Advice From The Pick-Up Artist

19 Dec

Now there you are … exhausted from sitting. Don’t know how that can happen but it does.

I think it has something to do with the circulated air. Or perhaps it’s the fact that you were sitting next to a stranger who took up most of the arm rest and you were involved in a silent and secret battle for arm rest territory, but you’re losing and you think it has to do with the fact that you’re not very good at the game Risk, and now in retrospect you feel you should have paid attention when your brother was trying to play with you on game night.

Maybe that’s why you’re burned out.

I don’t know, whatever the reason is you’re exhausted and if you have kids this whole scenario is multiplied by ten thousand, because when dealing with kids they intensify any experience … the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Yup I’m talking about airplane travel, but not so much the traveling part. I’m not an expert in that and I know people all over the web are shelling out advice on how adventures on an airplane can go more smoothly for you this holiday season.

No. I’m not talking about that.

I’m talking up the Pick-Up.

I’d like to say that I’m an expert traveler and I get on planes often checking destinations off my Travel Bucket List, but that’s not really the case. I’m more of the picker-upper. I’m the master pick-up artist. That’s where I can be of service to you.

Now throughout the years I’ve picked up my share of friends and family from the airport, and I’ve been picked up a few times and I’ve noticed the difference in people’s attitude when getting picked up. I mean people can be on the same plane and have the same disastrous experience but the pickup situation is completely different, because some people are just born with what my blogging buddy Susie calls “sunny-side up” disposition, while others are just an earthquake wrapped up in a hurricane. So let me fill you in on some guidelines for being picked up so that things can go smoothly post-airplane ride.

1. Remember … they are doing you a favor by picking you up. You could have actually taken a shuttle and paid a complete stranger to take you home.

2. The first thing to come out of your mouth shouldn’t be ‘where the hell have you been?’ if they are five minutes late … the words “Thank you,” work wonders. However if they are an hour late hostility is understandable.

3. It is not their fault that the airline lost your luggage so don’t get crazy on them.

4. Your picker-upper is probably happy to see you. They’re picking you up so try to limit your eye rolls and smile.

5. If you’re not happy to see your picker-upper, or you think you won’t be, then it’s best to just get on the shuttle, spending money on the ride home and in the company of a stranger will be worth it.

6. If traveling with kids don’t expect people without kids to understand your plight. They have no clue so you’ll have to fill them in on your post flight needs.

7. Unless they’re a mom, most people don’t carry snacks so if you’re hypoglycemic pick up a snack on the way to the baggage claim and save everybody from your crankiness. Snickers are an awesome post flight snack. Have you seen the commercials, can totally change your personality.

8. Sometimes they are actually on time and you are the one that’s late, take into consideration that the police has asked them to move their vehicle and sometimes making the loop around the airport may take up to 10 minutes.

9. I know you probably just want to get home and relax from all that sitting, but don’t get upset if they have to stop for gas or pass by the drive-thru after they pick you up, they probably thought it was more important to get there on time than to fill their tank or buy fries.

10. Traffic exists.

Hope this picker-upper advice helps diffuse any aggression you might have during your traveling adventures.

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3 Responses to “Advice From The Pick-Up Artist”

  1. 1pointperspective December 20, 2014 at 4:41 AM #

    Ever since they put a cell phone parking lot at my main airport, pick-ups have improved considerably. Now if they would install a tiki bar next to it….

    • The Guat December 20, 2014 at 7:09 PM #

      Duuuuuuude that would have solved all my problems with hostile family members who get crazy for being a minute late . Luckyyyyyyy!

      • 1pointperspective December 21, 2014 at 5:26 AM #

        There are people in the greater Philadelphia area who still don’t believe the airport could come up with such a free, convenient thing, and insist on parking on the shoulder of I-95. Those poor cynics are risking their lives out there.

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