Archive | 11:59 PM

Fixing Broken Windows

23 Jul

Dear Broken Windows Theory,

I had never heard of you, but after getting that background check courtesy of Google I think you apply more to relationships than law-enforcement theories.

I know that originally you define yourself as a policing philosophy that believes if a neighborhood tolerates small examples of crime, like broken windows, public drunkenness, or graffiti, people are “more likely to commit more serious crimes”.

I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I do know that you definitely apply to relationships.



Here is the list of a few “Broken Windows” that cause disorder, frustration, and out of control feelings, which may eventually lead to Snapped! moments.




Leaving wet towels on the floor and then wondering why the towel smells moldy.

Not replacing the toilet paper roll and leaving the sad empty roll clinging to bits of tissue.

Leaving the toilet seat up.

Throwing dirty clothes right next to the hamper, not in it, just next to it.

Drinking out of the carton, leaving one drop left, and then putting it back in the fridge.

Throwing out the garbage, but never replacing the trash bag.

Never “finding” anything in the refrigerator because you never look behind anything, and then asking your better half … Where’s the _____?

Driving the car for two days and then failing to put gas in it when the “empty” gas light is on.

Leaving piles of baby bottles with milk still in them on the counter. Not washed. Not even rinsed. Just there … smelling of stale milk.

Never making the bed knowing full well that the sheets on the floor are due to your non-diagnosed Restless Leg Syndrome.

Shoes left in the middle of the room, so that I can trip and fall on them in the middle of the night.

Leaving all the kitchen cabinet doors and drawers open so that when I walk in I smack myself with the very sharp corners.

Piles of clean laundry scattered about the room, folded, but not put away.

Channel surfing at the speed of light.


All these “broken windows” by themselves don’t seem that catastrophic, but a few of these in a row can definitely require meditation and a chocolate emergency. Everyone has broken windows, I guess the trick is to be aware of your own and make sure you board those up before hostility erupts and someone gets thrown off a cliff. I’ve got plenty of hammer and nails because there are a couple of broken windows here in Guatville. So Broken Window Theory, I think you definitely could expand passed the neighborhood watch program and into our Everybody Loves Raymond existences.