The 99-Cent Store, Aura, and Toilet Bowl Cleaner

21 Sep

I didn’t expect that kind of encounter at The 99 Cent Store. I went in there for hand soap and left feeling a little Twilight Zoney.

Image via Wikipedia

99 Cent Stores. They are awesome for people on a budget, families with kids, teachers, struggling writers, and college students. They are all over the place down here in Southern California. They got everything from duct tape and pliers to statues of the Virgin de Guadalupe and produce. And when it’s a holiday that requires decoration they got an entire aisle dedicated to the festivities. This place makes it affordable to have spirit on holidays.

But the other day my encounter was with a spooky spirit.

Now I’ve been told that I tend to give off a friendly, approachable vibe from time to time, but usually complete strangers tend to keep their distance. But this chick … this chick decided to approach me while I was checking out the Comet and Ajax, doing a toilet bowl cleaner comparison.

She stopped, backed up, and stood in front of me. She was an older woman, with frizzy red hair and clothes that looked like she had purchased at Urban Outfitters.

I knew she was staring at me, but I didn’t say anything right away. I was kind of hoping she was looking for some  toilet bowl cleaner, and I was in her way. But no such luck. She put her hands up in the air, sort of around my personal space. I looked hostile and confused.

“What are you doing?”

“Your aura.”

“My what?”

“Your aura. Your halo.” She did the Mr. Miyagi wax-on, wax-off move around my personal space and I sort of backed away slowly. “I’ve never seen or felt an aura like this.”

She came closer.

“Uh … Your not gonna be feeling anything.”

“No wait. What a powerful aura you have. Such greatness there. Amazing.”

All I could think of was this chick has no idea what the hell she’s talking about. I’m 37, and I live at my parent’s house. I’m the female version of George Costanza.

But she kept going on at how amazed she was with my aura and how she wanted to hold my hand to give me a reading.

Dude. All I needed was hand soap. I just happen to check out the Ajax because I was thinking the toilet could use a good scrubbing. I should pick up a couple of cans, and then there she was … psychic extraordinaire trying to feel up my aura at the 99 Cent Store.

I explained that I really didn’t have time for his whole enlightening experience at the 99 Cent Store, and that I really didn’t let strangers hold my hand. She told me she lived just a couple of blocks down the street and that I could stop by at any time. Her offer to read my palm would still stand.

All I could think about was this is how people get chopped into little pieces and end up in people’s freezers.

Dude. Aura.



11 Responses to “The 99-Cent Store, Aura, and Toilet Bowl Cleaner”

  1. adinparadise September 22, 2012 at 2:07 AM #

    😆 I also love to browse places like ‘The Dollar Store’, but am invariably approached by at least one really odd character. I must have that sort of face, just as you do.

    • The Guat September 25, 2012 at 1:28 AM #

      It was one of the weirdest encounters ever. I’m glad I’m not the only one that suffered this 🙂

  2. on thehomefrontandbeyond September 22, 2012 at 2:48 AM #

    I might rethink visiting that store again – aura indeed! If she could read your aura she would have known not to be in your personal space.
    I love dollar stores, only sometimes things that are not a dollar are priced that–have you ever noticed that sometimes 89 cent items are priced a dollar at these stores –they have to make a profit somehow (admittedly overall you can save a lot of money though)

    • The Guat September 25, 2012 at 1:29 AM #

      Dude I love to save money, but I don’t go back at that time or on that day. Totally weirded me out there.

  3. The Hook September 22, 2012 at 6:41 AM #

    I don’t mention this often, but for years I had two jobs: the hotel and Dollarama! Yes, I labored in retail hell as well!
    So this post resonated with me.. And how!

    • The Guat September 25, 2012 at 1:30 AM #

      No wonder you have such great material. Experience baby…experience.

  4. island traveler September 23, 2012 at 4:40 AM #

    Great post. A still don’t realize how much they could have saved checking these stores for the right stuff. My wife and I would go here for household stuff and even Birthday give-aways. They sell plastic container for $1 when it cost $3-5 at Wal-Mart. It’s a treasure find place if we know where to look.

    • The Guat September 25, 2012 at 1:31 AM #

      I still go back definitely treasure hunting going on there. School supplies, bathroom supplies and decorations. Good place to go.

  5. lameadventures September 23, 2012 at 7:08 PM #

    I’m very glad you didn’t buy her brand of New Age-y style snake oil for I’m sure had you chomped the bait she would have pitched you to purchase something worthless. I agree with onthehomefrontandbeyond, if you truly had a detectable aura, she would have known you were in household cleaning supply mode and it was an opportune time for her to steer clear of your personal space as you compared the pros and cons of Comet vs. Ajax

    • The Guat September 25, 2012 at 1:33 AM #

      Dude. I know she totally interrupted my whole Comet/Ajax debate. I was so thrown off I think I ended up taking Lysol scrubbing bubbles or something. Yeah she wasn’t detecting the Guat aura … you were both right on that one, but she sure put a weird chink in my chain that day.

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