If I hadn’t been present in the moment, I might have missed it.
A small shift was taking place, and I was there, and I was grateful for it.
As my whole 40 Before 40 journey continues I’ve come to realize that I wasn’t taking on this challenge to score points with Karma or to get a thank you, really. It was more of a “something” I wanted to accomplish before I hit 40.
People take stock of their lives every time a birthday comes along, but even more so when they hit a decade. After checking out what was in my cart, I’ll have to admit, I was burned out about the distance between where I was and where I thought I’d be at 40. It appeared to be a pretty big gap.
There was chocolate involved.
Now that I’m in the middle of this 40 Before 40 challenge the gap is not as humongous as it was before, but it’s still a marathon-worthy distance. The only difference is that my perception of it has changed. I still get down in the dumps, but it doesn’t last as long.
Being able to help people out during random parts of their day and imagining their relief and smiles when they thought the universe brought them something other than stress made me feel pretty good. I envisioned some people looking around for bit, and then just looking up to the sky in gratitude.
And as my random acts of kindness continued, I learned to feel more gratitude myself, to find moments throughout the day or remember moments from the day before. I learned to practice gratitude more.
And that’s when grace found its way to me.
I wasn’t waiting for it, just sort of happened. I was out for my morning run, rounding the corner of the block, appreciating the silence of the morning when I remembered the words I had heard the night before.
“…Grace is like rain it falls on everyone…”
I never really saw myself as someone with grace, I figured it was someone of the elegance and poise. I didn’t think I fit that mold and then it happened.
It started raining.
The clouds began rolling in, covering the sun and the rain just came pouring down.
I stood in the middle of the street, looked up at the sky, took a deep breath and smiled. The universe had given me it’s own random act of kindness. Something I had heard during last night’s meditation that have given me a positive vibe and some hope had actually happened. A message that there was something more had found me.
It wasn’t dramatic, like lightning striking, but it was definitely poetic and definitely appreciated. Karma had returned the niceties of the week. It made me feel what I imagined others felt when random acts of kindness crossed their paths. The pool passes I gave to some kids, the sleeve of golf balls I had given a family walking into the driving range, and the important medical board testing admission letter I returned to some chick after pulling it out of some muddy corner.
I didn’t expect something nice in return for my 40 Before 40 last week, but the universe sent me a message, maybe it was Dad. I don’t know. But what I do know was that I was grateful for that moment.