I had my doubts, but the universe kept pushing me in that same direction and now in retrospect I guess it was a good idea.
Instead of staring at it and feeling like a failure for not getting there, not being even close to reaching it, or not meeting certain goals, it just sat there as a friendly reminder … ‘hey you memmmmmber?’
Not attacking me. Not judging me. Just a ‘hey I’m still here.’
Just a small nudge in the right direction. Something to look forward to, something that might happen someday, or something that might happen on a random Wednesday.
Vision boards, Words of the Year, Feel Good Songs of the Year. All of this helped me push through 2020.
Boost. That was my 2020 word. That’s what I relied on … Boost and Mary J. Blige.
The universe working it’s magic to help pull me closer inch by inch. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I was more conscious of it, or maybe it served its purpose. But I found these two prospects of positivity pushing me through when I was down on the ground after a rough fall looking for a band-aid in an empty box. Or they kept me going, through my creative recovery, my arms raised during the little fist bumps of celebration.
Intentions, Goals. Resolutions. Steps. Whatever you want to call them, I looked back at the last 12 months, I looked back at Page 1 to see what I had done. I realized that even through the pandemic and all the personal drama of a Telenovela existence, I ended up blessed. That little reminder that your photos app sends you as the month is coming to a close, the little photo album it puts together for you, reminding you of your highlight reel, I flipped through it already. I looked over all the photos on the phone and remembered why they were worth taking. I made picture-worthy moments, some I didn’t even catch on camera, but knew they were in the memory bank.
Vision board kept me focused and dreaming. Boost, my word, kept the drive going, that little extra umph I needed sometimes, that Jamba Juice boost they give you at the smoothie place, that Vitameatavegamin to remind you of the reserve left in the tank. And Mary J … she woke me up! She kept the vibe going through music, giving me the feels when I needed strength to keep moving, the beats to help me get my groove back, my strut! I got to where I needed to be, and I finally reached a stepping stone and that was a good thing. Anything that keeps me going forward in a year where things felt so stagnant was a bonus. I took a look back and felt grateful for the direction …
Felt grateful for the mini-vacation that came along with a hockey tournament before the pandemic, grateful for the parade float presentations with the kids, for the Outdoor Staycations, for stories on Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon, for Ben & Jerry’s and Parker Brother board games to help with the cabin fever, for the blessings of health and my noisy kids, for quiet morning runs, and epic playlists, for accomplishing creative deadlines and getting up when I got knocked down, for World Series Championships and water balloon baseball with the kids, for bike riding, baking, and badminton, for sunsets painted with Crayola crayons and palm trees, for the peace that Bob Ross spreads, for the sunshine and waves of the beach and hidden lagoons away from the city and for the Saturday Morning Cartoon feels on any day of the week. This is what Boost and Mary J helped give me.
So … I go again.
And my love for movies and great characters helped pick out this year’s word, although with the surprise pandemic that hit 2020 it could have been last year’s word, and that would have fit so well. But I felt that I would continue my forward movement and this would definitely help especially when we’re so close to turning the corner …
I know Stan Lee had a special relationship with the word and I like him, onward and upward. But I got my significance from Pat Solitano …
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“… I’m gonna take all this negativity and use it as fuel and I’m gonna find the silver lining. That’s what I’m gonna do. And that’s no bullshit. That’s no bullshit. That takes work and that’s the truth.”
I didn’t like that saying … the silver lining. Ever since college I’d exhale and roll my eyes, it would burn me out. But looking at it from a different angle, from Pat’s angle, it’s a good spin. And it’s hard work. In the end it will help find the blessings in life and realize what you’re grateful for so that you can keep moving forward. And forward I learned is a direction that’s good, even when it feels like slow motion.
Excelsior and Forward.
That’s what Page 1 of 2021 is looking like … accompanied by an awesome playlist of course — the kind that reminds you to strut your stuff because you’re walking on sunshine and deserve to be.
Buen Camino my friends …
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Katrina and The Waves — Walking on Sunshine
Sir Roosevelt — Sunday’s Finest (the original video is amazing if you can find it, but for some reason I couldn’t)
Pete Townshend — Let My Love Open The Door
The Rolling Stones — You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Los Tucanes de Tijuana — La Chona
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Buen Camino my friends!
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The Wish Factor 