Stupid Ricky Martin

25 Sep

Livin’ La Vida Loca CD

I hadn’t given him any thought in years.


But a friend of mine recently lost her father, and after talking to her, trying to comfort her, I remembered my own loss, which happened a couple of years ago. And all the feelings came rolling in. That’s when Ricky Martin resurfaced.

Pinche Ricky Martin.

There’s a point in everyone’s life when you realize that your parent was trying to do something nice for you, trying to perform an act of kindness. There are times when you get it. You realize that it is happening and you appreciate it and hug it out. This was not one of those times.

This was the time when I was a jackass.

A jackass.

Luckily I corrected my mistake so that ugly window didn’t last long, but still … still I was a jackass for a couple of minutes and that wasn’t cool and for some reason that memory seems to stick with me whenever I see Mr. Livin’ La Vida Loca.

Everyone has an I-love-this-singer-so-much-that-I’m-going-to-marry-him phase. Yeah I was in college. I had dreams and I was going to be Mrs. Enrique Iglesias. He had just come out with his first CD and you know when people sing in Spanish the meaning seems to be even deeper. I had gone to three of his concerts that semester, listened to his CD over and over, and knew all the words to his songs. I was hooked.

He was my man.

So when I came home to celebrate my birthday that summer, I had a little shindig with my family and a couple of friends. My dad came home from work, exhausted, but still managed to smile, pat me on the head, and wish me a happy birthday. He set down his briefcase, opened it up and handed me a small gift.

It looked like a CD. I was excited. My dad smiled. Had to be his new CD. I unwrapped it and there he was staring at me …

Mr. Cup of Life

Ole, Ole, Ole.

Ricky Martin.


I was so not excited and had the “Oh…um….thanks” look on my face. And then my dad’s smile faded into confusion. “That’s your guy, right?”

And you know what I said? Do you know what I said? Instead of saying thank you, instead of smiling and giving him a hug and appreciating the effort you know what my ding-ding knucklehead brain said?

“Oh, Dad … this is not Enrique Iglesias.”

“It’s not?”

And as soon as I said it, I wanted to kick my own ass.

I visualized my dad at the Tower Records browsing through the Latin Heart Throb music section, probably being the only white-haired bald dude in his late fifties hanging out in that aisle. I pictured him confused and trying to decide which CD out of all of them was not on my shelf. All the hunks look the same.

I pictured him standing in line behind a couple of kids, who were probably looking at him strangely as he proudly held onto that Ricky Martin CD. I pictured the clerk giving my dad the one-eyebrow raise as he happily paid for my present. I pictured my dad patting himself on the back on a job well done.

These images flashed before my eyes.

“No dad it’s not. It’s Ricky Martin and it’s an awesome CD. Thanks dad! Thanks.”

I gave him a hug.

The CD still sits in my collection.  



10 Responses to “Stupid Ricky Martin”

  1. bgddyjim September 26, 2013 at 12:07 AM #

    I think you’re being too hard in yourself… Your dad tried but he wasn’t paying attention. Now I wasn’t there so I don’t know the whole story, but I’d say your disappointment taught your dad a very positive lesson.

    Have I got a story for you… One year my wife told my dad that he should get me shop-vac attachments for Christmas – for a shop-vac that I didn’t even have no less. I went through the frickin’ roof!

    Though I felt guilty for a minute, my wife hasn’t suggested or bought me a stupid gift since. I did apologize to my dad, who was like a deer in the headlights. The problem was that my wife, God bless her, used Christmas to gift crap that you would have to buy on any normal Monday. She had to be cured of that, and that is exactly what I did.

  2. brickhousechick September 26, 2013 at 6:36 AM #

    Awwww. The fact that you recognized what you had done immediately after saying it speaks to your loving heart and love for your father! I love both these guys. It does not matter that Ricky is gay, I want him. hee,hee.

    • The Guat September 26, 2013 at 11:23 PM #

      Thanks. I was hoping that 360 turn was fast, but when thinking back I always wish it was faster or that I didn’t have to do it 🙂 But yeah … he tried. And I think a lot of chics agree with you, they’d take either dude 🙂

  3. adinparadise September 26, 2013 at 6:49 PM #

    Aaaaw….this is such a sweet post, TG. Your dad sounds like he was a great father, and always did his best, even if he did get the wrong guy.. 🙂 So sorry about your friend’s loss.

    • The Guat September 26, 2013 at 11:14 PM #

      Thanks, he was a really good dad and yeah he tried even though he brought home Ricky Martin CDs sometimes, he tried 🙂 And thanks for your kind words, I’m keep sending my friend positive vibes and prayers.

  4. lameadventures September 26, 2013 at 9:54 PM #

    Hey, your dad made an effort and sincerely wanted to make you happy, even though all those Latin pop stars were a blur to him. You seemed to recognize that and made a nice rebound. Your story reminded me about a misfire I had with my parents in 1964 when the Beatles crossed the pond. My siblings and I went nuts over them. All I wanted was a Remco brand hairy-headed Beatle doll ( to play with while listening to their records. They cost about $2 each then which according to the DollarTimes currency calculator is equal to $14.86 today. They weren’t cheap and I knew there was no way I would score all four. But what Remco brand doll did my parents get me?

    • The Guat September 26, 2013 at 11:05 PM #

      OH MY GOD! Your 1964 flashback totally cracked me up. Just when I was feeling down and out and guilty about the whole Ricky Martin thing you make me laugh with one of your LA stories. Thanks for the pick-me-up and thanks for helping me laugh. Can always count on you.

      • lameadventures September 27, 2013 at 4:50 AM #

        Glad you appreciated it. That figurine is supposed to be LBJ when he was running for president against Barry Goldwater. It had a “10” on the forehead in ink meaning it cost a dime. I did not play with it while listening to “Help!”

    • jlhilleary April 3, 2014 at 2:48 PM #

      I laughed so hard at your two links… I grew up with Cal Worthington near Los Angles, so that made it all the more special. Thank you for including those links for your story!

    • jlhilleary April 3, 2014 at 2:51 PM #

      I re-read that comment and realized I was thinking the sentence in my head… even though you mentioned below that it was supposed to be LBJ, it’s a dead-ringer for Cal Worthington, the LA car dealer who made an impression on everyone who had to endure his commercials with his “dog” (elephant, tiger, etc) Spot.

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