No Need For Counting Calories … Really … No Need. It’s The Holidays.

I don’t understand why diets and holidays tend to come together. It’s really the worst time to watch what you’re eating.

People tend to restrict themselves and cut back because they’re watching their figure. I’ve seen the Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig commercials, as well as those gym commercials. People constantly wanting you to lose weight. Now I’m not saying some people don’t need to, I’m sure they do. But the majority of us fit in the “normal” category where love handles are accepted and we really shouldn’t be pressured to feel bad about it.

I mean these new “moms” posting pictures of themselves with abs of steel days after giving birth?

Dude cut it out.

I’m glad you think you look good. That’s great, but really … normal moms everywhere don’t need to see that. That does not fuel inspiration that fuels a are-you-fucking-kidding-me moment? I think I speak for most parents when I say that sleep usually overrides any workout plan, when you have a newborn that wakes you up every two hours.

But I digress.

Food and holidays go together. It’s a must, you can’t go depriving yourself around such a food extravaganza. Come January, February, March and the rest of the months of the year, with the exception of November, you can totally cut back. Count as many points and calories as you want. But feasting on Christmas should be mandatory. It’s not going to kill you. Really regardless of what WebMD might insinuate. It won’t. So splurge people, celebrate the love of food!

 

🙂

 

Don’t take a little bit of this and not too much of that. Take what you want, it’s Festivus for crying out loud. I’ve never been fond of that “Less is More” mentality. I think less is less. More should be more, especially around the holidays. That’s when the great cooking comes out.

And if you live in a family like mine, it only happens once a year. People in my neighborhood stock up on Maizena and Farmer John’s Manteca. It’s a feast down here in Whoville with tamales galore. Some cooking geniuses even whip up pozole. 

Dude.

I don’t see tamales or pozole for another 364 days of the year so if I feast on three tamales or two bowls of pozole with a pound of bread I’m good. I’m content. I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel guilty. I feel awesome. And if I want to work out, it’s not so much because I feel bad about the food I ate, it’s because it’s already in my routine. It’s also probably the escape I need from the crazy that is my family holiday.

Now before all you health people start getting crazy on me let me just say, I’m not hating on health nut body building Jillian Michaels type of people or encouraging obesity, but I am in favor of enjoyment. You know, swimming in it. I am a food lover. And I look forward to things that I can only get once a year. No need for counting calories. Really. No need. It’s the holidays, people.

So women I encourage you, feel free to let loose on your holiday celebration. Loosen the belt, people. One or two feast nights won’t kill you. It really won’t. In fact I recently found out that it’s not diabetes, obesity, high cholesterol, or heart disease that kills us. According to the genius Louis CK it’s men. Men are the number cause of death for women. So if you want to avoid anything out there, you should really avoid the dude hanging out by the eggnog.

 

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Christmas Starts A Little Too Early

I don’t know why it irritated me. It shouldn’t have, I mean it really wasn’t any of my business.  I mean people should get into the spirit, right? But … dude … when your Thanksgiving leftover turkey isn’t even in the fridge? C’mon now. I’d expect this from places like the mall, but not a neighbor’s house. Although I could expect anything from the redhead in 2B.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the Christmas spirit, but what’s up with this holiday interrupting the Thanksgiving spirit. I mean not that I want to savor the dysfunctional family moments of the gobble-gobble feast, but let me enjoy the “what-I’m-thankful-for” moments without hearing jingle bells. I mean sometimes the holiday even infringes on the Halloween spirit. Decorations going up everywhere while Jack-O-Lanterns are still out.

But the redhead in 2B waited until Thanksgiving night to put up her decorations. By Friday morning she had her Merry Christmas sign posted on the door, her Christmas tree in the window, her garlands wrapped around the staircase, stockings hanging, and her “Santa Clause is Coming to Town” tune blaring.

Image via christmaswow.com

I blame this on Black Friday. The insanity of the Christmas season is upon us where shoppers go wild and neighbors go to crazy lengths to try to outdo each other on the best decorated house. The redhead in 2B has set the stage. I can’t wait until the mom in 3A sets up her Merry Christmas. It’s an awesome battle of Fa-la-la-la-la spirit where Mariah Carey’s Christmas CD battles Josh Groban’s Christmas collections, and where the Michael’s store makes out the best because both ladies shop there all the time. What happened to simple decorations and ornaments made out of Popsicle sticks that made their appearance on December 1st?

I like to begin my decorating process in December. I feel like October belongs to Halloween, November belongs to Thanksgiving, and Christmas should really stay in December. But that’s just me. Some people … they can’t wait. The spirit comes early and the competition for the best house begins. Redhead in 2B has got a jump on the neighborhood. But I keep myself out of it. I’m not much for Christmas competitions, but I always enjoy the Martha Stewart and Clark Griswold efforts of everyone in the neighborhood. Well … everyone that starts after November.