Tommy Knows How I Feel About the Mommy & Me Mafia

25 Oct

Sometimes for your kids you make great sacrifices. You take one for the team so that they can enjoy the sandbox and the slides.

However, when it comes to this group I’m just not having it. I hang out with the outcasts like the single dad or the housekeeper. But in truth, I don’t mind being an outsider. In fact when it comes to this group I enjoy the looking-from-the-outside-in perspective… it’s great material.

The Mommy & Me Mafia.

I know I’ve mentioned them before in passing, but you may not be aware of them. It’s a cult. They hang out at the park with their fancy diaper bags, Jackie-O sunglasses, greasy hair, and flip-flops. As soon as you walk in with your Sports Authority attire and New Balance, they check you out from top to bottom, you know, to see if they’ll let you sit at the lunch table. They talk about mommy stuff 24-7, but they aren’t really paying attention to their kids at all. They sit there checking out their new mommy apps on their iPhones and the only time they glance up from their little mommy pow-wow is when they hear a kid scream, and it’s usually their kid who’s causing most of the drama.

The Mommy & Me Mafia trip me out. I tend to stay away from cliques. I’m not in high school anymore. I have a couple of gray hairs already. My time is valuable. I don’t need the catty drama. I don’t have time to hang out with people I don’t like. I don’t have time to listen to fake stories about how awesome their kid is, how they never act up at the supermarket, and how they can already read at third-grade level. Cut it out. He still wears Pull-Ups.

So, when I run into the Mommy & Me Mafia at a park, a regular park, not one of those sharing parks, and they take liberties with my kids’ toys, I tend to have a Tommy Gavin moment.

Tommy Gavin. I love that clip from Rescue Me. I couldn’t stop laughing at his own encounter with a member of the Mommy & Me Mafia park group. I would love to be part of his Parent & Me group. He’d keep it real. No fakes allowed.

But before you guys get all crazy and start defending these Mommy & Me Mafia groups to the death, I understand that not all of the groups are like this. Some of them provide great support for single parents, or overwhelmed parents. I know they exist somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere. But when I’m 3 for 3 with the crazy moms in groups like these, let’s just say that I’m sticking to the sports scene. Although I’ve seen the crazy sports parent too. But at least with sports, you get to enjoy a game.

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13 Responses to “Tommy Knows How I Feel About the Mommy & Me Mafia”

  1. TBM October 26, 2012 at 2:48 AM #

    I hadn’t seen that clip. Hilarious. Since I don’t have kids, I don’t have a lot of experience with the mafia moms. They sound like an intriguing social entity to study in grad school. I’m more into sports as well. Do they have tether ball at these parks. I used to love playing that. And the monkey bars!

    • bgddyjim October 26, 2012 at 6:31 AM #

      Oh I think you misunderstand – they don’t have toys that are dangerous or could make a child feel bad if they can’t use said toy in the manner intended for fear of their child’s self-esteem… These people are one nut short of psycho – they will not submit to being studied because it is you who is crazy for wanting to study them in the first place. You literally cannot win.

      • The Guat October 26, 2012 at 10:25 PM #

        Yeah…sometimes you definitely just can’t win. You got to grab your blue shovel and go.

    • The Guat October 26, 2012 at 10:22 PM #

      This clip is awesome! I love Tommy Gavin. It totally cracked me up … and you crack me up “social entity to study in grad school” Ha! Wish I had thought that one up. Thanks for checking out the post and the video. 🙂

  2. annablakeblog October 26, 2012 at 4:00 AM #

    There is an equine equivalent to be avoided at all costs. Just say no.

    • The Guat October 26, 2012 at 10:27 PM #

      Most definitely. Just say no. Ha! Good one.

  3. bgddyjim October 26, 2012 at 6:27 AM #

    YES!!! Good God, you hit the nail on the head. Awesome post.

    • The Guat October 26, 2012 at 10:29 PM #

      Ha! Thanks. I was hoping I had some Tommy Gavin supporters 🙂

  4. diannegray October 26, 2012 at 1:50 PM #

    It’s been a long time since my kids were that age – but I still remember that group. Everything is always better for them and their kids are always better and… then you see them 15 years on and things haven’t really turned out as they planned. Little Johnny who was SO smart and was primed to be a doctor has dropped out of school and can’t get a job. Little Sally who was always the prettiest has gone a bit ‘wild’ and now has piercings and tatts.
    It’s wonderful growing older – you get to see people learn and change and sometimes they just run out of things to boast about 😉

    • The Guat October 26, 2012 at 10:40 PM #

      Ohhhhhhhhhhh! That is too funny. Yeah sometimes that happens and it’s good see people learn truth. Humility is a good value, too bad that some folks never learn it, even after karma finds them Thanks for visiting 🙂

  5. Krystal Rose October 27, 2012 at 10:16 PM #

    LOVE Rescue Me…and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Denis in all capacities! He is the man! I don’t have kids but I have plenty of friends that do so I’ve seen these crazies at the parks. You definitely didn’t exaggerate them. It seems that no matter what state you’re in these mommy and me mafia’s are in full swing. Haha!

    • The Guat October 30, 2012 at 12:17 AM #

      Ahhhhhhhh. Yeah I loved Tommy. Dennis was truly awesome in this role as actor and writer. And so glad that there are people out there that agree with me on this mommy & me mafia group. They’re out there.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Happiness Project Update 18: Table For One? Dude. No. Party of Two and Tag-Teams. « The Wish Factor - December 14, 2012

    […] People call it “play dates,” but that word totally annoys me. It reminds me of the Mommy & Me Mafia. So we […]

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