Beach Etiquette, Jackasses, and Karma

26 May

I didn’t think I’d have to explain it. I really didn’t … but apparently there are still jackasses that roam the beaches of my city.

Selfish jackasses.

 

Do you see them out there ... because there was a big one. A big one today.

Do you see them out there … because there was a big one. A big one today.

 

And apparently logical explanations are something that they don’t understand … well at least she didn’t.

 

This is her ... this is the jackass that almost ruined my day. The one that gave me that road rage kind of feeling and I wasn't even driving.

This is her … this is the jackass that almost ruined my day. The one that gave me that road-rage-I-want-to-choke-this-person-kind-of-feeling and I wasn’t even driving.

 

Every Memorial Day weekend masses of people hit my local beach spot. Masses and I’ve gotten used to the extra people hijacking my personal space because they are too lazy to walk 10 more feet and get their own personal space. But no matter how smooshed together we get, people always leave you a view. It may not be as large as it use to be, but it’s still an unobstructed view.  And it’s yours.

This is the etiquette. This is common sense if you’re not a jackass.

So when this jackass and her family decided to show up two hours after I arrived and plant this monstrosity right in front of me …. like … right in front of me …

 

Can you believe this? Life three feet in front of me when there was space on the left and right of me a couple yards away.

Can you believe this? Like three feet in front of me when there was space on the left and right of me a couple of yards away.

 

I turned into this …

 

Heisenberg came out.

Heisenberg came out.

 

I explained their inconsiderate behavior to them. I explained that even though it was massively crowded, that it was a controlled chaos. Everyone was staggered. Everyone. I explained that if they had a regular beach umbrella there really wouldn’t be an issue, but seeing how they brought a tent with them, that seemed to change things a bit. But apparently they said I didn’t have any claim to the beach and they could do whatever they wanted. I said I wasn’t claiming the beach, just the spot in front of me and that lazy people like them should have woken up earlier if they wanted a nice spot. I explained to her that everyone woke up today and decided not to be a jerk, everyone except her with her big blue umbrella. She didn’t seem to agree with me. She didn’t seem to think she was being an ass.

I wondered where the hell  karma was … she never seems to be around when you need her.

And then after a while … she showed up.

When we got a chance to experience the beach festival on the north side and she didn’t … I thought … Oh duuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Nice.

 

 

First we started off with bubbles. Nothing like bubbles to get you going ...

Nothing like bubbles to get you going …

 

Then my son decided to enter the hula-hoop contest and master the five-year old division.

After all that bubble magic, my son decided to enter the hula-hoop contest and master the five-year old division.

 

We headed off to the beach to practice some boogie boarding and ran into an awesome lady.

We headed off to the boardwalk to practice and ran into an awesome lady.

 

On our way there we noticed the artwork in the sky and decided that we needed to create our own Guat kites.

On our way there we noticed the artwork in the sky and decided that we needed to create our own  aerial artwork.

 

My daughter hard at work

So my daughter decided to let her inner Monet out.

 

As we took them out for a test drive I was worried they wouldn't fly right away. However, my son and daughter were firm believers and successful flyers. That definitely made my day.

As we took them out for a test drive I was worried they wouldn’t fly right away. However, my son and daughter were firm believers and successful flyers. That definitely made my day.

 

We ended the day with a tug of war ... something that's been on my son's Sandbox Bucket List.  :)

We ended the afternoon with a tug of war … something that’s been on my son’s Sandbox Bucket List. 🙂

 

 

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19 Responses to “Beach Etiquette, Jackasses, and Karma”

  1. bmagpub May 27, 2014 at 1:05 AM #

    Thank you for the images – the last few gave be a decidedly need lift – so nice seeing children out and enjoying themselves :-). I love their joy and innocence. Shame about the jackass.

    • The Guat May 28, 2014 at 8:52 AM #

      So glad they could lift you up…the hula hoop cracks me up. Hope you’re doing better 🙂 And yes … those jackasses did suck, but glad we could turn it around 🙂

  2. anotherday2paradise May 27, 2014 at 3:20 AM #

    I’m with you on the big blue umbrella. Very inconsiderate indeed. Love the pic of your son doing the hula hoop. Looks like you all had a blast anyway. 🙂

    • The Guat May 28, 2014 at 8:53 AM #

      Duuuuuuuude … am I right about that umbrella or what? She totally thought I was crazy for even suggesting she move over…offended even. I so wanted her sunscreen not to work that day.

  3. John W. Howell May 27, 2014 at 6:07 AM #

    The other Jackass I love is the boom box idiot. Up so loud it hurts the head. Glad the day went better.

    • The Guat May 28, 2014 at 8:55 AM #

      Oh my God! I forgot about that one. Yeah the beach seems to cater to a few different types jackasses. It’s a shame, but hopefully karma will work its magic everywhere 🙂

      • John W. Howell May 28, 2014 at 11:01 AM #

        How about (ugh) the trash jackass. Many of those.

  4. peacelovegreatcountrymusic May 27, 2014 at 9:19 AM #

    Toothaches, summer tv repeats, bad music, and jackasses are the.worst.things.ever.

    • The Guat May 28, 2014 at 8:56 AM #

      Duuuuuuuuuuuude. Yes. Yes. Jackasses who listen to bad music on the beach. Dude. Makes you wish they had a toothache 🙂

  5. The Wanderlust Gene May 27, 2014 at 5:51 PM #

    Here, the worst Jackasses are those who kick or flick sand, spraying their neighbours or those they walk past! 🙂

    • The Guat May 28, 2014 at 8:58 AM #

      Duuuuuuude. Yes we have some of those over here too, sometimes you just have to have a conversation before they blind you with all that sand.

  6. susielindau May 27, 2014 at 8:15 PM #

    NICE! I’m glad you salvaged the day! It sounds like your kids are going to be pretty artistic and they had a fun time too! 🙂

    • The Guat May 28, 2014 at 9:06 AM #

      Dude I was so happy I was able to snap out of it. That lady sucked and I was so hoping karma would show up in the form of a sunburn or a giant gust of wind that would toss that tent in the ocean. But that karma works in mysterious ways. I was thankful I was able to have fun regardless.

      • susielindau May 28, 2014 at 3:32 PM #

        Karma worked in your favor! You ended on a sweet note!

  7. claywatkins May 28, 2014 at 10:47 AM #

    There are jerks everywhere – met mine Friday night and I turned into that same person. My issue was yielding when the obstruction is on my side of the road. I stopped to let oncoming traffic pass and two jack@&& passed on the left and squeezed the oncoming traffic over so they could pass. Arrrrgggghhh. I am better now. Glad you had a good time – karma is an awesome dance partner. I am glad that I am not the only one who is frustrated with poor behavior.

    It’s getting to be beach weather here – but our beach is the lake or lakes – you gotta take what you can get. Have a great week!

    • The Guat May 31, 2014 at 2:29 PM #

      Dude there are jerks everywhere … it’s like a universal thing. Traffic seems to bring out the best. Hope you put that car chaos behind and are enjoying the lake this weekend. The lake is pretty awesome. There are no sharks when you’re trying to paddle board, so I’d definitely give it a thumbs up 🙂

  8. Jenny Hansen May 28, 2014 at 12:54 PM #

    I am totally pigment-challenged and could blind an entire station at the beach with my bare legs, but even a glow-worm like me would NOT bring a tent to the beach.

    You want a tent, you go to a lake, or a forest. You want the beach, you bring an umbrella or a pop-up and wear a ton of sunscreen.

    I’m glad you pointed out the jackassery. If more people did that, there’d be less of it. R-a-a-w-r!!

    • The Guat May 31, 2014 at 2:35 PM #

      Dude am I right about that? I mean this chick needed SPF 70, but the tent? Come on now. I would have loved to see an episode of More Cowbell unfold in that situation 🙂 The comedy would have made me less hostile 🙂 And yeah … I think the more people point out this type of jackass behavior the less likely it if for future jackasses to present themselves. But you never know … they’re clueless.

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