What Kind of Friend Are You?

22 May

I’d like to think that I’m the kind of person a friend could call if they needed to move a body. I consider loyalty to be a very important quality in a person. So if someone called me I’d like to think I would pause Mad Men and drive over there immediately. No judgment.

Now before you go freaking out calling the police, I don’t mean the kind of body you would have to move out to the desert, requiring a shovel and a deep hole. No, that’s a whole different conversation and level of friendship. I’d probably have to know you for more than ten years to do something like that. But no, that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about a body that’s passed out on your couch for some reason or another. A mom. A dad. A brother. A sister. A son. A daughter. A grandma. Your dude. Your lady. Whatever they may be to you. If they’re passed out because of too many Lemon Drop Martinis, El Patron shots, or something stronger I’d like to think that my friends could call on me for help. No judgment. No drama. No gasps of horror. No lectures.

The “please don’t tell anybody about this–” preamble would not even be necessary with me.

I read something recently about the depths of friendship and the whole moving the body situation, they got all into it with details, scenarios, and different types of friendships. And it got me thinking about the type of friend I am.

I’m not the fake Facebook friend, I’m the body-mover. I realized that I’m one of those people.

I’d probably show up with a great piece of chocolate and tell you there’s no need to move the body, just leave it there. There’s no social worker coming over. So let them sleep it off. But if you still wanted me too, I’d help you move it. I work out. I’ve got muscles. We could do it. Then we could feast on chocolate and I’d probably try to throw in some Goodfellas type of jokes just to lighten the mood. And there would be no chisme, no drama, no judgment. Just safety in knowing that The Guat’s got your back. Really I’m the last person to be judging anybody, my life isn’t all happily ever after, it’s like a Spanish soap opera, but with more clothing and less good-looking people.

But while I was contemplating what an awesome non-judgmental body mover I would be, I realized that I only had a few of these type of friends on my speed dial. I had movie-going friends, writing pals, eating lunch time friends, give me a ride to the airport friends, and go to a game with friends. Not too many move-a-body friends, or relatives for that matter.

I felt a little bad about that, but then I realized you only need a few of those friends. Bodies aren’t that heavy if you’ve got a plan. You really only need one friend like that. A strong one, or maybe one that studied physics in college, stuff that would make body moving easy. I mean it would be awesome to have like twenty body moving friends, but realistically I didn’t see that in my future. But I could be wrong. In times of crisis people come through for you. They surprise you. So you never know.




15 Responses to “What Kind of Friend Are You?”

  1. TBM May 23, 2013 at 2:06 AM #

    I’m not the Facebook friend either. I’m the one people call when they have no one else to call. Like you, my life hasn’t been pretty. They know I won’t be judgmental. I don’t see the point in being that way. I have two people I can call to move a body–I feel lucky about that. For me, you need movie buddies. Frivolous friends. And then you need a couple of real friends in your life. The ones for the heart to hearts. The ones who really know you. If too many people know you, the other friends aren’t as special. Does that make sense?

    • The Guat May 24, 2013 at 10:29 PM #

      Dude. Totally makes sense. I get what you’re saying. I don’t need too many people to know me, just the few and who are worthy enough to hear my story 🙂

  2. Laura Bloomsbury May 23, 2013 at 3:00 AM #

    what a fabulously funny friend you are – ‘’like a Spanish soap opera, but with more clothing and less good-looking people”. I’d call you just to have you come over and cheer me up though I might have to invent a mini-drama –

    • The Guat May 24, 2013 at 10:32 PM #

      Thanks for the props. And dude I’d be there. It’s my mission in life to cheer people up and if I have to move the body to do it, then it’s on. I’d stop by even if there was no body. No drama needed just let me know it’s been a crappy day, because we’ve all had plenty of those. 🙂

  3. 76sanfermo May 23, 2013 at 4:45 AM #

    Your post is fantastic!
    With the word ” fantastic” I mean unique , incredible , stunning , amazing ,etc etc….
    And ,as a friend ,you must be all those adjectives together.
    I love you.

    • The Guat May 24, 2013 at 10:33 PM #

      Thanks so much for the props! It definitely made my night! Have a great weekend.

  4. susielindau May 23, 2013 at 8:19 AM #

    You sound like the kind of friend everyone would love to have! You could come over and move me off the couch!

    • The Guat May 24, 2013 at 10:34 PM #

      Ha! Thanks I really appreciate the love 🙂 If I was ever in Colorado I would totally move you off the couch. But I don’t think you’re ever on it. You’re a Wild Rider! 🙂

      • susielindau May 25, 2013 at 8:28 AM #

        I am indeed although I will be hitting the couch really soon…

  5. Island Traveler May 24, 2013 at 4:52 AM #

    It is hard to find real and loyal friends nowadays. I learned the hard way who my friends were during difficult times. Less than a handful were really there. Most only show up during the “Happy Hour.” I realized that my best friends are also my family. They help me make it through.

  6. Island Traveler May 24, 2013 at 4:53 AM #

    All we need is a loyal few that will stick through thick and thin. The rest….hmmm.

    • The Guat May 24, 2013 at 10:35 PM #

      Yes … I agree with you. In times of desperation and crappiness you realize who is really there for you. You only need the few that are true and yes the rest of them are definitely hmmmmmmm. Have a great weekend, my friend.

  7. lameadventures May 28, 2013 at 9:56 PM #

    Advising a friend about what to do with a passed out person and being a steel trap about it is a valuable attribute Guat.

    • The Guat May 31, 2013 at 10:32 PM #

      Oh! I so knew you would appreciate that skill. 🙂 It’s right up there with loyalty and humor 🙂

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