Image via Despair.com
Sometimes desperation is a good thing. It creates fuel. It drives you. It produces great works of art.
Other times … you end up blurring lines and becoming Walter White.
It’s a fine line.
But I can totally understand how this happens.
Image via Amctv.com
Dear Vince,
For five years I’ve been waiting.
Waiting.
And waiting.
Then on Sunday it happened. Redemption. Revenge. Awesomeness. Closure. It was the best Sunday of the year. It was better than Super Bowl Sunday.
“I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. I was alive.” — Walter White
The fact that you created something like this … that you wrote something like this and directed it … I can’t even tell you. I think I would give you my last piece of chocolate.
I would love to randomly run into you at a restaurant, at Trader Joe’s or on the street. You know most people might not go up to you for fear of bothering you … for fear of the I’m going to freak-out and sound stupid in front of this guy scenario, but not me. The very fact that you created a show like this trumps any fear running through my veins. I’ll risk stupidity for you. I will. You are that awesome. The finale was awesome.
Definitely not half-assed. Definitely a full-measure.
Image via Amctv.com
I sat there by myself … on the couch … in the dark … in disbelief, desperately needing a Breaking Bad cohort. I’d been waiting for it and now that it was here, I felt happy. I felt sad. I felt like Sundays were going to seriously suck now. I’d never see Jesse Pinkman or Walter White again. I was having withdrawals all night and the following day. I mean who could be without Jesse and his “Yo’s” or his famous “Yeah Bitch! Magnets!”
Genius. Sheer Genius.
And even though I was sitting there by myself, I experienced all these Holy Crap moments that were so amazing that I started having conversations with myself.
“Can you believe what happened?”
“Holy Crap! The Ricin was for Lydia. Lydia! Can you believe it! I never saw it coming. I thought it was going to be for Elliot and Gretchen Schwartz. I’ll never look at Stevia the same way again.”
“Holy Crap! Jesse finally escaped, and Todd is dead. Todd is dead!”
“Holy Crap Walt died. Heisenberg is dead!”
Dude.
I was talking to myself all night. I was so into it that I logged onto AMC with the rest of the nerd masses and watched some of the extended interviews. The “inside” information with Talking Bad.
Vince … you’ve done good. You’ve done good. And to think after all that you never took a Chemistry class.
Genius. Sheer genius.
But now that the genius is gone, I feel like Sundays are really going to suck now. It’s a good thing I have my Breaking Bad Final Episode Survival Kit.
Image via Amctv.com
Thanks for five great seasons.
The Guat
Dear AMC,
I know that some people say that television is bad for you and they even try to convince you not to watch it. People like Madonna I guess, but really she’s the “Material Girl,” so you can’t really trust her. Besides I think these people haven’t met you yet. You are definitely “Something More”.
First you hooked me up with Mad Men. I was intensely drawn to Don Draper, Joan, and Peggy and the drama that followed their lives at the advertising agency. It was a hold-my-calls type of show. I mean if I had people calling me I would totally hold my calls. It was a put-the-kids-to-bed-early-and-nobody-better-come knocking-on-the-door type of show. It was an awesome escape and so this is where it started.
This … this was the first show that had me hooked. And then I kept coming back for more. And you never seemed to disappoint me either. You’re not like the other networks that have good shows and then a couple of crappy ones. I mean really this other network has Person of Interest and The Mentalist, which are awesome. But then they have something called Big Brother.
Dude. Ridiculous. Shows like that give television a bad name. This is why I’m glad you’re here, because here is where “story” matters.
I don’t know how you do it. But you do. You have me on the edge every week. I’m the tweaked out nerd logging onto your website for the extra footage, interviews, or the Q&A. I’m the nerd that doesn’t allow people to change the channel even after the episode has finished, because I need to see the preview to next week’s episode. Yeah that’s me … I’m the one.
I mean how could I allow any channel surfing with shows like Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, The Killing, and Hell on Wheels. It just doesn’t happen. It’s not allowed. It’s grounds for divorce. I’m a total drama addict. I can’t enough of your shows. I don’t even trust the DVR … I have to watch them live. Although the DVR is awesome because I could fast-forward through the commercials so that I can get to the story even faster. Although sometimes I feel guilty about doing that considering how big a fan I am of Mad Men. But you gotta weigh the pros and cons.
And to be honest with you I didn’t think I would enjoy watching the dad who wore “manties” from Malcolm in the Middle in a drama. I was skeptical. But dude, Bryan Cranston rocks as Walt … A.K.A Heisenberg. He is meth king and it’s awesome. Yesterday’s episode was Guatacular in every way. I’m drawn to his anti-hero story and want to have him succeed and fail at the same time. It’s complicated. But I’m drawn to him, and to Jesse.
Image via AMC.com
Walt says stuff like:
“The universe is random. It’s not inevitable. It’s simple chaos. It’s subatomic particles in endless, aimless collision. That’s what science teaches us, but what is this saying? What is it telling us, when on the very night that this man’s daughter dies, it’s me who’s having a drink with him? How can that be random?”
“I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me? No, I am the one who knocks.”
And then Jesse says stuff like:
“…And let me tell you something else. We flipped a coin, okay? You and me. You and me! Coin flip is sacred! Your job is waiting for you in that basement, as per the coin!”
“What good is being an outlaw when you have responsibilities?”
Jesse: You either run from things, or you face them, Mr. White.
Walt: And what exactly does that mean?
Jesse: I learned it in rehab. It’s all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am.
Walt: And who are you?
Jesse: I’m the bad guy.
Dude I love this. And I can’t thank you guys enough for making Sundays awesome again. But if you can believe it, it doesn’t stop there. Aside from these awesome shows, you decide to have something called Mob Week.
Mob Week!
The Godfather Parts I and II, Scarface, Pulp Fiction, Goodfellas, The Departed, The Usual Suspects, and Mean Streets.
Dude.
I’m doing cartwheels. Literally. I’m not a criminal, or even a thug-like kind of person. I’m a nerd. A sporty one. I follow the rules. I walk a straight line, but this … this appeals to the hidden criminal inside of me. I thought Shark Week was amazing, but Mob Week rules.
Thanks AMC … you make like more dramatic for me … but in a good way.
Sincerely,
The Guat
For all you Breaking Bad fans … Foreshadow.
Last season’s cliffhanger, when Hank realizes who WW is … He reads the inscription and has a flashback.
“To My Other Favorite WW… It’s an honor working with you. — Fondly GB.”
“Who do you figure that is? Woodrow Wilson. Willy Wonka. Walter White …”
Walt raises his hands and responds.
“You Got Me.”
The pursuit of Heisenberg ends this season.
Foreshadow.
Thinking back to January … everybody’s doing it. Everybody is thinking back 365 days, giving the year-round wrap up of the highs and lows of 2012 … well mostly highs. Very few people want to share the crappy … but me … me … I give it all to you. But not today. Today it’s about a suave looking ad man, a meth kingpin, a motorcycle gang, a good wife, and a person of interest.
Today is not the year in pictures wrap up (that’s in a couple of days), or the life of Guat 2012 wrap up. It’s the holy-crap-I-wonder-what’s-going-to-happen-next wrap up.
Other than all the important things people wish for in the coming new year like health, good times, job security, or well wishes for their family, I’m also looking forward to — desperately looking forward to — what’s going to happen next. I know some people out there are like yeah … I don’t watch too much television, or I’m not into television. I read 24 hours a day. Me I read, yeah. I go out and have a life, yeah. I have adventures, yeah. I have great meals, yeah. But television … dude … I always make room for television. Always.
And next year … that DVR is going to be blowing up.
Image via AMCtv.com
Mad Men. Have you seen this television addiction? Don Draper. Genius Ad Man. Newlywed, possibly reformed womanizer. Dude … he left me thinking as he was sitting at the bar with his wife in the background and the hot lady down at the end of the bar. Feeling deflated that his wife had used him for a job, and disappointed with how it went down, he sits at the bar and ponders his future. Fade to black.
Dude, I want to know what Don Draper does that night, because you know it’s gonna be good. I wonder if he’s going to go back to his old ways and if he does how’s he going to work it. Gotta wait until 2013.
Image via AMCtv.com
Breaking Bad. Awesome cliffhanger. Walter White. Chemistry teacher with cancer, turned meth lab creator and ultimately a kingpin of the meth industry in Arizona … he finally decides to retire. He moves back in with his estranged wife and invites the family for a BBQ. Everything is hunky-dory until his DEA brother-in-law, who’s been trying to take down this unknown king of meth, decides to use the bathroom and finds a book on the toilet with an inscription that reveals Walter White’s secret identity. Fade to black. Dude. I know that he knows, but I want to see that happens when Walt knows. It’s unraveling and I want to be a witness.
Image via FXnetwork.com/SOA
Sons of Anarchy. I wrote an entire post on the season finale. I am so obsessed with this show, I could be classified as a stalker. Jax Teller sits there as his wife, awesome surgeon, gets arrested for conspiracy to commit murder and she didn’t even do it. I mean he sits there and does nothing as the sheriff hauls her away in handcuffs and her youngest cries. Nothing. Jax just sits there. I want to know who turned her in and what’s going to happen at the station? Is she going to jail? Is she making bail? Is she still going to get out of Charming and take the job in Oregon. She needs to win this power struggle with Gemma, her crazy biker mother-in-law, because the battle of the bitches is on.
Image via CBS.com
The Good Wife. Dude … no one is that good. Alicia Florrick. Get a grip, chick. I mean who sleeps with their soon-to-be ex husband, who was a lying politician, who slept with prostitutes and recorded it. Who does that? Just because time has passed and he was out of jail and re-elected to the District Attorney’s Office and supposedly trying to be a good Samaritan do you sleep with him again. Who does that? Just because your mom tells you that your soon-to-be ex husband is a jack ass and should leave you alone, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not true. Is she going to get back with Peter? Dude. I hope not.
Image via CBS.com
Person of Interest. Finch and John always rescuing people from ill will, usually murder, using The Machine to help them scope out the corruption and crappy people behind the drama. Crazy CIA and FBI agents on the lookout for them trying to take them down, partly because of The Machine’s existence and partly because John is ex CIA. Government … always trying to protect their secrets. The last episode? Finch gets caught with four others operatives and is taken into FBI custody. Dude. How’s he gonna get out of this one? I know Finch will find a way, but how … I’m waiting for the drama.
There were other shows burning up my DVR and television in all of 2012, but these were my top basic cable cliffhangers. I’d tell you about HBO or Showtime, but I’m on a budget and got to wait until Netflix releases them.
2013 is gonna be a good year for television holy-crap moments. I’ll be waiting.
No hors d’oeuvres. No nachos. No special drinks. No Emmy pools. No Red Carpet-like feelings. Just me with some Rold Gold Pretzels, trying to calm the family storm that comes with two kids and only one Wonder Pets Car.
The family chaos prevented me from being fully engaged in the The Primetime Emmys — a SuperBowl to television addicts like myself and my dad. I usually go all out. But apparently my other half forgot it was Emmy Awards night and decided he was going to wash the car … at six in the evening. Who washes the car at six in the evening? Who?
Someone who hates the television. It’s my only explanation. I mean I know it was 100 degrees in the afternoon and it couldn’t happen then, but why not wait until morning? Or why not wait until the car is actually dirty. I mean it’s not like we went off-roading or camping. It just had regular weekly dirt and toys inside for the kids. A couple of books. The stroller. Our beach supplies and maybe even some sand. Was it completely overwhelmed with clutter? No. It was just a really prepared vehicle in case of an emergency kid breakdown.
But he felt the need, the urge to clean it immediately before dinner, in the middle of the show. So my only conclusion was that he hated television. And me … I was left to control the battle for the Wonder Pets car, feed the kids, and try to watch The Emmys.
(Photo credit: nasa hq photo)
Although I’m kind of glad I wasn’t at the edge of my seat to witness my main men from AMC fall short of holding the golden statue.
Bryan and Jon, I thought one of you had it locked in for lead actor in a drama this year. Locked! I mean Walter White the badass meth cook who gets a little crazy and begins successfully running a drug empire after surviving cancer … c’mon now. And then there’s my main man Don Draper, a partner in the Sterling Cooper, Draper, Pryce Ad Agency who says stuff like … “You don’t cover for me, you manage people’s expectations.”
Dude.
My men and women from AMC fell short.
No statue tonight. Although Aaron Paul scooped up the supporting actor win for his role on Breaking Bad, and that helped improve the mood a little bit.
But the funny thing is that even though I attempt to incorporate humor in my everyday existence, and I enjoy watching movies that make me laugh, the humor category at these awards was not on the top of my list. Well not since Seinfeld went off the air. What takes priority here?
Drama.
This is a house of drama. We like to laugh, love to laugh, but AMC, HBO, and FX seem to dominate the DVR. So I was really disappointed to see my men and women not make it to the stage, hold their statue, and say some words. Although I think they were probably more disappointed. But I’m sure after a few drinks and conversations, they’ll head back to their million dollar homes and get over it — hanging out in million dollar homes will probably do that. I don’t know, I’m just saying.
As I was catching up on Breaking Bad episodes before the big season opener next week, I was reminded of a very important lesson. Now I’m not a criminal entrepreneur, Chemistry teacher gone meth lab consultant, or big muscle enforcer for suspect people, but I get it. Half Measures.
Breaking Bad (season 3) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Things in life shouldn’t be dealt with in half measures. Now this guy went a little bit too extreme with the example, but I guess sometimes extremes work. They catch your attention.
On the show the big muscle enforcer dude has a business talk with Walt — the main character. He tells him of his previous job and his run-ins with a domestic violence case. The enforcer dude came across this woman who wouldn’t press charges against her husband, because she feared him. The enforcer dude tried to convince her time and time again, but it wouldn’t happen. She’d get beat up, get sent to the emergency room, wouldn’t press charges, and go right back to her husband, who would eventually beat her again a couple of weeks later.
One night the husband broke her nose in the shower and they took her to the emergency room, and the enforcer dude had this guy in the back of his car. The wife beater began humming “Danny Boy” and the enforcer dude lost it. He pulled him aside, pulled out his gun and was ready to shoot him and bury him in the desert somewhere. But this wife beater began pleading and begging for his life, promising, swearing that it wouldn’t happen again.
Enforcer dude stopped to think about his actions. They stood there for a while, waiting. Enforcer reconsidered his position, put his gun down, and began the “if you-ever-do-this-again” speech and let the wife beater go. With a strong warning.
Two weeks later the wife beater killed her. He bashed her head in with a bat.
Enforcer dude tells Walt that he learned a valuable lesson that day. A life lesson. He should have gone all the way. He chose a half measure, when he should’ve chosen a full measure.
Kind of a scary lesson, but I agree.
Now learning something from a shady enforcer muscle type character on a gritty crime drama wasn’t something I was expecting to do on a Sunday night, but I did. Sometimes gritty crime dramas like these have life lessons that sort of pop out at you. And this one sort of caught my attention. The writers. It’s the writers. They’re pretty good.
While I’m not the enforcer big muscle type of person, I agree that in life, full measures should be taken. Now I’m not talking about domestic violence type of situations. I’m talking about life in general, trying to get the best out of it. My Happiness Project and Holstee Manifesto combined … Dance to your own rhythm even in public, savor every bite of food regardless of the calories, get the dreamer’s disease and follow passion, fly your freak flag, nerd flag, geek flag, your whatever flag, but just fly it.
Full measures. Good lesson.
The Wish Factor
The Wish Factor 