of Charming, California and their struggle to protect their club’s existence and semi-peaceful way of life. It’s got drama, violence, dark humor, and motorcycle stuff. It’s also got my undivided attention every Tuesday night.

Jax Teller is trying so hard to do the right thing, leave the motorcycle club, and make a new life with his family far away. But the drama, the past, the ties to his father who was an original member of the club, the revenge for his father’s death, the feud with his step-father who’s also a club member — a sneaky one, and his controlling mom whose all up in the club’s business,  keeps pulling him back in.

All this keeps me coming back every season.

I like watching Jax Teller’s inner conflict surface. Not because I enjoy people’s troubles but because he’s genuinely a good guy with a pure heart in an outlaw world, living by a code and trying to do what’s right for everyone.  He’s trying to stick to his father’s manifesto and bring the club back to a good place, but conflict arises and he tries his best to deal with it. He’s just like everyone else on earth … conflicted … except everyone else isn’t the president of an outlaw motorcycle club.

I was glued to the television this week, and will probably do so the entire season. So if it’s Tuesday night you’ll know where I’ll be … sitting on the edge of my couch along with the other 5.4 million people who watch.

Dude. FX rocks.