Introducing Me To Clint Eastwood

18 Jun

On quiet nights like this I miss seeing his briefcase by the door, his white butcher coat and shirt laying on the armrest, and the smell of the coffeemaker percolating the night’s brew. Night time coffee and HBO on a Saturday night. That was him.

Tonight it’s quiet, no briefcase, no white coat, no baseball caps, no coffee percolating and no HBO talk. Just me and some laundry.

I passed by the CVS the other day and saw all the Star Wars Father’s Day cards, I saw the funny ones with pets, the ones with fishing poles, golf clubs, and cartoons. I still read them, but it hurt. It hurts to buy cards he’s not going to read or keep in his briefcase. It hurts missing out on conversations about life and Father’s Day dinners.

dad over me fathers day

At times like this when breathing becomes hard because you miss someone so much, I find comfort in storytelling. Story remembering, really. I try to write as much as I can now so that my kids will be able to see how I saw my father and how I felt. So that my kids will know their grandfather had a good heart, that he had problems too, but that he tried. He tried and he kept his heart in tact during the process.

He suffered the loss of his Dad too, just when he was 10, and his life couldn’t have been easy, but he tried his best. He battled depression during my youth and adulthood, and often felt like giving up, but he still tried.

Adventures. Staycations. HBO marathons. Superbowl games. Boxing matches. Supermarket trips. Baskin-Robbins outings. Movie discussions. Costco adventures. Theater excursions. Joke telling stories. And talks. Lots of talks.

Sometimes the missing out is the worst part … my kids missing out on him, missing out on creating their own adventures with grandpa. So I’m hoping the storytelling will create a good picture. I’m hoping they’ll get to know him through my stories and through their grandpa’s adventurous and humorous spirit that lives inside of them.

He liked Westerns. He liked Clint Eastwood. So I found it interesting that Clint would be on TV the night before Father’s Day.

I found it comforting to know that I was watching one of his favorites, while folding laundry in the night time quiet. I figured he might be having a cup of coffee. Black. Two sugars. And remembering stories about me, remembering my dreams, remembering my laugh, remembering all the Father’s Day cards in his Samsonite briefcase, remembering how he introduced me to Clint Eastwood.

Clint Eastwood … he turned out to be all right.

Happy Father’s Day …








4 Responses to “Introducing Me To Clint Eastwood”

  1. anotherday2paradise June 19, 2016 at 12:06 PM #

    A very moving post, TG. I’m also remembering my dad today. I think he battled with similar problems to those which your dad did. I wish I could have him back even for just one hour, so we could chat and have a few hugs. ❤

    • The Guat July 5, 2016 at 11:17 PM #

      This day is always a tough one. You remember things they battled as well as things that made them laugh and made you happy. The whole package, but you focus more on the hugs and happy parts, those parts always make you feel good. And I totally agree with you … that one hour … man! Be one of the best hours of my life.

  2. Dentler Erdmann June 24, 2016 at 8:58 PM #

    Great article. Of course, he was important to me because he brought, or helped bring, you into my life. That . . . and he was the bartender at Kelbo’s.

    • The Guat June 30, 2016 at 8:01 AM #

      Ahhhhhhh Thanks Erdie! He was a pretty cool dude. Kelbo’s that’s funny. That reminds me of hanging out at the restaurant and drinking my Roy Rogers or Shirley Temples with umbrellas in them. Oh! I think you’ve inspired another post! I actually have a couple pics of him at Kelbo’s. 🙂 Good to see you here.

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