Happy Festivus!

Happy Festivus people! In a Telemundo version of the Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength, it never occurred to me that I would get sick this holiday season, but what’s Festivus without the added bonus of a migraine followed by nausea and killer stomach aches.

Yup … there I was … scavenging the medicine cabinet for Sal de Uvas–you know my people’s Alka-Seltzer– during the Broncos vs. Chiefs game and praying that I wouldn’t throw up on the floor.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

It’s a terrible feeling when you know you have to but it’s not happening, your whole body is going through an internal battle, and you can feel its losing, and there on the horizon is bed time routine … just waiting to start.

I held out as long as I could, but in the end my son finished reading How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Both kids went to sleep quickly as they could tell mom was losing the battle, we all managed to fall asleep until my phone rang and it woke me.

I’m still losing the battle but feel that if I lay perfectly still with no sudden movements  it’s not that horrible. Listening to some tunes and watching The Ref helps. Slipper socks … medium. Ha! Dennis Leary cracks me up.

So I thought I’d try to pass along the good cheer … you know, just in case some of you were battling the Festivus nausea this year and needed some Christmas spirit headed your way … you know in case you wanted to feel like Hugh Grant dancing to  The Pointer Sisters in Love Actually.

Hope your Festivus was merry and filled with laughter … not nausea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Buen Camino my friends.

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Hope You Find Another Way … A Festivus Miracle Way

 

Happy Festivus!

 

 

Getting In The Spirit!

 

🙂

Getting in tune with my inner George wanted to make sure I spread the holiday cheer. Happy Festivus people.

No Need For Counting Calories … Really … No Need. It’s The Holidays.

I don’t understand why diets and holidays tend to come together. It’s really the worst time to watch what you’re eating.

People tend to restrict themselves and cut back because they’re watching their figure. I’ve seen the Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig commercials, as well as those gym commercials. People constantly wanting you to lose weight. Now I’m not saying some people don’t need to, I’m sure they do. But the majority of us fit in the “normal” category where love handles are accepted and we really shouldn’t be pressured to feel bad about it.

I mean these new “moms” posting pictures of themselves with abs of steel days after giving birth?

Dude cut it out.

I’m glad you think you look good. That’s great, but really … normal moms everywhere don’t need to see that. That does not fuel inspiration that fuels a are-you-fucking-kidding-me moment? I think I speak for most parents when I say that sleep usually overrides any workout plan, when you have a newborn that wakes you up every two hours.

But I digress.

Food and holidays go together. It’s a must, you can’t go depriving yourself around such a food extravaganza. Come January, February, March and the rest of the months of the year, with the exception of November, you can totally cut back. Count as many points and calories as you want. But feasting on Christmas should be mandatory. It’s not going to kill you. Really regardless of what WebMD might insinuate. It won’t. So splurge people, celebrate the love of food!

 

🙂

 

Don’t take a little bit of this and not too much of that. Take what you want, it’s Festivus for crying out loud. I’ve never been fond of that “Less is More” mentality. I think less is less. More should be more, especially around the holidays. That’s when the great cooking comes out.

And if you live in a family like mine, it only happens once a year. People in my neighborhood stock up on Maizena and Farmer John’s Manteca. It’s a feast down here in Whoville with tamales galore. Some cooking geniuses even whip up pozole. 

Dude.

I don’t see tamales or pozole for another 364 days of the year so if I feast on three tamales or two bowls of pozole with a pound of bread I’m good. I’m content. I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel guilty. I feel awesome. And if I want to work out, it’s not so much because I feel bad about the food I ate, it’s because it’s already in my routine. It’s also probably the escape I need from the crazy that is my family holiday.

Now before all you health people start getting crazy on me let me just say, I’m not hating on health nut body building Jillian Michaels type of people or encouraging obesity, but I am in favor of enjoyment. You know, swimming in it. I am a food lover. And I look forward to things that I can only get once a year. No need for counting calories. Really. No need. It’s the holidays, people.

So women I encourage you, feel free to let loose on your holiday celebration. Loosen the belt, people. One or two feast nights won’t kill you. It really won’t. In fact I recently found out that it’s not diabetes, obesity, high cholesterol, or heart disease that kills us. According to the genius Louis CK it’s men. Men are the number cause of death for women. So if you want to avoid anything out there, you should really avoid the dude hanging out by the eggnog.