At The End Of The Final Ride It Was Fan vs. Writer

10 Dec

Have you ever killed somebody and then regretted it later?

I mean you planned it for days, weeks … dude even months carrying out all the details, envisioning out all the scenarios, and trying to answer all the what-ifs in your mind. Trying to make the perfect plan.

And then you do it … it’s done.

At first you feel great about it … it had to be done, there’s no other way. But then something tugs at your heart, and it sits heavy on your chest. You begin second guessing yourself wondering, did that have to happen?

Yeah writers got problems.

As a writer I know where the story has to go and what the characters have to do in order to stay true to the life of the story, I know it. But sometimes the emotion of the fan inside me gets in the way and I struggle. But this tends to happen more while reading or watching someone else’s story, and not so much when it’s my own.

This is what happened last night during the two-hour series finale of the most dramatically intense Emmy-and-Golden-Globe-worthy show I’ve ever seen. But they have yet to receive one. It’s like that one great player that never got the championship ring.

Sons of Anarchy ended last night and I can’t even begin to tell you about how the finale made the fan and writer inside me feel. It was a a battle. Had that same feeling of mourning I did with the The Wire, Breaking Bad, LOST, 24, and Friday Night Lights.

Dude … if you haven’t caught up with all the Anarchy then you best stop reading …

“I’m sorry, JT. It was too late for me. I was already inside it. And Gemma … she had plans. But it’s not too late for my boys. I promise, they will never know this life. I understand who you are now. What you did. I love you, dad.” — Jax Teller



Did our hero have to die?

Yeah, I guess he did.


Kurt Sutter

Kurt Sutter

In true form, writing genius and creator Kurt Sutter had to keep the story honest, so yeah I guess Jax did have to end it. Jax arrived at the same crossroads his father, John Teller had come to years earlier. Only this time Jax was going to get it right.

“I realized a good father and a good outlaw can’t settle inside the same man.” — Jax Teller


The fan inside me was hoping there would be another way to keep him riding all the way until the end, just like I had wished for his best friend Opie and his wife Tara.



I was rooting for it. You know me, I love the underdog story. But the writer inside me knew the tougher choice needed to be made and the series had to end with his death. It was for the sake of the story. There was no other ending that seemed right and with that heartbreak came and engulfed me.

So with this crisis and epic sadness over the end of my favorite show and the death of Jax Teller, I began to wonder if other writers had the same issue. Do you ever struggle with that or is it just when watching other stories unfold?

Undergoing the loss of a character is a tough thing for both the fan and the writer in me, because he wasn’t just black and white. He was layered with complexities just like us … he was a good man within the criminal world. He was the good, the bad, and at times the ugly. But in the end he went out like a hero and made the ultimate sacrifice for his boys and for his club.

And even though I knew it was going to happen the fan in me hoped that it wouldn’t. But the writer understood and sadly I’m still all tore up over it. It was one hell of a final ride.

Don’t think I have enough chocolate for this one.



5 Responses to “At The End Of The Final Ride It Was Fan vs. Writer”

  1. susielindau December 11, 2014 at 6:52 AM #

    I’m still getting over the loss of Edie Britt on Desperate Housewives!

  2. anotherday2paradise December 11, 2014 at 11:35 AM #

    I haven’t seen any of this series. Have I really missed out?

    • The Guat December 11, 2014 at 8:20 PM #

      Duuuuuuuuude. Yes! I would definitely start one of them very good writing and strong characters. Loved them.

  3. Krystal December 31, 2014 at 1:07 AM #

    This is so completely spot on, Guat. I teared up all over again reading this post because it truly was one of the most profound moments in television. In fact, this show was one of the most brilliant things I’ve ever watched. It was a “pain that hurt so good” kind of situation and the writer in me also knew that his death was inevitable, just like the fate of Juice and Gemma. However, like you, I spent the entire episode catching my breath, hoping against hope that somehow Jax would survive, but in true Sutter fashion, I also knew that was impossible. We know he isn’t about candy and teddy bears, he is a mad genius who knows exactly how to construct a story that rips us open and makes us forget that it is fiction. It was so damn real that I feel like mourning every single death and visiting them at the graveyard. (I know, super dramatic. Haha!) Anyway, great post and I’m glad to know another SOA lover. Oh and I finally watched Friday Night Lights, per your recommendation a while back, and I LOVED it! Was totally Netflix binge worthy. 😀

    • The Guat December 31, 2014 at 8:48 AM #

      Duuuuuuuuuude first off … You were not super dramatic it’s SOA and it requires all your love because it was that amazing so much so that when I wear my SAMCRO shirt in public I get love and smiles from at least one other fan who shares the same OH MY GOD sentiment. I so wanted to visit all the graves myself particularly Opie, Tara, and my Jax. Duuuuuude was so hoping against hope like you but when you’re a genius writer like Sutter you gotta be true to story. Loved that you loved the show and that we can console each other on the loss. :). And … And! So glad you finally watched Friday Night Lights duuuuuude loved that show! We totally have to chat about that one although I know you’ve heard my love for that already.

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