Archive | 11:59 PM

I’m Sorry What Was That?

7 Mar

I was sitting on the couch trying to unwind from my marathon of a day — 13 fun-filled hours of quality time with my three-year old and seven-month old kids. I began digging into my rocky road ice cream as I surfed the channels. Then, I heard it:  “…Teacher by day, porn star by night tune in at eleven.”

I’m sorry what?

Teacher and porn star?

English: teacher

Image via Wikipedia

I know some guys are like …whoa … fantasy. But I don’t know who has the energy to do both of those jobs. I understand the need to supplement income as a teacher, but dude … seriously, start off pole dancing under an assumed name first.

I mean how did the school or anyone find out. I’m sure some horny teenager or their dad caught the live action, but how did they report it.

“Hey I was accidentally watching this box of porn and I noticed my son’s teacher was the star.” How did that conversation happen?

Not to mention how the teacher must’ve felt when kids were watching her film on their cell phones during nutrition and lunch. I bet the dean’s office was busy that day.

I’ve been in the teaching business — the middle school and high school phases of educating young minds — and it sucks. I know Whitney and her “I-believe-that-children-are-our-future” belief, but have you been in the class with thirty of these pimples? After three weeks, you’re getting a monogrammed flask to keep in your desk drawer. I did not have “the calling.” Don’t get me wrong, I was good at the job and got plenty offers to extend my stay, but it wasn’t for me. But that didn’t mean I was off to try my stint in porn either.

Some are great kids, granted. But that’s some. Not all. Some, which makes it easy to understand why so many educators feel underpaid and unappreciated. But that’s no a reason to delve into the Boogie Nights lifestyle. I mean seriously, pick one or the other.

 I don’t know. If I were a porn star I would probably be hanging with my porn star friends, not having teacher conferences, creating lesson plans, or grading papers. I don’t know, she must really love teaching.  It’s like actors, writers or musicians. We need side jobs, like waitressing, to supplement our dream jobs.  But I’ve never heard of porn being supplemental income, generally it’s primary income.

I don’t know, that’s just me. I could be wrong though.

But after her administrative leave assignment from the school district, I don’t think she’s going to be doing much lesson planning and test grading. In fact I think this semester her calendar is pretty much wide open.

I don’t know, I could be wrong. She may have other jobs too.