You just can’t shake it off … when something triggers you, you just can’t let it go.
You replay it in your head. If you see it at school, work, home, TV it sticks with you if it’s especially surprising.
Seeing someone physically attacked and humiliated on live TV and then have multiple people make excuses for them burned me out.
Everyone has seen what happened at the Oscar’s. Everyone heard a bad joke, where half the crowd laughed and one person very obviously did not. So that started a chain reaction, apparently, which ended up ruining the Best Documentary Award presentation and perhaps drowned out the rest of the show.
A lot of people talked about situations having layers, and not sure what exactly went on, and equating alopecia to cancer treatments, or about comedians not being aware of everyone’s medical conditions, or about being the butt of jokes, about chivalry, about not sure what exactly happened even though hundreds of people saw exactly what happened.
Somebody hit someone else.
They weren’t being threatened. It wasn’t in self-defense, or for protection. Someone had something ELSE going on and they snapped and hit someone.
I found it enraging that someone laughed at a joke, then realized later that they shouldn’t have laughed, then decided to attack someone on stage. Then they sauntered back to their chair as if nothing happened.
And that’s the part … the part right there.
The one that triggered me.
The entitled part.
The swagger after hitting someone and knowing nothing would happen. It would still be your night.
That was enraging. So many people have that saunter. People feeling entitled enough to think they have a right to to do something outrageous and nothing will happen to them.
And guess what?
Nothing did.
In this case they weren’t escorted out of the room. They weren’t reprimanded.
In fact they won an award and were allowed to speak. Allowed to leave and party all night, no remorse. Smiling and dancing away … until the morning when damage control needed to be done and a written apology was sent out like an unvitation.
I didn’t even know these people. But the whole scenario bothered me so much. Nothing happened to them. There were no consequences and I think that’s the biggest burn. That happens on the screen and in real life. Some people don’t have consequences.
The no consequences. There was no immediate accountability. And since the event passed there probably won’t be, I mean what could the consequences actually be… sorry you can’t come next time?
That’s it?
Whether it’s NFL stars being excused from domestic violence, or police charges because they can catch a ball, to the privileged cheating the college admissions system, to the hypocrisy of politicians, to a greedy authoritarian ruler that bombs another country and kills innocent people because he wants to, to athletes doping up and still competing at the highest level, to people stealing catalytic converters and leaving you with the bill, to an actor hitting a comedian on live TV …
Accountability appears to be lacking on multiple levels in all aspects of life and this most recent public show of cowardice had me wishing for a future much better than that.
People in positions of influence or power constantly evading consequences that everyone else must own up to hits that pit of my stomach. The unbalanced scales still continue no matter how much progress we think we’ve made. It’s really frustrating and sad to see reminders of these when we’re all trying to find hope in our futures.
.
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Buen Camino my friends …
The Wish Factor 
We were talking that after that incident the show should have just been suspended and not continued on. What gets me is the talking about non-violence, empowerment/power and then there is violence. I can see both sides and sometimes I know it is hard to be the bigger person and like my mom would state act like a duck (let it roll). Resorting to physical violence though is wrong. I have seen too many incidents in the news lately of attacks (almost to death) on a person from a random stranger or strangers. I have a hard time wrapping my head around that and when in public I pretty much keep my head on a swivel. I do not get that level of rage and hatred. I was certainly not raised that way. I do understand if you are being attacked that sometimes the reaction is not always the best recourse, especially if it means protecting your life or your loved ones. Thanks so sharing. Take Care
The situation has gone and passed but it was a surprise and the whole situation was handled in a bad way. It’s really unfortunate that one person took so much from everyone else and was still consoled as if they were the victim when they were not. I hadn’t witnessed that on the big stage. But there are all kinds of people and character shows in difficult times. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Cali
The lack of accountability is maddening. In every single field and endeavor, it has become a matter of course. In politics, the left and the right accuse each other of breaking all the rules . . . unless it’s them doing the breaking, of course. It’s hard, nay impossible, to have a political hero in this climate.
In sports, we know the deal. If you have game- Antonio Brown- the game will have you, in spite of your worst behavior. The sports leagues make stands on guys like Kaepernick- whose only crime was making a social statement. I guess he would have had more luck beating on a woman. Sounds exaggerated, but is it?
And Will Smith. I think he’s not jiggy with his personal life with Jada and Chris Rock was in the wrong place with the wrong line. But yeah, what is the message when Will is allowed to stick around after that? I love Will but what’s wrong is wrong.
Great piece of writing.
I know it’s been forgotten and moved up to next news cycle but I agree with the lack of accountability. It’s ridiculous and it happens whether it’s televised on the big stage or not. It’s extremely aggravating but just another day in trying to be a better person, working twice as hard even though some get a pass. Hoping that all the daylight will at least give people second thoughts on their jackass behavior because real consequences seem to be lacking. So he doesn’t get to sit in an auditorium and watch in person, but he can party at all the parties. That was dumb. In any case I send you good vibes and hope your week starts off well 🙂
And it goes on and on. Now we get to hear about all of Jada and Will’s dirty laundry as Rock sells out all venues he performs at. And it really feels like our world went full satire after 2016. Anything, even the most absurd thing, doesn’t faze us any longer. And what’s worse?
We want more.
Well, some peeps do. As for you and me, we are proof there is hope for humankind. I think we differ on a lot of things and yet, we understand what communication and debate and dialogue mean. I don’t know why that stopped being a thing in this world, but it’s sad.
I’m sending you good vibes right back. And sunshine. And waves.
PS- Have you checked out Winning Time on HBO Max? What a trip!
The Oscars violence and assault enrage me too, but more enraging was how people took it lightly when they witnessed it live on stage. It was a crime, it was an unacceptable violent behavior. It was the wrong message to our young minds when hate and violence is already on it’s all time high.