Archive | 11:07 PM

Thank You Inventors of Duct Tape

17 Nov

It was a disaster. A disaster that hasn’t happened in over six years, but nevertheless a disaster anyway. A complete catastrophic event owed to the number three … as in three turnovers which led to three touchdowns, which then led to three glasses of Framboise. And then the complete disaster continued and ultimately sent me into a serious angry-depressed-crappy day spiral.

One pint of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked.

Two Hostess cupcakes

11 Oreo cookies.

101 swear words.

One broken remote control.

And three Ghirardelli squares.

Still nothing.

My blood was still boiling.

My blood pressure was still up.

My profanity level was still at an all-time high.

Image via LA Times by Gina Ferazzi

If there were a time when you would want the players on television to hear you, it would be today. Today. The day of The Big Game. The day where my Trojans dropped the ball and uncharacteristically lost to the Bruins.

Dude.

I cleared out my chocolate stash and my emergency stash. Completely burned out by the terrible way they played in the first half and then making a big a huge comeback only to have a brain fart in the end. I mean who were these people?

Yeah the Trojans. Always giving their fans heart attacks and emotional breakdowns every season — however this season there was a little bit too much of that. Thank God for those Aflac commercials, otherwise I would not have laughed at all after the game.

Alas … the saga of the sports fan.

In the end it was the remote control who suffered most. Being thrown across the room and slammed against the floor whenever the Trojans made a bonehead error proved to be almost fatal. I’m a diehard fan there was a lot throwing. However, I’m glad I found the duct tape. It’s a miracle worker after BIG GAME night.

Thank you inventors of duct tape. Remote control works just fine.

 

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