Alive … Alive in Wet Sweatpants

13 Mar

From what I can remember … it’s only the third time I’ve peed in my pants.

Laughing and jumping rope sort of get things started. But it’s not a full-blown-change-your-pants-kind-of situation. Although it happens to a lot of moms. But near-death experiences seem to result in the change-of-clothes situation for me.

I blame it on coconut shavings from the Pinkberry toppings counter and baby carrots, and the fact that it’s dangerous for me to eat these things when I’m alone. Apparently it’s not safe for me to do so, and I certainly can’t do it while I’m walking upstairs either.

Life lessons. They’re important. Chewing is important.

It’s been proven as I had my life replay in slow motion because I’ve lacked perfecting this skill still.  Kodak snapshots coming into focus like Polaroids ran through my mind today as I gasped for air. I busted down the bedroom door like the leader of a S.W.A.T. Team gesturing for my napping mother to smack my back. I didn’t mean to scare the crap out of her, but I did. I tried to assure her that I was all right, I just needed her to smack me because gasping for air is no joke.

Carrots, like the coconut shavings on top of Pinkberry frozen yogurt, can go down the wrong way and block your windpipe or whatever tube allows you to breathe. Thus leaving you pondering about your life while someone is slapping you on the back.

After a couple of minutes, which felt like the longest minutes in this time-space continuum, I spit, I coughed, I peed, and then I spit some more until the airway cleared up.

It was scary for a minute there, and it was something that had people concerned. But once I caught my breath, a huge wave of relief filled me up.

I wasn’t dying.

Not today anyway.

Just needed to change my pants.

The force of my coughs was so powerful, the will for me to get air was so strong that it overpowered my bladder and just emptied it out. And I laughed, because it was funny. And because I could breathe.

I was alive.

Alive in wet sweatpants and that’s all that mattered.

I wasn’t looking for the meaning of life afterward, or anything like that, but I was in a deep state of gratitude for being able to get through that one. I was grateful to have hugged my kids that day, grateful that my mother was hear to smack my back, grateful that I have a strong will to survive, grateful that I remembered pieces of happiness in my life and knowing full well that I wanted more of them, grateful that I was grateful.

I remembered my most recent moment of zen and I took a deep breath. It was a good image to remember, has a funny adventure attached to that picture but that’s a story for another day … today … today I share the picture that brought me zen in my wet sweatpants, so I share it with you and hope it brings you good vibes.

 

IMG_2010

Hiking brings you Zen moments sometimes.

 

Buen camino my friends!

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7 Responses to “Alive … Alive in Wet Sweatpants”

  1. ksbeth March 14, 2019 at 2:33 AM #

    wow, glad you are okay and what’s a bit of water between friends after all?

    • The Guat March 14, 2019 at 5:46 PM #

      I know right? Crazy how this happened. But I’m all good.

  2. Sorryless March 14, 2019 at 4:04 AM #

    Cali,

    How scary it is inside those moments, thinking to yourself “Yep, this is how it ends,”.

    This kind of experience puts wetting your pants in perspective, indeed.

    Glad you’re okay, chica. 🙂

    • The Guat March 14, 2019 at 5:48 PM #

      Thanks! I’m glad I’m all right too. That was something … so glad peeing in my pants helped enlighten me a bit and appreciate that hike and the view.

      • Sorryless March 14, 2019 at 6:02 PM #

        It’s all about perspective.

  3. bgddyjim March 15, 2019 at 12:11 AM #

    Glad you’re okay!

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