Archive | 11:57 PM

Sometimes Someone Else Needs to be The Bigger Person

2 Feb
The Trial of the Incredible Hulk

Image via Wikipedia

Don’t you get tired of being the “Bigger Person” sometimes?  I mean there’s only so much compromise you can handle in a 24-hour period before you start breathing heavily, before your muscles start bulging out of your clothes, before your eyes turn red, and your skin turns green. It’s natural to turn into the Incredible Hulk with PMS.


It happens. You snap!

When the crazy driver that cut you off and made an obscene gesture two blocks ago gets trapped in a construction zone and then tries flagging you down to let them merge into the flow of traffic, you shake your head and mouth the words hell no. 

When your backseat driver mom continues giving you the play-by-play analysis of your driving habits for two-and-a-half  hours you pull the car over and tell her she needs to relax, or else you won’t finish the online traffic school course she needed to complete for getting one of those $435 camera tickets.

When your crazed sibling calls you cross-country to “talk” and winds up in a hostile state of being and begins yelling at you in two languages because she can’t understand why your mother didn’t get the mail-in rebate you filled out for her on a new washer and dryer. You tell her, she sounds exactly like Mom and hang up before she has time to respond.

When your husband leaves an almost finished bottle of juice in the refrigerator for the millionth time, you open up his last beer bottle, pour it down the sink, and then write a post-it note saying “now you know how I feel,”  then tape it to the bottle and place it next to the juice.

When the crazed neighbor who looks like a weathered Pippi Longstocking after fifty years of drinking, chain-smoking, and a cocaine snorting habit gone wrong, insults you with massive amounts of profanity and then demands that you put your non-barking senior citizen dog on a leash in your own yard because her deaf, leash-less, one-eyed pit bull wants to roam into your yard, you tell her you’ve never hit a senior citizen in your life, but are willing to make an exception just this once.

When you have a bad day and country music, chocolate, exercise, or The Serenity Prayer are just not turning it around for you, it’s o.k. for someone else to be the “bigger person,” they’re probably out of practice anyway.