Good Times, Good Food, Good Friends, and Underwear

12 Feb

Normally I would hyperventilate in a place like this. I mean it is so far off The Guat grid that I feel like a lost and confused tourist in environments like these.

I mean in all honesty, I shouldn’t have been in that store in the first place. I mean I wasn’t properly dressed. There I was in jeans, a t-shirt and a backpack, while everyone else was all Cover-Girled up with their dresses, slacks, and fancy handbags. The fact that I was sick probably didn’t help matters. I mean crappy looking people on NyQuil just don’t go walking into Victoria Secret, but I did. I had to. There was a bridal shower at stake and a good friend on my mind. I had to buy the appropriate gift. So I cowboy-ed up and entered the Pink section.

Now normally I don’t think much about the underwear I’m wearing, but among all the pink lace, fancy satin, leopard prints, and G-strings I couldn’t help but think of my comfy Hanes Hipster Cotton six pack undies from Target. I felt like my underwear and I didn’t really belong, but it was all good. There was a cotton section, and luckily there was more than just pink stuff and I was able to find a nice blue satin number for my friend.

But there was another underwear assignment handed out. There would be games at this bridal shower, and I was to buy a pair of underwear, in the bride’s size, that would best represent my personality. I looked around … this was not the store for me. So I ventured off in search of the undies that said “The Guat”.

It didn’t take long to find what I was looking for, I saw them hanging there at the other store … and I knew. I knew, this was the winner. As I purchased my pair I couldn’t help but wonder what the other girls were buying. I mean I knew all their personalities. I was just very curious as to how the game would pan out, and who would be the winner, because when it comes to bridal shower games … we all get very competitive. I know it’s all supposed to be for fun, but it happens at every shower. We get crazed to win. When they say “pencils down,” you better believe that someone’s aunt or mom is going to be regulating you if you took an extra second jotting names down. And if there is a battle between two ladies in a risqué game, you know it’s going to be cause for some awesome comic relief. And let me tell you there was plenty of comedy. We had a tie, a tie. And in our circle of trust there was only one way to settle this matter. A battle. A dance battle. I hadn’t laughed that hard in such a long time. I might have pee in my pants a little.

But I don’t think the competitive drive in us has anything to do with the prizes. But more with the victory — the fact that you’ve won. That woo-hoo! moment. You reach your arms up in the air and say yes! Yes! I won! A-ha! It’s that moment that drives us.

So needless to say I was definitely looking forward to this celebration. Was it because of the crazy amount of delicious food? Definitely. Was it the awesome time that awaited me because of great friends? No doubt. Was it the games? Probably. Did I win? Did I get a woo-hoo moment? Yes. Yes I did. And it wasn’t on the “How Well Do You Know The Bride” 20 questions game. I completely failed on that one. In fact, after that game I felt like a terrible friend. Most of us did. I felt like I didn’t really know her at all. I mean where the hell have I been for like fifteen years, and how come I didn’t know she would have ordered oatmeal as her go-to meal at a brunch? I don’t know, I was probably too busy stuffing my face with bacon to notice. But I rebounded and made up for it with a win in the underwear game. Good times, good food, good friends and underwear. Definitely a great way to spend the afternoon.

The underwear game ... challenging but I ended up the victor.

The underwear game … challenging but I ended up the victor. Did you guess which one was mine?


14 Responses to “Good Times, Good Food, Good Friends, and Underwear”

  1. 76sanfermo February 13, 2013 at 1:34 AM #

    No , I didn’t ! ( I know I never win in cases like this….!)
    But I adored your photo and your post . LoL

    • The Guat February 15, 2013 at 11:54 PM #

      Thanks so much. It was definitely a fun day.

  2. 1pointperspective February 13, 2013 at 3:32 AM #

    It’s interesting to hear of a woman who is uncomfortable at Victoria’s Secret. I always feel like a sex offender when I walk in there, and there is nothing my wife would want, unless they have a flannel granny section that I don’t know about.

    I’m guessing the blue boxers on the far left. Everything else looks too VS.

    • The Guat February 15, 2013 at 11:59 PM #

      Duuuuuuuuude. I totally feel out of it at that store, but not as bad a you imagine. I guess most guys feel like perves in there. Too funny. You’re right everything there does look all VS, but the boxers weren’t mine. I opted the Wonder Woman pair, because I figured she was badass and so am I 🙂

      • 1pointperspective February 17, 2013 at 4:50 PM #

        Perfect example of my out of tune-ness when it comes to the dainties. As far as Victoria’s Secret, whenever I’m in there, I’m always amazed that they must have XXXL sizes somewhere.

        • The Guat February 18, 2013 at 2:32 PM #

          Dude they gotta have the XXXL … I think they’re on the bottom drawers 🙂

  3. TBM February 13, 2013 at 5:27 AM #

    Well truth be told, if I had to bring underwear that I feel the most comfortable in, it would be boxers (yeah I know I’m a girl but they are so cozy and roomy–I’ve been needing roomy lately). I don’t wear them all the time, but odds are on the weekend, I am with a t. So I’m guessing yours are the boxers as well based on the fact that we wear the same outfit to Victoria’s: jeans, t, and backpack. My backpack is old and stinks like soy sauce since I’ve spilled an insane amount of the stuff in there when I used to work and had to transport my lunch to work.

    Hope you are feeling better.

    • The Guat February 16, 2013 at 12:04 AM #

      I’m totally a comfort chick and I don’t blame you for wearing boxers they are comfortable, I wear a couple of the boyshort undies they’re totally in the comfort zone and I’m glad to hear that we share the same Victoria Secret shopping outfits 🙂 Ha! You’re the second person to think the boxers were mine and in truth I was thinking about buying those, but I saw an awesome pair of Wonder Woman undies and thought dude…I am soooooooooooo Wonder Woman. She’s badass.

  4. Laura Bloomsbury February 13, 2013 at 5:28 AM #

    how many years did it take you to hone your humour/humor? 🙂 I guess you chose the oatmeal long john style knickers as unconsciously you knew your friend’s brunch choice – you just confused it with her underwear style

    • The Guat February 19, 2013 at 2:01 PM #

      HA! That was a good one, but my subconscious is not that great. Thanks for the compliment.

  5. rommel February 13, 2013 at 7:40 AM #

    Honestly, I don’t get the whole post. Bwahahahaha. For girl’s only post I guess. 😀

    • The Guat February 16, 2013 at 12:11 AM #

      Ha. I guess guys don’t play those kinds of games 🙂 But glad you stopped by anyway.

  6. lameadventures February 13, 2013 at 6:25 PM #

    Are you that tan garment that’s second on frame right that brings to mind a sausage casing?

    • The Guat February 16, 2013 at 12:10 AM #

      HA! Those Spanx, that was too funny when I saw them. But I have to admit … the Wonder Woman are mine. I debated between her and BatGirl, but I thought Wonder Woman a little bit more badass 🙂

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