You ever feel like your life needs an intervention? I mean you’re not an alcoholic, drug user, or addict of any kind. Your only “addiction” is giving people the benefit of the doubt and somehow you just run into a lot of stupid people and a lot of bad luck. You look in the mirror and think this can’t be it. This really can’t be it. You need to sit yourself down in front of the mirror and say … What the hell is going on?
Yeah … I had one of these moments. And then I saw this …
I thought … holy crap I’m already there and I’m not even 40 yet, but I’m already there.
Granted the situation is not the same. I don’t have a trampoline and I’m not a bitchy wife, but you have these moments where you think … I didn’t think life would be this hard, or this much work. I mean I followed all the rules. The do what’s right and not wrong rules, the be kind to others rules, the go to college rules, the bust your ass to get an education and good job rules, the be a good mom with a good heart rules, the follow your dream rules, the make a Bucket List rules, the create a Happiness Project rules.
All the rules … I’ve done all the right thing rules and sometimes … sometimes it works and I can say that I’m happy … for a minute.
But I’d like it to last a little bit longer than just a length of a commercial.
I mean there are other times when I think … damn do I need another self-help project? A smack me out of this crappy state of mind project? However, I think I have too many projects already, I mean I can’t even find the time to fold my laundry. And when you’re the mom in a family, you usually come last on the list of priorities. I guess I have to start picking an entire 24-hour period where I’m first, instead of an hour three times a week.
But let’s not get crazy, who ever heard of me getting 24 hours to myself once a week. Dude. Hasn’t happened yet.
I find myself in a happiness recession today. I’ve fallen off the Happiness Project-Bucket List Wagon. I don’t know, maybe I’m just still tripping over the loss of my dog, or maybe I just had a really crappy weekend, or maybe I need to see this Judd Apatow movie to get a few suggestions on how to get out of this unhappiness weekend funk by using comedy.
Maybe I just need a movie night. A ticket for one. A table for one. The quiet silence of the night without getting interrupted by someone needing something.
Maybe this weekend was a temporary setback and I need to continue chipping away at my “Do Better” list, my Bucket List, and my Happiness Project. Maybe I just need a 2.0 version of myself before I actually hit 40, so that I don’t have a crisis when I hit that milestone birthday. Maybe I need to continue visualizing The Guat 2.0 in order to get passed the current happiness funk the weekend brought me. Maybe I just need to cowboy-up and realize that sometimes bad days last a little while longer, and I just need to buy more chocolate in order to get through weekends just like these. It’s all part of the intervention process. Chocolate is step one. Comedy is step two.
Falling off the emotional Happiness Project-Bucket List wagon is hard. It’s a good thing I’ve got padding, I feel I’m gonna need a lot of it.