No Need For Counting Calories … Really … No Need. It’s The Holidays.

9 Dec

I don’t understand why diets and holidays tend to come together. It’s really the worst time to watch what you’re eating.

People tend to restrict themselves and cut back because they’re watching their figure. I’ve seen the Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig commercials, as well as those gym commercials. People constantly wanting you to lose weight. Now I’m not saying some people don’t need to, I’m sure they do. But the majority of us fit in the “normal” category where love handles are accepted and we really shouldn’t be pressured to feel bad about it.

I mean these new “moms” posting pictures of themselves with abs of steel days after giving birth?

Dude cut it out.

I’m glad you think you look good. That’s great, but really … normal moms everywhere don’t need to see that. That does not fuel inspiration that fuels a are-you-fucking-kidding-me moment? I think I speak for most parents when I say that sleep usually overrides any workout plan, when you have a newborn that wakes you up every two hours.

But I digress.

Food and holidays go together. It’s a must, you can’t go depriving yourself around such a food extravaganza. Come January, February, March and the rest of the months of the year, with the exception of November, you can totally cut back. Count as many points and calories as you want. But feasting on Christmas should be mandatory. It’s not going to kill you. Really regardless of what WebMD might insinuate. It won’t. So splurge people, celebrate the love of food!





Don’t take a little bit of this and not too much of that. Take what you want, it’s Festivus for crying out loud. I’ve never been fond of that “Less is More” mentality. I think less is less. More should be more, especially around the holidays. That’s when the great cooking comes out.

And if you live in a family like mine, it only happens once a year. People in my neighborhood stock up on Maizena and Farmer John’s Manteca. It’s a feast down here in Whoville with tamales galore. Some cooking geniuses even whip up pozole.Β 


I don’t see tamales or pozole for another 364 days of the year so if I feast on three tamales or two bowls of pozole with a pound of bread I’m good. I’m content. I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel guilty. I feel awesome. And if I want to work out, it’s not so much because I feel bad about the food I ate, it’s because it’s already in my routine. It’s also probably the escape I need from the crazy that is my family holiday.

Now before all you health people start getting crazy on me let me just say, I’m not hating on health nut body building Jillian Michaels type of people or encouraging obesity, but I am in favor of enjoyment. You know, swimming in it. I am a food lover. And I look forward to things that I can only get once a year. No need for counting calories. Really. No need. It’s the holidays, people.

So women I encourage you, feel free to let loose on your holiday celebration. Loosen the belt, people. One or two feast nights won’t kill you. It really won’t. In fact I recently found out that it’s not diabetes, obesity, high cholesterol, or heart disease that kills us. According to the genius Louis CK it’s men. Men are the number cause of death for women. So if you want to avoid anything out there, you should really avoid the dude hanging out by the eggnog.



16 Responses to “No Need For Counting Calories … Really … No Need. It’s The Holidays.”

  1. The Jogging Dad December 10, 2013 at 1:21 AM #

    And guess what the number one cause for men’s mental illness is? πŸ™‚

    • The Guat December 10, 2013 at 10:21 AM #

      I’m gonna go with work-related stress, Can’t be the ladies, we’re too busy avoiding you πŸ™‚

  2. susan swiderski December 10, 2013 at 5:13 AM #

    Amen, sister! The definition of an optimist oughta be anyone (stupid enough to) who starts a diet on Thanksgiving or Christmas. No problem here. I’m not that stupid. Besides, whenever I start to think about losing some of my excess lard, I remind myself that after I kick the bucket, all those extra pounds will melt away like magid.

    • The Guat December 10, 2013 at 10:23 AM #

      Dude! Yes! That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I mean I could get hit by a bus or something and other than my health and recovery, I’d probably be thinking I should have had another bowl of pozole or I should’ve finished the pie.

  3. cravesadventure December 10, 2013 at 8:28 AM #

    Ha! – loving your post – need the extra layers right now due to the freezing cold temperatures:) Happy Tuesday!

    • The Guat December 10, 2013 at 10:25 AM #

      Ha! Thanks. Yeah I feel skinny people are always cold, keeping them from exploring outdoor adventure, but people with curves like me and you are definitely more adventurous in snow-like weather πŸ™‚ Those layers workin’ it. πŸ™‚

  4. Island Traveler December 10, 2013 at 10:13 AM #

    Count me in! My wife told me this morning,” you really like those pumpkin spice, sugar cinnamon and egg nog,” as I sipped the last coffee laden with flavor of Christmas. My answer,”yes I do!” Food is part of celebrating the joys of the holidays. Wishing you and your family all things amazing this Winter season!

    • The Guat December 10, 2013 at 7:15 PM #

      I love that story. I would probably respond in the same manner. I can just picture you totally enjoying ever sip. Ha! Hope you get more tasty eggnog in your future. πŸ™‚

  5. brickhousechick December 10, 2013 at 10:44 AM #

    I most definitely must be the BESTEST person in the world then! Yipee!!! Buen Provecho, Guat!

    • The Guat December 10, 2013 at 12:29 PM #

      Dude. You are. Definitely the bestestess πŸ™‚

  6. Kathryn McCullough December 10, 2013 at 2:38 PM #

    I can definitely put off the diet for another month–or more–how about WAY more!? Shit, who needs diets anyway? I say, eat up, avoid the dudes, and eat some more.

    Hungry in Ecuador,

    • The Guat December 10, 2013 at 7:20 PM #

      Yes! Definitely. You get me, you really do. I’m all for a non-dieting existence. It’s an awesome lifestyle if you know how to live it. πŸ™‚ I’m sure you agree with me πŸ™‚

  7. anotherday2paradise December 12, 2013 at 3:40 PM #

    YOur post made me smile, TG. Thanks for the permission to really enjoy the holiday feasting. I certainly will. πŸ™‚

    • The Guat December 12, 2013 at 7:12 PM #

      Dude … so glad it did. By all means have at it … chocolate and all πŸ™‚

  8. L.S. December 23, 2013 at 9:24 AM #

    Absolutely! Love your story. I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU SISTER about all of it—–esp. the LOVE OF FOOD! And really…..3,4 months after you just gave birth and you already have your body back? and oh…. it’s no special diet you just run around after your other little ones? really? LIARS! Great story……

    • The Guat January 14, 2014 at 1:57 PM #

      Thanks chica! Hope you’re doing well and that the New Year is rocking your boat πŸ™‚

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