Archive | 11:59 PM

The Never-Ending Refrigerator Saga

7 Oct

I’m not a big fan of reality television. In fact I hate it. But I ran across a show on the Oxygen Network called Snapped! and you know what? I can see how some chicks are featured on this show.

I can see it happening. Most of them are “normal” easy-going chicks: nurses, teachers, college students, accountants, secretaries, or lawyers. But then you have they occasional gold digger and socialite — they’re everywhere. The show basically chronicles a murder investigation and the woman who committed the crime. One minute she’s making dinner and then next minute she’s burying her dude in the back yard. Something happened to throw her over the edge. She snapped!

I can totally see it happening. People get pushed over the edge and there’s no chocolate in sight. And then BAM! You’re serving 20-to-life.

It happens. And in truth there are only few people who can overthrow your delicate balance, push you over the edge, and make you snap! And the thing is they all love you.

Family. Gotta be family.

They all have their quirks … not putting the cap back on the toothpaste, leaving their shoes right in the middle of the floor so that you trip and fall, drinking from the juice carton, not replacing the trash bag after they throw out the trash, not throwing the trash and then … the refrigerator.

Image via

I don’t know what to do other than take a deep breath when this happens. That’s it. I mean there’s no meditation exercise powerful enough to wash over the frustration of the refrigerator battle.

Cleaning out the refrigerator. Not only does it involve emptying out gross containers of food you forgot were there, but it also includes washing the pots, pans, and Tupperware you emptied out, in addition to the drawers and shelves inside the fridge. Then the vicious cycle starts again the following week. It’s never-ending. It’s like a cleaning saga.

However since you cook, you wash dishes, you wash bottles, you mop floors, you scrub toilets, you wash bathtubs, you vacuum, you throw out the trash, you do laundry, you play and feed the kids,  you feel that someone else should grab hold of these reins. You feel you are the best household CEO that you can possibly be, so one of the other two people living in the household should really pick up the slack, considering they are the ones that constantly spill liquids and fail to clean them up.

You sigh each week because you really don’t know how this whole refrigerator saga happens. On Monday everything is fine. You go to the market, put some nice healthy and not-s0-healthy treats inside. It’s stocked. It’s clean. It’s fresh. Everybody’s got what they need.

But then comes Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. A pot of beans with a loose lid, a jar of jalapenos, a juice container that someone forgot to close tightly, hot dogs in a sandwich bag that someone didn’t zip up, cilantro that’s gone way beyond its life expectancy, dozens of Rubbermaid containers with funky leftovers that people forgot to eat, and a saute pan with one spoon of rice.

That one box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda  hanging out in the back is not enough to hold in whatever smells. You get burned out because you cleaned it the last three times and you were not the one that made all those messes. But as the CEO you feel the need to assist. So you throw out anything that’s not fully sealed and put another box of Arm & Hammer in hopes that it’ll do its work. However, a couple of hours later someone opens the door and it’s a little less funky, but it’s still packed with leftovers that no one is really going to eat anymore.

So then what is it that you hear as you are finally sitting down for the first time in nine hours of the mommy-chef-cleaning lady-laundry folder-Lego builder-Play Doh molder-dog walker-and hide-and-seek-player shift?

“Hey, you should take a look at this fridge. Someone should really clean it out,” they say as they open a beer bottle and drop the bottle cap on the floor.

Yeah … I can see how some chicks end up on that show Snapped! I can see it.  It’s a good thing I had a Ghirardelli nearby.