The Unvitation

19 Jan

Have you ever gotten the unvitation? These bastards. You know, someone is having a party, simply because your other friends made you aware of it. The big event, which probably took weeks to plan, party favors to buy, and meticulously researched invitations to purchase. But you get the unvitation in a casual conversation the night before. You get the fake smile and the “oh yeeeeeeeeaaaah, you should come.” Or you get the actual invitation in the mail the same day the event takes place.

Custom Invitations

Image via Wikipedia

It’s not that they invite out of obligation either…they invite you, because they know you’re not going to show up: the unvitation. It’s like a slap in the face without the hand. Pretty creative I guess.

What do you do in situations like these? I mean do you go out of spite, and show up with a bunch of drunk friends? Or do you play up the guilt factor and buy the best present ever and wrap it up professionally just to see how the guilt swarms over? Either way you’ve wasted gas and time. Is the gas worth the trip? Do you know how much unleaded is these days? I’d rather buy myself dinner, table for one please. Or least a nice bottle of wine. Riesling. Framboise. Drinking alone is underrated.

On top of considering the travel arrangements to this soiree you have to shell out money on a gift…well unless you re-gift and leave the previous to-and-from tag. I mean that’s the perfect gift for an unvitation. I mean do you honestly want to be at a place where you’re not wanted and spend money on the people who do not want you there?  I mean unless its to throw a pie in their face money spent would suck.

But the unvitation. What is that? I don’t really come from that school of thought. That sounds like Dynasty-Melrose Place passive aggressive crap. I come more from the aggressive-aggressive school. No conspiring. No colluding. Just profanity and flipping the bird. No unvitations. Just giving people the shaft. They know you don’t want them there, you know you don’t want them there. It’s a win-win. Everyone is happy.


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