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Writer Wednesdays: Making an Andre Agassi Comeback

7 Sep

You woke up in the morning before the kids did, ready to write. It’s the only pocket of time you could find in the 24 hour period. You were pumped up with the I got this attitude!

But then you made the mistake of checking your email and then you saw it …

Dear Applicant …

Right there, right off the bat you knew something was wrong. They didn’t even have your name there. You were just “applicant” and then they followed it up with …

We regretfully inform you …

As soon as you hear those words, you know. You feel the punch in your stomach and a pain in your temples that makes you wince. The air is knocked out of you and a wave of sadness, insecurity, and doubt comes crashing in knocking you over. You turned in something you thought was one of your best works, you knew it, you believed it and the “congratulations,” would have validated that thought. But instead all the voices that told you, “maybe you should get a real job,” come rushing in and it hurts a little more.

You break a little, and your shoulders slump as the weight of the “No,” bears down on you as the sun rises. You feel broken and wonder if you should even apply to the other job or agent that’s sitting on top of your to-do pile. You wonder if you should even continue writing the next chapter. You can’t seem to find the writer in you and you a need a moment with all this heaviness that hit you this morning.

You don’t want to wallow in it, but all you do is feel the pain of the no.

But then something gets to you during a deep breath moment. Someone says something on a podcast that reaches your inner Andre Agassi and pulls him out.

“Let your dream be more important than any situation you got going on …”

You realize that you’re discouraged but not defeated. You’re looking for a comeback … an Andre Agassi comeback and it’s in you.

You remember how to pick yourself up off the floor, because you’ve felt failure before. Instead of being stuck in a moment that you can’t get out of, you break free. You lace up your shoes and go running. You grab your gloves and go a couple of round on the bag. You stop thinking I’m-not-where-I’m-supposed-to-be-right-now thoughts, and replace them with how-far-have-I-gotten moments.

You begin to turn the corner in between breaths.

The Andre Agassi comeback is on the horizon.

You turn on the computer and begin to type again.

You got this.

 

 

 

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22 … I’m Up For It, Are You?

2 Sep

Are you up for the challenge?

22 pushups a day. That’s all it takes. Sweating for a good cause to raise awareness about a topic that not many talk about but should.

Mental health. It effects every decision you make, from how you breathe, to whether you get out of bed in the morning and go outside, to handling business at work. Mental health issues effect us all, but today I’m talking about how they effect our veterans.

I learned about the challenge through one of the looooooooves of my life Jax Teller.

Sigh.

He rarely posts anything on social media, but had something to say about the suicide statistic regarding veterans. On average about 22 veterans are killed by suicide a day. When I heard that I couldn’t believe it! 22.

Raising awareness for mental health issues that lead to suicide is something I think is extremely important. Being able to educate ourselves, talk about it, and understand the problems and triggers that lead to thoughts of suicide can help someone change their course. Spreading awareness, education, and compassion can lead to change.

So are you up for it?

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I am.

This week I became part of the initiative trying to spread the word about #22Pushups and help the organization reach 22 million pushups. Every little bit helps. All of this in order to honor those who served and raise awareness for veteran suicide prevention.

22 pushups a day … for 22 consecutive days.

You got this.

 

 

I’m Usually Not a Diet Person But …

6 Jun

 

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Discover Challenge: Chance Encounter

11 May

I don’t run into anybody by chance, while clocking in at “the office,” because there is no office. I don’t run into anyone while I’m my lunch break, because I don’t get breaks. I’m not on a 9-5 schedule so most of my chance encounters happen with words.

I hear something that someone says in a movie, song,  book, lecture, Netflix, or in a documentary and it sticks.

It stays with me and changes something in me. It helps align things that are off-center, or gives me an A-Ha! Moment, or makes me feel like I’m on the right track. Sometimes it just opens my eyes when I had no idea they were closed. Sometimes it happens with people during unexpected moments in life, but most of the the time, it happens with words.

 

“The predicament that you are in right now does not define your destiny … You otta look at every negative situation in your house and say … you’re a liar! I don’t believe you.”

— TD Jakes

 

That was a good chance encounter.

 

 

Discover Challenge courtesy of The Daily Post

 

Writer Wednesday’s 

6 Apr

I generally like to think of myself as a badass who flies her  freak flag and lets her awesome whenever possible.

Skydiving doesn’t scare me.

Bungyjumping doesn’t worry me.

Hitting the dance floor, no problem.

Karaoke, don’t sing like Adele, but don’t care.

The one thing that does worry me? Concerns me? Brings some insecurity bubbling to the surface?

Opening night coming up in ten days.

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Program for the play … no this is not me … it’s the star. of the play


Eight plays. One festival. People I know, people I don’t know. Words coming to life on stage. First time that’s happened since that girl scout talent show in elementary school.

I’m excited, but worried at the same time. The words are gone, now in the hands of the actors. How I said them in my head, the little idiosyncrasies I imagined, how I saw it playing out, that’s  all gone. The words are on their own and I have to hope they were strong enough to carry my vision, and the lives of the characters I created. Don’t know if people will laugh, or remain unmoved. Don’t know what the other writers created. All I know is that I’m last on the lineup.

Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Won’t be sure of much until afterwards. In 11 days I’ll be all right, but for ten … Ten days insecurity will strike.

But I imagine that’s what all writers go through even if you’re confident in your work, even if you think it’s awesome … a little insecurity before the big day, before the book debut, before the movie comes out and before your play hits the stage, it happens, right? Insecurity hits us all while we’re waiting. Thank God for chocolate.
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Weekly Photo Challege: Harmony

9 Mar

 

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Finishing my morning run, thinking about More Cowbell! in my life, thinking about dreams and saying It’s Possible, appreciating the crispness of the air and brightness of the sunshine, I lay down on the grass and see the harmony of a California winter coming to an end.

 

 

Weekly Photo Challenge courtesy of the Daily Post

The Price is Right and The Universe Keep The Dream Alive

19 Feb

The Universe was conspiring with me that day, and strangely enough it used The Big Wheel from the Price is Right as its messenger.

It’s possible. That’s all you’ve got to say … it’s possible. When you lose perspective and the dream seems far away … it’s possible. When you’re stuck on a sentence and can’t find your way to the end … it’s possible. When you can’t find encouragement for your dreams within a five-mile radius … it’s possible. That’s all you’ve got to say and believe in order to get out of the dark.

I was slowly meditating on this message all morning, trying to get pumped up for a day of writing and editing and dreaming up book covers when it happened.

I turned on the T.V. I usually don’t turn it on when I’m working, it’s just not productive, but I wanted to listen to the smooth jazz station as I wrote, and so when I turned it on there it was …

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I hadn’t seen Bob Barker or heard the famous come on dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn since I was in junior high, or high school. But for some reason I had sat down because apparently there was a spin off going on and Drew Carey was explaining how if they landed on 5 or 15 they’d get $5,000 but if they landed on the 1oo they’d get $10,000 and the car, something like that. It was big.

So I had to watch.

First guy didn’t do it, ended up with 20.

However when the second guy’s spin began slowing down and tick, tick, ticking inching it’s way closer to the green and red numbers I became so invested in this dude’s luck. I was like … it’s possible. I was hoping for it.

It’s possible, right?

He landed on 100 and everyone exploded with excitement.

The universe is a trip.

I know there’s luck and statistics going on there, but that whole Price is Right spinoff so strengthened my belief in the “it’s possible” mantra. I finished my project that day and stayed on the positive tip for the rest of the evening.

 

 

 

Imaginary Friends Rock

11 Jan

It never fails.

I mean I know I’m not there, all glitzed out but it’s still very much a big part of my night. Although I don’t really care about all the glitz, I’m more about the substance. I’m more about all the times things didn’t work out, where failure happened, where you had to peel yourself off the floor, where they said ‘no, it’s not gonna happen,’ more times than you can count … but then you tried anyway.

That’s where it clicks for me, when there’s someone or some moment that reveals that climb.

It happened again last night when I saw Rocky himself take the stage to accept his Golden Globe.

I never met him, he has no idea I exist but I was inspired as I saw this underdog take the stage, and I guess so were his colleagues as they gave him a standing ovation. When you see someone whose worked so hard to get where they are and then get recognized for it, that just fills you with happiness for them, and hope for yourself.

He thanked those that helped get him there, but one person in particular stood out.

“… Most of all I want to thank my imaginary friend, Rocky Balboa, for being the best friend I ever had.” — Sylvester Stallone

I smiled because I knew exactly what he meant.

I had a great one growing up, was pretty awesome at playing Lite Brite with me. And now I still travel with all kinds of characters and hope to bring their stories, their A-ha! moments to life.

So after seeing Stallone, I got back to dreaming, got back to my computer and got back to typing away.

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Finding Our Own Adventure on Day One and Two

2 Jan

Signs from the universe are usually incognito for me, and I have to be a secret agent in order to discover a clue or what’s in store.

But not today.

When I saw this … I knew I had found my theme for 2016.

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Yup…Big Magic happening this year.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still on the quest for The Juice, finding pockets of it, keeping it, defending it, relishing in it, and maintaining it. This just added another level.

Whether I’m in the Great Outdoors, reading a book, watching a movie, writing my stories, parenting the crap out of parenthood, or hanging out with friends, I’m gonna find Big Magic, My Juice, Adventure in the year of Guat Flawsomeness, with stubbornness, humor, and gratitude. It’s gonna happen.

Now being that New Year’s Eve was the mark of endings and new beginnings I set out on a quest for all these things, not even knowing I had begun the journey. And even if New Year’s wasn’t filled millions of people, rock stars, and Times Square it was filled with an electric vibe and  adventure energy. I set a date with the most important people in my life … my kids. And we rang in the New Year with love, great food, and memories.

But it didn’t just stop there, it continued onto Day Two. And that surprised the hell out of me. Usually good vibes only last 24 hours before someone tries to take my juice away, but it was all good.

The Juice and The Adventure Seeking stayed in tact.

I was on a Buen Camino … Here’s hoping you are too.

 

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We started off with an amazing light show, with disco balls and music under the moonlight.

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Electric snowflakes in the Southern California sky.

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We watched magic storytellers illuminate the sky.

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This one was my favorite … made me feel like I had The Juice, and the adventures were unlimited.

 

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Feeling some love and strength in 2016.

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Loving the Easy Rider vibe.

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This looked like a guy who had found his adventures and loved them. I want me some patches like that.

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Star Wars was everywhere. This one was out of this world … and my son’s favorite..

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This one reminded me of my beloved Pinta … definitely missing my puppy.

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Brought out the history buff in me.

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Los Angeles sports fans definitely enjoyed this spectacular float. Swoosh!

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Then we headed home, like this Fearless Flyer, ready for another adventure.

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Flawsomeness and Juice

31 Dec

Goals. 2.0 better versions of yourself. To-do lists. Bucket lists. Happiness projects.

Yup. I’m one of those people. I didn’t used to be. Lists would burn me out. I’d never get to cross anything out.

I’d come up short all the time. But then something changed and I learned about silver lining playbooks, and finding and keeping those good-times-noodle-salad moments close.

I still fail, lots of times but I get off my beaten ass and try again.

I wanted the 2.0 version of myself, but the 1 1/2  life I’m currently living seems to be pretty badass at the moment, because I realized that I’m always undergoing construction, and humor and gratitude continue to be part of the blueprints that are helping build a better me.

With all the failures this past year, being able to focus on gratitude and what I got right, instead of what went wrong seemed to help minimize the breakdowns and tune into a more positive state of mind. Continually trying to write SNL skits of the not-so-funny moments in my life also seemed to help turn some difficult corners.

I was hoping for  a better year, just like everyone else.  I was hoping for more A-Ha! moments, more Super Soul Sunday moments. But most of all, I was hoping for more turning points, for finding them, for paying attention to them.

That’s what I set out to do at the beginning of the year, just find my turning points, find ways to thrive and I realized that humor and gratitude were gonna make it happen for me. When there was no more chocolate in the house, humor helped the disasters of parenthood and friendships gone bad. When frustration and profanity rose up because nothing seemed to be falling into to place, gratitude helped remember the good times with my kids, my staycations at the beach, my skydiving adventure, my triathlon victories, my message exchanges with WordPress buddies, my 40-year-old celebrations with my comadres, my morning Power-Hours, my Mixed-Tape Mondays, my chocolate cakes, and my cool-side of the pillow ZEN feelings.

I’ve kept my don’t-give-up attitude. I’ve found my turning points and been present within them. I became the stumbler, I didn’t build my life by being better than others, but by being better than I used to be.

I kept my 2015 plan in tact, and I’m better for it.

And so what’s up for 2016? What’s my plan?

I’ve been reminded that I’m Flawsome, and that there’s Big Magic out there for daydreamers that take action, and don’t give into the negativity that surrounds them. They embrace their flaws and live a creative life by “continually and stubbornly” trying to find the pockets of inspiration that give them the juice. Even when negativity surrounds them.

I’m looking to “continually and stubbornly” keep my juice.

 

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One page at a time, one day at a time. Writing this 365 page book with gratitude and humor. And Flawsomeness. And Juice.

Buen Camino.

 

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