Archive | 11:59 PM

I Realized I Had Turned Into A Spork

3 Feb
Image via

Image via


As a mother of two, I was a big time proponent of multitasking, it was part of my survival mechanism on my journey through parenthood. Although, I think as a female it’s just something inherent in us, we’re wired for multitasking. We’re resourceful that way. We see our to-do list and think how much of these crappy tasks can I get done in an hour?

You pack as much as you can in 60 minutes so that you have less to do the next 60 minutes. You’re just trying to make things as easy as possible for yourself after sunset, because night time is supposed to be quiet time. Meditation time. Chocolate time. Wine time. Framboise time. Miller time. AMC or FX time. So multitasking is supposed to be your savior.

And it was …

I’d be proud of the fact that I’d make good use of my time by knocking things off my list, answering emails, and paying bills, while cooking lunch. Playing Legos with my kid while folding laundry, and watching a movie.  Cleaning the bathroom while taking a shower.

Yeah … I felt like Superwoman.

But towards the end of the week, things would get out of hand as I tried to add more things to my multitasking itinerary and then the quality would suffer. My emails were half-assed, my bills would get paid on the wrong days with the incorrect amount, and my culinary skills would suffer. My kid didn’t think laundry and Legos went well together, and I’d always rewind the movie because I’d miss a great line. In addition showers were no longer relaxing for me, because the fumes from the Ajax did not produce a Zen-like vibe.

This lack of quality would irritate me, and I’d have an Incredible Hulk moment because not only did I not finish the stupid list, but when I did, some of the things were half-assed.  I realized I was a whole-ass kind of person.

These events would totally burn me out, and I would be in desperate need of chocolate.

And during one of my Godiva moments, I had a revelation. It happened about a year after I had my second kid, but I am just now sharing this wisdom with you.

I realized I had turned into a spork.

A spoon-fork.

At first sight it seems like an awesome idea. Wow. A spoon and a fork in one. A space saver and a way of using less plastic. Awesome right? Yeah … until it’s the only utensil you have and you’re trying to eat soup. Savory soup. Let me tell you, eating soup with a sport sucks. It’s sad … just sad.

So now I’ve accepted the fact that some things are just not gonna get done. And I’m all right with that. I’m still Superwoman, only with less stress. I still multitask, but I don’t get crazy with the number of things on my 60-minutes-to-do list. And if I have to drop all the things off my list just to focus on one, I do. I’m in favor of quality over quantity.

So cut yourself a break.

Don’t turn into a spork.


It’s Monday. And even if it’s not, give yourself a break anyway because sometimes multitasking is not a great idea … like when you’re trying to eat soup with a spork.

It’s sad. Just sad.