Words on Wednesday … An Unexpected Boost

This is when they all come out … The Top 10 Best Things to do on New Year’s Eve, The Top 10 Movies, The Top 10 TV Shows, The Top 10 Songs, The Top 10 Stories, Top 10 Exercises for Six-Pack Abs, The Top 10 Restaurants Top 10 Remedies to Get You Out of Your Rut … Top 10 Reasons Not to Care About Someone Else’s Top 10 Lists.

I imagine there were a lot of those lists piling up on people’s table tops or crowding people’s browsers this year. But these lists are not my jam. I tried one once but when it said that mayonnaise was an ingredient for chocolate cake I damn near lost it. In fact I did. Who. Does. That?!

Mayonnaise and chocolate.

Disgusting.

Made me re-examine the whole concept behind lists.

I mean they’re good for making you aware of events that you might have missed, but unless it’s written by someone you know, I wouldn’t put much weight on it, stick to your own opinion and balance it out with your own likes and intentions.

Like getting rid of bad moods or vibes. Don’t need a Top 10 for that one. Just tune into your being and see what works for you. Sometimes that same go-to solutions may not work and you just have to try something else. Feeling the funkiness fatigue of the grind hit mid-morning and it just ignited a burned-out-foul mood. I mean I was hot!

Even went out to a park, the one with the huge field and lots of space where we could be away from anybody if anybody were there, but that didn’t work. Walking among the trees and nature, feeling the sun, that wasn’t working it’s magic today. Perhaps the people taking a million selfies on the giant rock annoyed me too much. Couldn’t shake it loose.

Needed a boost from somewhere else…

I found it in an unexpected place.

I was supposed to help a friend of mine make some phone calls before the New Year. Big deadline tomorrow. I agreed to it last week and seeing how I still had that stank of a mood on me, I wanted to say I couldn’t make it today. But I was just giving my kids a lecture in the morning about keeping your word, and if you say you’re gonna do something, then show up and do it. Actions matter. Words matter. So I couldn’t really be a chump, a hypocrite.

So I fired up the computer, logged onto my email, and turned on my phone.

Got into the groove of the phone calls.

Some people were nice, others hung up, some didn’t answer. But nevertheless I was doing something for someone else. I was helping because I believed in them and what they were doing. By the end of the calls the funky foul mood feeling disappeared. And it wasn’t like I was building houses for people, or working in a soup kitchen, it was phone calls. Helping to make phone calls. Simplest of gestures, but it mattered.

Helping someone else get closer to their goals, their dreams … that made me feeeeeeeeeeeeeeel better. And that’s something I wasn’t looking for when I began. I wasn’t in it for me. My thoughts focused solely on helping out before the deadline. Adding my voice to ease the workload. But in addition to helping them, I also helped myself

The boost to get me through my funk sometimes doesn’t show up in a podcast, a book, a story, a show, movie, song, or workout routine. Sometimes the boosts comes from helping someone who needs a hand. I was glad to have turned the corner. And then when I walked out for some scooter time with the kids in the driveway the sky smiled down on me and the day ended with another a boost. I like closing it down on a good note.

🙂 even when there are storm clouds, the sky manages to bring its Crayolas and make you smile

Glad to have gotten two boosts in one day … both before the New Year.

Buen Camino my friends!

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Wednesday Words

Gratitude.

Even with a back injury laying me out for the past five days there were those yet moments where gratitude still snuck in, I mean you can’t be angry and frustrated while feeling grateful at the same time.

Icy Hot

Advil

Heating pads

Yoga mats for hardwood floors

Walking.

80’s music

Grateful that my back didn’t go out until after my friend’s birthday car parade. Purple balloons bring happiness. Seeing her and her family was reward enough, but I was blessed to catch the sunset on the way home.

Buen Camino my friends!!

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Mr. Rogers Would be Proud

I knew I had to go over the top on this one. Tiny little things nowadays help bring people joy. But I wanted to make it rain. The occasion called for it.

A couple weeks ago I recruited the help from a few of my college buddies when our alumni group tried to make graduation special for a few recent college graduates spread throughout the state.

I didn’t realize how much the sense of giving would provide such heartfelt happiness in my soul. I’ve participated in charity drives and good deeds, but this felt different. The surprise factor and expression of joy when she saw the caravan with balloons, and music blasting was epically rewarding.

See, I said I was dropping off a letter in her mailbox.

I’m not a fan of lying but it needed to be done. Chocolate special-ordered cupcakes, flowers, and a gift basket were involved.

To acknowledge someone I hadn’t even met with a random act of kindness of Publisher Clearinghouse proportions gave me such happinesses. An accomplishment that I’m well aware was a great challenge needed to be celebrated, even if it wasn’t in a stadium or auditorium.

My friends and I all chipped in for items in this care package and we made it as special as we could. Who knew cellophane would be hard to find during a pandemic? But details made it all the more special.

None of us knew who she was, all we knew was that she majored in Public Health. But by the end of that masked-socially-distant visit we welcomed her into the alumni world and offered her help beyond what was in the basket.

Being kind doesn’t take much. Mr. Rogers rocked it in his neighborhood. Offering it up without wanting anything in return makes for a better community. If someone is going through a tough time, or you want to help spread some sunshine on someone’s milestone or stepping stone, being genuine and kind is the way to go.

Giving to someone else expands your heart and elevates the good vibrations. I was so happy that we could brighten her day with such a surprise. One of the best Saturday mornings of the year. The laughter, smiles, and teary-eyed joy let us know we did good that day. Mr. Rogers would be proud. And I felt so blessed that I could do that with friends.

Buen Camino my friends!

I Laced Up My Shoes and I Kept Walking … I Hung in There

Having someone point out your flaws and make you feel pretty crappy on a day where love is supposed to be everywhere kind of sucked.

Mornings like that should be reserved for times when you have strength overflowing and your feel good-song constantly replays in your mind.

All this love was going around, everyone exchanging flowers, and balloons and chocolate and someone was pointing out that I yelled at my kids four times to listen and follow directions … It was pointed out to me that it wasn’t a good thing to be that kind of parent, or person.

You know, I know that sometimes my patience runs out and if my life would have turned out the way I imagined maybe there’d be less frustration when things went haywire. But it’s something I’m fully aware of … I’m mindful not to yell at my kids for no reason. I grew up with unecessary yelling and scolding, so I make it a point to not do that. I’m very aware of what that does to a kid. So I know I’m not angry all the time and I didn’t appreciate someone painting me that way.

People see you in a moment of frustration and they know you’re having a bad moment and they use it against you. They lay things out there and judge you when you’re drowning. And the thing is … They know you. They knoooooow you and yet they say something like that, something that just feels like a punch in the stomach.

It was pretty sucky, having that feeling all day.

But then I went to get my kids Valentine’s Day cards and I found something that made me smile.  A valentine I could have gotten for myself, or just an everyday card. Something that my dad might have gotten for me, and I found the grace I needed to move on.

 

 

I laced up my shoes and I kept walking. One foot in front of the other.

Buen Camino my friends.

 

 

 

 

 

Discover Challenge: Apology

Two words.

That’s all it takes.

Some people are not strong enough, big enough, human enough to say it. They don’t know the power behind it, don’t know why.

It helps glue the pieces back together. It works like a Band-Aid. It doesn’t necessarily stop the hurt, but it stops the bleeding.

It’s not that hard. It really shouldn’t be, because it’s a part of love. When you break someone’s heart, when you fail to be there, when cross the line, when you let someone down, when you make them ache, when you make them cry, when you make them feel less, when you’re unkind, when you make a mistake, when you forget, when they look for a friend and you’re no where to be found.

They restore.

It’s a step closer to forgiveness, but it makes it harder to forgive when the words are not there or when they’re empty. Sometimes they never will be there. It happens to a lot of people. They’re left there waiting for it. They deserve to hear it, but sometimes it never comes and what’s left is a hole that keeps getting bigger, and a struggle to keep going and push through.

But eventually, you come out the other side even if you didn’t hear it. You pushed through with the hole in your heart and know you were worthy of those words. You were worthy of them, and you move on.

You let go.

But it would have been so much easier had they said those words …

I’m sorry.

Yup, like a Band-Aid.

I’m sorry, works better than chocolate and wine.

 

Discover Challenge courtesy of The Daily Post.

 

40 at 40 Accidentally On Purpose Random Acts of Kindness … No. 29 Small Things

Everyone needs a moment of recovery …  everyone, especially the mother of a teenager. A teenage girl that is.

Yeah.

They’re a special bunch, and you see I wasn’t even looking for an opportunity to spread some Christmas cheer, but when a teenager and her diva sass make an appearance the opportunity sort of presents itself.

There I was at the 99 Cent Store buying some festive glitter action for the holiday season. When I began placing my items on the conveyor belt, I saw her walking across the store and stand next to the lady behind me.

Ugh.

The exasperated sigh.

I turned to smile at the lady who had just given me a compliment on one of Christmas centerpieces I was purchasing. She stood there with a giant sky blue CareBear and fuzzy socks.

Sigh. Again.

“Hello? What are you doing! What’s wrong with you? Didn’t you see me over there?” the teenager said waving her arms. “I was next! I was next! Why don’t you ever answer when I call you? I was calling you. Why don’t you ever answer? I was next and here you are standing in line doing nothing. What’s a matter with you?”

The mom didn’t even blink. She held her tongue as the rant continued.

“Ugh! Whatever.” The teenager finally said “Forget this. I’m gonna go wait in the car!”

I stood there while everyone looked on wide-eyed and surprised. I smiled at her and nodded. She looked back at me and grinned. I felt for her, I knew what it was like to be on that end of the teenager wrath as I had met a few of them during my teaching tenure in middle schools and high schools.

I was aware of this emotional and dramatic mood swing beast. I didn’t stand there in judgement. I had a 4-year-old daughter that would eventually be a teenager as well. I knew the beast may be in my future.

So as she stood there having her moment, trying to breathe and just survive the holiday season at a busy store the clerk rang up her purchases.

 

🙂

 

I dug inside my pocket.

“I got that for you,” I said as she was still a little zoned out.

I paid the clerk for her items and finished bagging mine. After a minute she seemed to realize what had just happened.

“No,no, no. You can’t do that. I got it, I got it.” She said.

“No,” I said. “Looks like you had a tough moment waiting in line, you need a little good. You need a good story today. Merry Christmas.”

As I walked away, she tried catching up in order to give me some money, but I assured her that everything was good. She smiled and thanked me after I turned down her money for the fourth time.

She was a having a moment, a mom moment, and I knew what those were like and how they felt. I knew the look of defeat, it’s hit me plenty of times in private and in public. And I also knew she needed a little kindness and a little grace. I knew that something small could help turn things around. So I decided to be that something small.

It felt good to surprise her, to see my small act of kindness touch her heart. I might not have changed her life, but I hoped I had changed her story that day. Sometimes all it takes is something small.

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40 Accidentally on Purpose Random Acts of Kindness Before 40 … No. 18, No. 19, No. 20.

For the most part I’ve learned that people welcome unexpected kindness. Most people that is. Don’t know if it’s because it’s random and unexpected and that’s what makes them happy, that’s what makes them realize that small blessings happen. Or maybe it’s because of the kindness itself and it’s such a relief because they’re having such a crappy week and they haven’t seen kindness in months. I don’t know I haven’t figured it out yet. But I’m kind of leaning toward the randomness factor, and the fact that the kindness came out of no where.

Then I realized people like it when it happens to them, but love it when it happens to their kids. So last week I decided to spread kindness to the minions roaming my neck of the woods and hopefully make the day in the life of their parents a little easier.

🙂

One of my first stops happen to be the pool and as all parents know you definitely need some Little Swimmer Pull-Ups when your kid decides to be Michael Phelps, but sometimes buying regular diapers and nighttime diapers can be expensive. So you tend to think twice about using those, you’re on a budget so sometimes you might save those if your kid didn’t pee in them. Or some of you out there just let them chance it. I mean you warn them to tell you if they’re going to pee to go ahead and tell you, until you realize that it’s been three hours and they haven’t peed yet and you remain suspicious of there will power, because it hasn’t happened before and you figured that they probably peed in the pool, and you hurry away before someone discovers you. Yeah…I’ve seen you. I stay away from your end of the pool.

So in an effort to make everyone’s life a little easier, I thought I’d leave a pack of Little Swimmers in the dressing room with one of my 40 Before 40 special notes, asking them to take one, some, or the whole pack. Hoping that some mom, who forgot her Little Swimmers, was relieved to see the free pack waiting for her at the diaper changing station.

Now I figured after swimming all day, you would build up an appetite, I know my kids do. And sometimes the pool is not always close enough to your house, or sometimes you’re just starving and can’t wait. We always seem to make it home, but I noticed that not everybody made it.

A few people had pulled up to the Del Taco near the aquatic facility. Now I’m not a big Del Taco/Taco Bell person, I usually just make those at home, but apparently nachos are nachos, and kids love cheese, and they love chips. Plus kids meals have prizes. Those always seem to rock, no mater what. So I got a kid’s meal voucher and then walked up to a mom and her daughter, handed them the kid’s meal coupon and smiled.

But aside from the necessities of parenthood, I thought some fun little extras would be a good surprise for parents and their kids. Hanging out at the zoo has always been a treat for my kids. It’s always been an awesome adventure and we tend to love hanging out in the tropical rainforest with the jaguars, or looking for the meerkat exhibit and watching them, or rushing up the hill to make it in time for the elephant show. We’re big on Wild Kratts over here, so going to the zoo is a monthly occurrence.

So when I saw a couple rushing to stand in line to purchase tickets for their family I thought it would be cool just to walk up to them, give them free passes, and say, “Hope you enjoy the zoo, have an awesome day.”

So I did. And I walked away before they could thank me, in fact probably before they could figure out what I had given them. But I’m sure they read the note I attached. By the time they had, I was long gone, checking out the seals.

I didn’t see the family inside, but I imagine they probably enjoyed the jaguars, meerkats, amd elephants too. I imagined they bought some kettle popcorn and lemonade and made their way through the park. I imagined they had a good story to tell their friends about how they got to the zoo late, how they were the last ones in line and how some random chick in a L.A. Kings hat just handed them some free tickets to go in … that would have made my day for sure. Hope it made theirs.

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