I remember standing up on our brown cushy couch figuring out the angles, measuring the distances, and then jumping off, soaring really, and doing my best Jake the Snake impression on my imaginary wrestling partner. The referee would dramatically slide next to me and pound on the mat.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The winner and newwwwwwww champion The Guat!
Ahhhhhhhhhh! The crowd would roar as I held up the belt.
All of this taking place in my best whisper voice ever as it was the quietest Royal Rumble. My mom didn’t appreciate the sport much, or the fact that I’d be jumping off the furniture.
But even though it was hush-hush I’d still battle them all, Andre The Giant, Ravishing Rick Rude, The Million Dollar Man Ted Diabiase, The Iron Shiek, King Kong Bundy, and Rowdy Roddy Piper. Other than Andre the Giant, Rowdy Roddy Piper was pretty tough in the ring. He was always so sneaky, like all villains should be, but I still kind of liked him better than the other villains.
We’d have epic battles, where my participation on the ultimate wrestling team of Jake The Snake, Randy Macho Man Savage, Hulk Hogan and The British Bulldogs, was crucial. They couldn’t have done it without me.
I remember the WWF as being a big part of my childhood, just like Saturday morning cartoons. So when I heard of Rowdy Roddy Piper’s death, it was kind of sad, like a piece of childhood had gotten smaller because of his absence. Even though he was a “bad guy” in the wrestling world, with his sneaky eye pokes, it was sad to hear of that loss. His death reminded me of all those Royal Rumbles I had at my house and how fun it was to imagine winning the championship belt, or just getting the three count from the ref. It took me back to some childhood moments that made me really happy.
And so today I remember Rowdy Roddy Piper and the WWF days of the past. I thank him for the good memories.